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  1. #1
    sland is offline Junior Member
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    Prove parent unfit

    What is the name of your state? CA. I have finally decided to divorce my husband with whom we have 3 children. He is bipolar and does not take medication and is getting increasingly mentally abusive and has stepped over the line once with pushing and grabbing me. (stupidly I did not call the cops- no marks anyway) How do I prove that he is an unfit parent? I could not leave the children with him for long and I don't want him out of their lives I just want him stable and on meds. That has not happend for six years so I am not holding my breath. Right now the children hardly ever see him. He leaves for work and then goes out at night. Even when he can see them he doesn't. He yells at them and threatens to beat the **** out of them. He split our oldest sons lip once when he smacked his mouth for saying a bad word. Only people that know are me, husband, son and my parents - which are totally biased. Any advice would be helpful. I would like full physical and legal custody but I would like my kids to be able to see their dad for short visits (long ones would get my hsuband to aggrevated)
  2. #2
    ceara19 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sland
    What is the name of your state? CA. I have finally decided to divorce my husband with whom we have 3 children. He is bipolar and does not take medication and is getting increasingly mentally abusive and has stepped over the line once with pushing and grabbing me. (stupidly I did not call the cops- no marks anyway) How do I prove that he is an unfit parent? I could not leave the children with him for long and I don't want him out of their lives I just want him stable and on meds. That has not happend for six years so I am not holding my breath. Right now the children hardly ever see him. He leaves for work and then goes out at night. Even when he can see them he doesn't. He yells at them and threatens to beat the **** out of them. He split our oldest sons lip once when he smacked his mouth for saying a bad word. Only people that know are me, husband, son and my parents - which are totally biased. Any advice would be helpful. I would like full physical and legal custody but I would like my kids to be able to see their dad for short visits (long ones would get my hsuband to aggrevated)
    You will need tangible, physical PROOF that he is a danger to the children. The judge will not just take you at your word. It's not a matter of him DISPROVING the allegations. You can walk into court and say pretty much whatever you want to about his behaviour. But unless you have an acceptable way to back up your claims, it's pointless to even bring it up.
  3. #3
    NoDiggety Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by sland
    How do I prove that he is an unfit parent?
    You don't. This is a legal advice site. You are not going to be told how to strip someone's constitutionally-protected parental rights. Even more since you have to ask.
  4. #4
    ceara19 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoDiggety
    You don't. This is a legal advice site. You are not going to be told how to strip someone's constitutionally-protected parental rights. Even more since you have to ask.
    Actually, no one will tell her how to fabricate evidence in order to keep dad away.
  5. #5
    sland is offline Junior Member
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    I have no intention of fabricating anything. What I do want to know is do I need to supenoa medical records and if so how far back? Also he had another custody case in which he lost a while ago and a therapist and lawyer for the child both wrote in legal documents that he was unstable, a threat to the child, etc. Would copies of that help or is it irrelevant? Also would friends of his testifying that he is bipolar and not medicated and has made statements about feeling violent toward me and the kids and wanting to put a bullet in his head help or is it irrelevant also?
  6. #6
    Zephyr is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sland
    I have no intention of fabricating anything. What I do want to know is do I need to supenoa medical records and if so how far back? Also he had another custody case in which he lost a while ago and a therapist and lawyer for the child both wrote in legal documents that he was unstable, a threat to the child, etc. Would copies of that help or is it irrelevant? Also would friends of his testifying that he is bipolar and not medicated and has made statements about feeling violent toward me and the kids and wanting to put a bullet in his head help or is it irrelevant also?
    unless the friends are dr's their diagnosis of him is worthless
  7. #7
    casa is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sland
    I have no intention of fabricating anything. What I do want to know is do I need to supenoa medical records and if so how far back? Also he had another custody case in which he lost a while ago and a therapist and lawyer for the child both wrote in legal documents that he was unstable, a threat to the child, etc. Would copies of that help or is it irrelevant? Also would friends of his testifying that he is bipolar and not medicated and has made statements about feeling violent toward me and the kids and wanting to put a bullet in his head help or is it irrelevant also?
    If they are willing to sign declarations and file them in court, then yes, his friends saying he heard him make threats to you & the children WILL be relevant. How relevant will depend. In CA contested custody goes to mediation~ You want any/all documents filed prior to mediation or the mediator can't consider them.

    The fact that he's already lost custody prior due to professionals stating he is unstable~ Will work in your favor....and you should include those facts in your original post. You'll need to notify the court in your petition/declarations (& also notify the mediator). You don't say how long ago this occurred~ If it's a number of years, it won't help~ If it's recent enough, it will help.

    Contact the Family Law Facilitator's office in your local court for help with how to file if you are unable to hire an attorney.
  8. #8
    casa is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zephyr
    unless the friends are dr's their diagnosis of him is worthless
    Actually in CA sworn 'declarations' do carry some weight in court, especially if they are from people associated with the other party. There is an assumed bias for OPs friends/family...but less so with the soon-to-be-X's family/friends. It's often enough to get at least the mediator to contact those people &/or the court to consent to any petitions for a GAL, CASA or Minor's Attorney.
  9. #9
    ceara19 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sland
    I have no intention of fabricating anything. What I do want to know is do I need to supenoa medical records and if so how far back? Also he had another custody case in which he lost a while ago and a therapist and lawyer for the child both wrote in legal documents that he was unstable, a threat to the child, etc. Would copies of that help or is it irrelevant? Also would friends of his testifying that he is bipolar and not medicated and has made statements about feeling violent toward me and the kids and wanting to put a bullet in his head help or is it irrelevant also?
    Has he been diagnosed with any kind of mental illness by a doctor? Even if you can get testimony from friends and family admitted into evidence, without a medical professional to interpret the behaviour as "bipolar", the testimony is nothing more then an observation on the part of the witness.

    As casa pointed out, HIS friends and family would be more believable on the stand. The problem is, someone willing to lie on the stand about his "behaviour" would probably not have a problem lying about the type of relationship that they have with him.

    Do you have ANY evidence from a completely unbiased third party?
  10. #10
    sland is offline Junior Member
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    I have a therapist that we saw around two years ago that stated that she knew he was bipolar. Actually she was a dr. but could not prescribe medication. he is going to another dr. on Mon., but I don't know who that is. I could probably get some of his old medical records but they are from approx. 1 year ago when he was getting his meds. I know our pediatrician might have some sort of opinion but he doesn't she him that much. Other then that I don't know.
  11. #11
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sland
    I have a therapist that we saw around two years ago that stated that she knew he was bipolar. Actually she was a dr. but could not prescribe medication. he is going to another dr. on Mon., but I don't know who that is. I could probably get some of his old medical records but they are from approx. 1 year ago when he was getting his meds. I know our pediatrician might have some sort of opinion but he doesn't she him that much. Other then that I don't know.
    I don't think so! You can't just fling HIS medical records about like flyers for the junior high dance!
  12. #12
    sland is offline Junior Member
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    Ya I figured I would have to get a subeona or subenoa the dr. or something but would it even be worth it if it was like a year ago?
  13. #13
    BelizeBreeze is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sland
    I have a therapist that we saw around two years ago that stated that she knew he was bipolar. Actually she was a dr. but could not prescribe medication. he is going to another dr. on Mon., but I don't know who that is. I could probably get some of his old medical records but they are from approx. 1 year ago when he was getting his meds. I know our pediatrician might have some sort of opinion but he doesn't she him that much. Other then that I don't know.
    you have no legal right to HIS medical records and any physician who would give them to you can loose their license.

    From reading your posts it seems you are indeed attempting to, if not fabricate, then manufacture a history from two years ago.
  14. #14
    ceara19 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sland
    I have a therapist that we saw around two years ago that stated that she knew he was bipolar. Actually she was a dr. but could not prescribe medication. he is going to another dr. on Mon., but I don't know who that is. I could probably get some of his old medical records but they are from approx. 1 year ago when he was getting his meds. I know our pediatrician might have some sort of opinion but he doesn't she him that much. Other then that I don't know.
    If this "therapist" could not prescribe MEDICATION, then she is NOT a MEDICAL doctor and as such, she cannot make a MEDICAL diagnosis. Having a PhD does not qualify a person to PRACTICE medicine (just like watching Law & Order does NOT qualify a person to practice law). Your pediatrician's OPINION of him is no more useful then MY opinion of him unless your ex is a PATIENT of the pediatrician in question.

    A judge will not issue a subpoena for your ex's medical records without good cause. YOUR opinion of your ex is NOT going to cut it. You don't even have enough to get an order for a psych evaluation at this point. If you bring up unsubstantiated accusations now, the judge will be much less likely to believe you if you ever do come up with something tangible.

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