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question? regarding fathers rights

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crystalkat80

Guest
What is the name of your state? Colorado


My name is Crystal and i am writing with a question about what i can do to help my finace. His ex wife has had "sole" custody with supervised visatations , these vistatations being myslef and my fiance have his two daughters every friday thru monday. Well this past month has been a weird month and things have been happening were we are out of town.....So the ex decides she will start threatening that he will never see his daughters again and that she will get more money from him for child support...Oh with the child support he pays an extremly high amount because she told the state that he abbandoned his daughters and has nothing to do with them.
The thing is she has full custody and see's her daughters about as often as we do , by shipping them to there grandparents on the weekends that we are gone and maybe spends 5 or so hours a week with them, she doesn't even know her daughters.
So my question is what should my finace do, he is paid over what he owes for child support and she is saying that colorado favors mothers and she will get what she wants. I know i can go to court and say something but being his finace i will get no were i love his daughters and want what is best for them , without there father they would be struggling in school (she doesn't have involvment with there school work) and they would feel negelgated, THEY CAN TALK FREELY WITH US AND ARE COMFRTABLE WITH US.......SO WHAT SHOULD WE DO....


I CAN SEND A COPY OF THE EMAIL SHE WROTE MY FINACE STATING HER THREATS
 


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4gals1guy

Guest
1. Your boyfriend has visitation. Not you.
2. If the court-ordered visitation is supposed to be Friday through Monday, then that's when it should be. Doesn't matter how "weird" the month gets.
3. If he feels like he's paying too much in support, he should hire a lawyer and go back to court.
4. You don't have a say in court. This is between your boyfriend and his ex.
5. If she send the kids to grandma's during her time (or when your ex doesn't show up), that's her business, and right to do so.
6. Don't worry about her threats. If your ex is doing what he's supposed to be doing (paying and visiting according to a court order), the courts won't take away his rights.
7. It's ironic you're even concerned about their schooling, since you appear to be illiterate yourself.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Your fiance isn't going to have much say about how the mother spends her time with the kids - especially when it is time that he is apparently supposed to be spending time with them. Since he has supervised visitation - it's really pretty important that he take that time *every* time unless it's an emergency (and like I tell my kids - unless you're bleeding or about to throw up - it ain't an emergency). Otherwise a court is going to figure it's not really all that important to him.
 
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crystalkat80

Guest
you don't get it......she has taken away all his rights and still expects him to pick trhemup cause she is a lazy worthless $^&^%
she says that he is irresponsable and that he has nothing to do with his daughters....he has " supervised" visdatations.....which you both don't seem to relize she has him pick them up every friday thru monday...meaning sh ei sbreaking the law....because the decree was that he was to have them never and only when she was around.....she say that is doesn't have time for them...but she only has them hum 3 days every two weeks cause she wants to go out an party.....so rightfully my finace should not have them at all.....but he wants to have custody where tohe state knows he has somehting to do with his daughters and he is not paying 800 a month child support cause she had a court day set when she knew he was going to be gone to Californai for a month at weork then told the state she had let him know and by him not showing up she got what she wanted/.....he was never told about the court date......and this is my business this the man i am spending the rest of my life with and ilove his daughters and there mother is no good for them....so if you are the mothers of some kidsa that the father walked out on i am sorry but my finace is not that person
 
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crystalkat80

Guest
and misss 4gals 1guy....... who the hell are u......a white trash chic please they are called typos i have a 4 year degree and have a great career .....and you should keep your damn mouth shut unless you have something worthwhile to say......I am sorry if you are the chic whos ex left here with 12 kids and she has never had one penny sent to her...ok.....I am siding with my finace becuase i know the whole situation and there are as many worthless mothers out there as there is worthless fathers...it's not my fault one father started a bad name for all fathers out there......so please keep your mouth shut , you may ask more questions, but unless you know you only look ignorant saying anything....
 
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crystalkat80

Guest
and i do have say since when he finally gets full custody ....they will be under my watch most of the time since...he works out of state alot, also i will be in the court on his side..You don't get ask like i had statted before...this isn't a situation where the mother is being taken advatage of,
the was forced to pay child support as if he had nothing to do with his daughters........
having them more than 50 % of the time with out being able to go to court untill all the child support he shouldn't be paying is payed up....
she also treating alamony ( he doesn't make that much more than her) so she can stay home.....while still sending the girls to an after school progem till 6pm where she picks them up and sometimes forget to pick them and they go home eat and go to bed.....
she has left them by them selves numous times in the last couple years at night so she can go out......
she calls my finaces mother or his ex girlfriend to watch them so she can go out with one of the 70 guys she brings home and dates a month......
i really don't know why anyone would side with her.....she has figured out how to work the system and screw my fiance over
 

ellencee

Senior Member
well, um, with that being said, I think I can still filter out the real questions.

your fiance needs to go back to court and seek unsupervised visitation as he can show that's what he's had all along. he even has the right to seek joint or full custody. he can address the child support issues either in this action or in a separate action, depending on the court's desire.

what the mother does (sending them to grandparents), is in the eyes of the court, not a problem and not yours or your finance's concern. look at it this way, the grandparents are good for the kids and the kids apparently need some good people to love and nurture them.

as infuriating as it seems to be to 'stepmoms', the law does not recognize your opinions or beliefs or feelings. that doesn't mean that all these other stepmoms who post here don't agree with you--they do; they share in your anger and frustration. but, the law doesn't and you're in a legal situation, so you're going to have to accept that.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I assume you mean fiance and not finance.

The only reply I have to you is this. I don't think I was rude to you. If you want *my* input - you can quit being rude to me.

The long and the short of it is:

(a) We can only go by the info you posted - not what's in your head.

(b) You are not related to these children and legally you have no say.

(c) Your "feelings" have nothing to do with the law.

(d) please tell me where you went to college so I can make sure my kids don't go there. Typos don't usually occur over and over and over the same way.
 

ktarra617

Member
crystal if you really want to help your fiance then first off you need to step back from situation. I know that this is not what you want to hear but here is the truth of the situation.

They are your fiance's children, not yours and never will be.

It is up to your fiance to file for a reduction in cs and for custody.

The court does not now and never will care about your position, your opinion or what YOU have been through with this situation.
They will only be concerned about the father, the mother and the kids.

So in truth this is not YOUR situation it is HIS. This is what you chose to live with by choosing to share your life with a man with children and a bitch for an ex wife.

Now with that said if you really want to help him. I am speaking from experience here so please listen.

First off you get off the soap box and put the emotions aside. I do know how hard that can be.

Then you can assist your fiance in getting all documents that he needs. Write letters for him to the schools, the drs anyone that would have records for the children. Make sure he is the one who signs these letters anything with your signature is not going to count. They don't have to release any kind of information to you.

Then send these certified mail return reciept requested that way they can't say they didn't get them.

Next document everything and I know you said you are and that's good. Keep it up.

Get a list of witnesses together to present to an attorney as people who are willing to get up in court and testify as to what they have seen and heard.

Get a witness to start going with him to pick up his girls to show that mom is breaking her own rules.

Start taping conversations with her find out if your state is a one party or two party state and then go from there.

I know you are mad and pissed off right now but coming on here yelling and calling names is not going to help your situation. We dont' mind you venting but please keep it civil.

I am sorry that this is not what you want to hear but the truth is that you as a future stepmom have no rights in this situation and never will. the court doesn't care about you and they never will.

I am both a custodial mom and a step mom I know from whence I speak.

Your best avenue is to just calm down and help your fiance find a good attorney and follow their advice to the letter.

Good Luck to you both.
 
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crystalkat80

Guest
I KNOW HOW TO SPELL I AM TYPING WHILE I WORK AND INBETWEEN TALKING WITH MY CLIENTS..AND I WENT TO UCONN OK....AND ONCE THOSE CHILDREN ARE WITH US FULL TIME FULL CUSTODY... I WILL GO THROUGH WITH ADOPTING THEM ,,THANK YOU VERY MUCH
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
You will only adopt them if the mother agrees to give up her rights - not just 'cause you want to. UConn, huh. Thanks.
 
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crystalkat80

Guest
DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW FAR BACK THEY WILL GO WITH RECORDS OF NEGLECT? WHAT I AM ASKING IS MY FINACE HAS NOTEBOOKS FILLED WITH TIMES WHEN THINGS WERE HAPPENING WHILE HE WAS AWAY AND SHE WOULD LEAVE THE CHILDREN BY THEM SELVES AND ALSO ship them away everyday to his ex girlsfriends and her parents, yes myself i profer that the girls are with there Grandparents but proving that wthey are never with her is what matters. I am wondering since this takes place over the last 5 years is things that were writen down say....4 years ago going to be vaild in court..... and his attoney the best attoney in Colorado Mike Brown for custody isssues say that he wants me to speak in court cause i dela with there mother more than he does....i make arrangements and i do any interaction between herself and him. wehn dealing with the girls.
 
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crystalkat80

Guest
with the adoption thing ....it depends on the sate my stepfather adopted me without my father giving up any rights thank you....
 

ktarra617

Member
first off the only way you can adopt them is if one the courts terminate mom's rights to the kids which is not likely or mom willingly gives up her rights to the kids. Which doesn't sound likely either.

Just because the kids may be better off living with your fiance doesn't mean that mom is not good enough to be in their lives.

So as a suggestion I wouldn't get to comfy with the idea of adopting them because as long as mom is not abusive or endangering their lives then the court is not going to terminate her rights to her children which means you won't be able to adopt them.

I think you better get used to the idea of being a stepmom.

The lawyer can have you speak but the court is not going to forget how you portray yourself nor how you portray the children's mother.

The court will also keep in mind who the mother is. Not who wants to be mom.

Harsh words, I know but this is a harsh situation.

btw to my knowledge there is no limitation on how far documentation can go back. Its just going to depend on the judge and your state statutes. that's why you get an attorney. He can tell you all this stuff and more.
 

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