Quality of visitations

[jdsgirl77]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Vermont

Does anyone know of any cases where it has been proven that visitaions between children and non custodial parents that live in seperate states can be sucessfull? I am planning to move out of state (providing I get judges permission) and my ex is saying that having one week of christmas vacation, 1 week spring break, and 6 weeks summer vacation, on top of video calls 3 times a week is not quality, and that no parent can have a relationship with their child with that. I am just looking for any cases, or articles that show parent/child visitation like this that has been sucessful.
Thank you.

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Vermont

Does anyone know of any cases where it has been proven that visitaions between children and non custodial parents that live in seperate states can be sucessfull? I am planning to move out of state (providing I get judges permission) and my ex is saying that having one week of christmas vacation, 1 week spring break, and 6 weeks summer vacation, on top of video calls 3 times a week is not quality, and that no parent can have a relationship with their child with that. I am just looking for any cases, or articles that show parent/child visitation like this that has been sucessful.
Thank you.

I happen to think your ex is right.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

There are many instances where it is successful. Where it becomes a problem, is when you have overbearing or selfish ex's, that do not understand that coparenting requires cooperation.

 

[jdsgirl77]

My ex has one hour a week supervised visits, he lost any custody rights to his child when he got drunk and into a car accident with her. So, while he may be "right", the week long visits that I am proposing ( to still be supervised by a family member of his) is still better than the hour long visit he gets with her now.

 

[Antigone*]

My ex has one hour a week supervised visits, he lost any custody rights to his child when he got drunk and into a car accident with her. So, while he may be "right", the week long visits that I am proposing ( to still be supervised by a family member of his) is still better than the hour long visit he gets with her now.

So say you.

I cannot believe that you are willing to allow a man who endangered his daughter to have her for six weeks at a time while you are states away. You are in a difficult position ~ you must foster the relationship between your daughter and her father. At the same point in time you must protect her.

Since you decided to become a mom, you wishes, wants and desires no longer come first. What comes first is the raising and parenting of your little girl. I cannot see how you can achieve both when you are states away in your situation.

 

[CJane]

My ex has one hour a week supervised visits, he lost any custody rights to his child when he got drunk and into a car accident with her. So, while he may be "right", the week long visits that I am proposing ( to still be supervised by a family member of his) is still better than the hour long visit he gets with her now.

This is why you should keep all of your questions together.

Generally speaking, if you are offering him MORE time with the child than he has now, and MORE contact (via Skype or whatever), then you might be able to show it's in kiddo's best interests to move.

Also, the ONLY way a judge can deny a relocation is if that judge is willing to give the other parent custody. This is because the courts cannot force YOU to live anywhere. They can only force the CHILD to live in a location. So a judge HAS TO allow YOU to relocate but CAN change custody to the non-relocating parent.

In your case, that doesn't seem terribly likely.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Vermont

Does anyone know of any cases where it has been proven that visitaions between children and non custodial parents that live in seperate states can be sucessfull? I am planning to move out of state (providing I get judges permission) and my ex is saying that having one week of christmas vacation, 1 week spring break, and 6 weeks summer vacation, on top of video calls 3 times a week is not quality, and that no parent can have a relationship with their child with that. I am just looking for any cases, or articles that show parent/child visitation like this that has been sucessful.
Thank you.

Well, lots of people have successful relationships with their children living in different states. However, you certainly aren't going to find any case law on that subject (because it comes after the case is finished) and I don't recall seeing anything to speak of in the way of articles or studies.

However, try googling "long distance relationships with children" and see what shows up.

 

[mistoffolees]

Well, lots of people have successful relationships with their children living in different states. However, you certainly aren't going to find any case law on that subject (because it comes after the case is finished) and I don't recall seeing anything to speak of in the way of articles or studies.

However, try googling "long distance relationships with children" and see what shows up.

I agree. There's absolutely no reason that someone can't have a relationship with a child from a distance and with only a handful of face to face visits. It clearly creates some difficulty and will make it harder to have a close relationship with the child, but it's not impossible.

Regular Skype 'visits' will help. The biggest thing that will help is parents who have a mature attitude toward the situation and work to make it as easy on the child as possible.

 

[LdiJ]

This is why you should keep all of your questions together.

Generally speaking, if you are offering him MORE time with the child than he has now, and MORE contact (via Skype or whatever), then you might be able to show it's in kiddo's best interests to move.

Also, the ONLY way a judge can deny a relocation is if that judge is willing to give the other parent custody. This is because the courts cannot force YOU to live anywhere. They can only force the CHILD to live in a location. So a judge HAS TO allow YOU to relocate but CAN change custody to the non-relocating parent.

In your case, that doesn't seem terribly likely.

I certainly agree. The odds of a judge willing to give custody to a parent who is currently allowed only 1 hour a week supervised visits would be slim to none. Therefore the judge won't be able to deny the relocation.

 

[snuffleupagus]

I'm a CP with a slightly better schedule than what you suggest. And it has done nothing to enhance our kids relationship with their other parent. You need to rethink your plan.

 

[Proserpina]

So say you.

I cannot believe that you are willing to allow a man who endangered his daughter to have her for six weeks at a time while you are states away. You are in a difficult position ~ you must foster the relationship between your daughter and her father. At the same point in time you must protect her.

Doing so may open the door to Dad actually getting some sort of custody back, too.

Or on the other side of the coin Mom allowing unsupervised visitation may - just may - be considered a "failure to protect".

 

[Antigone*]

Doing so may open the door to Dad actually getting some sort of custody back, too.

Or on the other side of the coin Mom allowing unsupervised visitation may - just may - be considered a "failure to protect".

My point exactly

 

[CJane]

Doing so may open the door to Dad actually getting some sort of custody back, too.

Or on the other side of the coin Mom allowing unsupervised visitation may - just may - be considered a "failure to protect".

Except she stated that the proposal includes supervision.

 

[Antigone*]

Except she stated that the proposal includes supervision.

Yup, she did. HIS family member

 

[LdiJ]

Yup, she did. HIS family member

We cannot assume that everybody's family members would do a poor job supervising. Its true that some do not do a good job, but we cannot assume that they all would do a bad job. After all, family member's being supervisors is something that we tend to encourage.