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  1. #1
    cjmess53 is offline Junior Member
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    putting father on birth certificate

    What is the name of your state? North Carolina

    I am writing on behalf of my daughter. To put it plainly, she is afraid that if she puts the name of the father on the birth certificate that if she so much as chews her food wrong the father's parents (not so much the dad) will try to take custody of her 21 month old son. The father of the child has been in jail (3 mos. only) and the grandparents are a little rough around the edges. ALL of there four children have been arrested at least once. One other has been in jail. The reason I bring this up is that my daughter doesn't get any continuous child support from the baby's father. His idea of support is to buy diapers and toys for the baby. The grandparents also buy things. My daughter could take advantage of alot of benefits here in NC IF she named him. She is just so paranoid about this whole issue. If she names him she can get food stamps, child care, schooling, etc. She is a good mother. She takes her son everywhere. She does get overwhelmed; who wouldn't. She just doesn't want to be constantly scrutinized by the baby's father's parents. It's not really him that she is worried about. It's the grandparents making waves. Any comments to ease her mind???
  2. #2
    LdiJ is online now Senior Member
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    May 2004
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    65,095
    Quote Originally Posted by cjmess53
    What is the name of your state? North Carolina

    I am writing on behalf of my daughter. To put it plainly, she is afraid that if she puts the name of the father on the birth certificate that if she so much as chews her food wrong the father's parents (not so much the dad) will try to take custody of her 21 month old son. The father of the child has been in jail (3 mos. only) and the grandparents are a little rough around the edges. ALL of there four children have been arrested at least once. One other has been in jail. The reason I bring this up is that my daughter doesn't get any continuous child support from the baby's father. His idea of support is to buy diapers and toys for the baby. The grandparents also buy things. My daughter could take advantage of alot of benefits here in NC IF she named him. She is just so paranoid about this whole issue. If she names him she can get food stamps, child care, schooling, etc. She is a good mother. She takes her son everywhere. She does get overwhelmed; who wouldn't. She just doesn't want to be constantly scrutinized by the baby's father's parents. It's not really him that she is worried about. It's the grandparents making waves. Any comments to ease her mind???
    If she files to establish paternity (which is what she has to do) then dad is going to end up with with an order for child support. That of course is going to make dad and his parents angry, and dad will of course file for visitation/custody....or his parents will make him do it.

    So your daughter is correct that there would be a risk. Of course, dad can file himself at any time, so her decision not to do so doesn't really protect her. She is also wrong to be so afraid of the grandparents....at least from a legal standpoint. They have no rights regarding her child, and they would have to prove both her and their son legally unfit in order to obtain custody.

    Unless your daughter is a drug abuser, an alcoholic, a child abuser or neglecter or has other serious problems (or has her child around other people who are)...she is not going to be considered to be unfit.

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