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Proving an unfit mother

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1

11/22

Guest
We live in Ohio. Currently, the 13 year old boy lives with his mother. The boy as Asperger's syndrome (a form of Autism). We feel he is not being taken care of properly and that there may be some drug use or traffic in the home. Since the boy has Asperber's, he is unreliable and cannot say exactly what is happening in his home. How do we prove she in incapable of properly caring for this child?
Facts:
1. His mother does not help with nor provide an environment where the boy can do his homework.
2. His mother has caused him to miss school or be late on numerous occasions.
3. His mother suffers from ADD - although not documented
4. His mother lives with a 24 year old man (she is 47)

Because of his mother's condition, the child feels he must stay with her to protect her and take care of her. What can we do?
His father has joint custody, although the mother is the residential parent.
 


tigger22472

Senior Member
First off my son too was diagnosed with Asperger's Sydrome when he was three. However he is no longer on medication and is 8 now and does great in school so there is hope. Secondly in order to prove her unfit you need to get the school records for his absentism and tardiness. As far as an environment for him to do his homework... your idea and her idea of a proper place may be different and it'll be hard to prove her to be wrong. I personally believe alot of grown adults suffer from ADD... I being one of them. I've had my sons dr ask me if I've been checked before. However, my children are well taken care of so again that alone would be hard to prove unless you have evidence that she in some way harms the child. And as for your last one... just by that statement alone it will get you NO WHERE. You have to prove that the man is a danger to your child and that she willing knows this. If you feel you have enough evidence then by all means do what you feel is right for your child but you'll need to run it by a lawyer because as I said your ideas and hers may differ and it doesn't make either of you a worse parent. If a lawyer thinks you have a case then do what you can and file a petition for custody.
 
K

kellygirl7

Guest
The things you have listed do not sound serious enough to me to warrant "unfit mother" status. If you had reported she was physically or sexually abusing him, living in a home without electricity or heat, didn't feed him, etc., that would be different. The age of her boyfriend has no bearing on anything, the fact that she has ADD is certainly not her fault. If you honestly think she is trafficking drugs, call the police and report her. The rest will fall into place.

As for the school, how much has he missed and why? Was he sick? Is he late because of traffic? The amount of school missed would have to be pretty excessive.
 
T

treici

Guest
Hi. This thread got my attention when you mentined Asperger's. My son is almost three and is also "on the spectrum." He is non-verbal and has lots of sensory issues. Although I don't think that you have much to go on at this point, I would be sure to start getting copies of all the school and medical records now.

Look at:

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody

There are form letters there for obtaining records. I think the big things to focus on are amount of days missed and tardies, and his grades in general. Do they go from good to bad suddenly and around what time frame, what happened during that time frame that could affect his progress....Does he have an IEP or is he in general education classes? If he has an IEP is it being followed and how are both parents involved in implementing the program? (this doesn't help if dad isn't involved though) Medical records, what sorts of therapies have been recommended for him, does he attend sessions? How is his progress?

I don't think who she is living with means much of anything unless there is a history of abuse or you can prove without a shadow of a doubt that there is drug trafficking and that the child is exposed to it.

Document EVERYTHING!

HTH
 

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