Private school

[Isis1]

He gave me two options : private school thru his church or homeschooling. He also threatened to have his son taken to social services and put in foster care. ( I don't know if he could do that but the threat was given. I had enrolled him in public school and that is when he threatened me with that.

my ex threatened me with that once. over a football game. i was at work 1.5 hours away and he decided he didn't want to pick up the kids from school because he wanted to watch a football game. said he wasn't picking them up and i had 30 minutes before the school contacted social services.

um...butthead? you are 10 minutes down the street from the school AND THE PHYSICAL CUSTODIAL PARENT. try that. let's see what happens.

he picked them up. on time.

woman...you let this man get away with WAY too much in your relationship for him to even think he can manipulate you this way. you have GOT to start saying no more often.

 

[RRevak]

woman...you let this man get away with WAY too much in your relationship for him to even think he can manipulate you this way. you have GOT to start saying no more often.

^^^This. If you let this man continue to bully you into situations you don't have to agree to or can't afford, then you're in for a long and emotionally (and perhaps financially) difficult road. There is also the fact that if you are planning on becoming a nurse then eventually you're going to deal with difficult patients. If you're having a hard time standing up to this man then how do you expect to deal with patients being difficult? Learn to tell him no when you have every right to say no and stop letting him threaten you with ridiculousness. Your family (who has been paying for your decisions) and later profession will thank you

 

[Ohiogal]

I was bullied into agreeing to private school last year. I was making minimum wage and had to ask my grandparents to pay when it got so far behind they were going to throw him out of school. Our child is exchanged monthly and there is no monetary order for expenses. Whoever has the child pays for what he needs.

Then you lied to us. YOU agreed to private school last year and the court usually continues with that until a court order changes it. HE did not unilaterally enroll the child. YOU agreed to it. You get to pay half the private school bill.

 

[Ohiogal]

He gave me two options : private school thru his church or homeschooling. He also threatened to have his son taken to social services and put in foster care. ( I don't know if he could do that but the threat was given. I had enrolled him in public school and that is when he threatened me with that.

But you gave in and agreed. He couldn't do private school without your agreement nor homeschool. Nor could he put the child in foster care. So you agreed. Now you are trying to say that it is all his fault. That is not going to fly. Go back to court and have the court order the child to attend public school in either your or dad's school district.

 

[Ohiogal]

Just until April 2015

Looks like you need to get a job now. You have responsibilities. Such as supporting your child.

 

[Ohiogal]

^^^This. If you let this man continue to bully you into situations you don't have to agree to or can't afford, then you're in for a long and emotionally (and perhaps financially) difficult road. There is also the fact that if you are planning on becoming a nurse then eventually you're going to deal with difficult patients. If you're having a hard time standing up to this man then how do you expect to deal with patients being difficult? Learn to tell him no when you have every right to say no and stop letting him threaten you with ridiculousness. Your family (who has been paying for your decisions) and later profession will thank you

The problem is, OP is taking NO RESPONSIBILITY. SHE AGREED to the child going to private school. Now she has to go back to court to get the child's schooling switched. Why? Because she agreed. She is not trying to change her mind and get things different. With joint legal custody, things continue the way they were (status quo, meaning the child continues in private school) until the parties agree otherwise OR a court orders otherwise.

 

[stealth2]

You unfortunately put yourself in a bad position for this year by agreeing to private school last year. You now don't get to just change your mind.

I do have to kind of wonder, though... Why have you waited this long to address the situation. You must have known tuition would be an issue well before now - school starts in two weeks - where did you think the child was going to go to school?

 

[cdogzena1]

Then you lied to us. YOU agreed to private school last year and the court usually continues with that until a court order changes it. HE did not unilaterally enroll the child. YOU agreed to it. You get to pay half the private school bill.

I told him several months ago that I could not afford private school. You have no idea what type of person he is.

 

[cdogzena1]

You unfortunately put yourself in a bad position for this year by agreeing to private school last year. You now don't get to just change your mind.

I do have to kind of wonder, though... Why have you waited this long to address the situation. You must have known tuition would be an issue well before now - school starts in two weeks - where did you think the child was going to go to school?

I told him in June that I could not afford private school. He is the one that insists on it. Both him and his new wife have good jobs and can afford the tuition if that is what he insists on. He is not doing this for the child. He does not interact with the child when he has him. His mother and new wife are the only ones that make time for him. He is only doing this to hurt me. You have no idea what type of person he is.

 

[cdogzena1]

Then you lied to us. YOU agreed to private school last year and the court usually continues with that until a court order changes it. HE did not unilaterally enroll the child. YOU agreed to it. You get to pay half the private school bill.

I did not lie! I am sorry if you don't know the whole situation. I am trying to put out there pertinent facts but I may not get them all out there. These are just a couple of things that happened a couple of years ago: He sent my grandmother an email threatening to blow his brains out in my car. He has no compassion for anyone. If you have ever met a manipulative person, he is that times 10.

 

[cdogzena1]

The problem is, OP is taking NO RESPONSIBILITY. SHE AGREED to the child going to private school. Now she has to go back to court to get the child's schooling switched. Why? Because she agreed. She is not trying to change her mind and get things different. With joint legal custody, things continue the way they were (status quo, meaning the child continues in private school) until the parties agree otherwise OR a court orders otherwise.

I realize this will probably have to go to court but I was just hoping to get some advice. I can understand what you are saying but how am I supposed to pay with no job???

 

[Silverplum]

I realize this will probably have to go to court but I was just hoping to get some advice. I can understand what you are saying but how am I supposed to pay with no job???

Defer school. You have a child now.

 

[cdogzena1]

Defer school. You have a child now.

I am going to nursing school and graduate in April 2015. I am doing this for my child and myself. I cannot support us on minimum wage.

 

[stealth2]

I am going to nursing school and graduate in April 2015. I am doing this for my child and myself. I cannot support us on minimum wage.

I'm not trying to be mean, but you're not supporting your child (financially) at this point. Who is? Your ex's wife is in no way responsible for providing for your child. Nor are your parents or grandparents. That is on you and Dad.

You made a HUGE mistake in agreeing to private school - one that will not be easily (eta nor quickly - certainly not by the start of school) fixed. You really do need a laywer, tho it seems you don't have the means to pay one...

 

[commentator]

Then stand firm. Refuse to pay your half of the tuition costs. Let him take you to court. Continue with your school. It sounds like you waffle as soon as he comes at you, and that you desperately need a good attorney to counsel you IF he does follow through with his threat to take you to court if he doesn't get half the money from you, when he can plainly see you don't have half to give him. You're making yourself and your family pay for your total lack of ability to stand up for what is reasonable in the face of his drama.

Do not let your financial situation excuse you from getting good legal counsel on these life changing issues! As for "you don't know what he's like" Oh yes, I'd say many of us here on this site have gone a hard school with this type of person. And all we can say is get the legal system behind you, be firm, and do not reward his drama with compliance and avoidance of the conflict he loves to generate to bully you.

Come on, you're a grown up, you should know he can't just "get your child put in foster care" and all these other things you say he is threatening. You are wanting desperately to avoid conflict, when you agree to do whatever he demands along with his silly threats you salve the problem over for a few minutes, but then you are stuck with the results of this behavior, which is that he gets what he wants and you are properly cowed and try to borrow the money from your family.