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Question regarding late pick up by non custodial parent - VA

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fordman418

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

I am the non custodial parent. Court order stated pick up on Friday at 7pm with drop off on Sunday at 4pm.

I called the custodial parent today to advise I would be late picking up the kids for the weekend. I told her I would be there by 9pm. I just started a new job and it's hard to take off early. My typical work day is 130-10pm but can leave a little early for this.

Custodial parent agreed when we talked earlier. Then she called back and said she was not letting me have the kids unless I was there at 7pm.

I know I can file a show cause if she doesn't let me pick the kids up. I don't see how she can not let me pick them up. I thought it was that the kids were to be ready from 7p - Sunday at 4 for me to pick up. I always call. This would be the first time I would be picking up late since the court order. Thanks!
 
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Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

I am the non custodial parent. Court order stated pick up on Friday at 7pm with drop off on Sunday at 4pm.

I called the custodial parent today to advise I would be late picking up the kids for the weekend. I told her I would be there by 9pm. I just started a new job and it's hard to take off early. My typical work day is 130-10pm but can leave a little early for this.

Custodial parent agreed when we talked earlier. Then she called back and said she was not letting me have the kids unless I was there at 7pm.

I know I can file a show cause if she doesn't let me pick the kids up. I don't see how she can not let me pick them up. I thought it was that the kids were to be ready from 7p - Sunday at 4 for me to pick up. I always call. This would be the first time I would be picking up late since the court order. Thanks!


It really depends on the actual wording of your order. Does it say anything about forfeiting the whole weekend if you don't pick up the kids by X hour?
 

fordman418

Junior Member
Court order reads: "Father shall have visitation with the children from Friday at 7:00pm until Sunday at 4:00pm. Father shall have two non consective weeks of visitation during the summer. He shall notify Mother of th edates of these weeks in writing by May 15, of each year********************************************************.."

Nothing is written that I would forfeit my weekend if I am late.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Court order reads: "Father shall have visitation with the children from Friday at 7:00pm until Sunday at 4:00pm. Father shall have two non consective weeks of visitation during the summer. He shall notify Mother of th edates of these weeks in writing by May 15, of each year********************************************************.."

Nothing is written that I would forfeit my weekend if I am late.
I might have some suggestions but answer the following question: Is mom just flat out trying to deny your weekend, or does mom really need you to pick up the children at 7 pm because she has plans, or are your children very young and normally in bed by 9 pm?
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I might have some suggestions but answer the following question: Is mom just flat out trying to deny your weekend, or does mom really need you to pick up the children at 7 pm because she has plans, or are your children very young and normally in bed by 9 pm?
Normally in bed doesn't necessarily matter at all. As for mom having plans, if she had plans and would need care for the children, dad could work with her or pick them up from the babysitter. That is not that difficult.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Normally in bed doesn't necessarily matter at all. As for mom having plans, if she had plans and would need care for the children, dad could work with her or pick them up from the babysitter. That is not that difficult.
I was going to make suggestions based on the actual situation.
 

fordman418

Junior Member
I was going to make suggestions based on the actual situation.[/QUOTE

Custodial parent doesn't work. She doesn't want to be bothered with me picking them up late. The kids will not be bed at 9pm.

It's the fact that she wants to control the issue. I have to work in order to pay child support. Missed hours means less money for my kids.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
What is your question? What are you trying to accomplish?

Are you trying to force mom to wait the two extra hours? If she doesn't allow you to pick up the kids, then your option is to head to court to ask that she be held in contempt. But, you already know that...
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I was going to make suggestions based on the actual situation.[/QUOTE

Custodial parent doesn't work. She doesn't want to be bothered with me picking them up late. The kids will not be bed at 9pm.

It's the fact that she wants to control the issue. I have to work in order to pay child support. Missed hours means less money for my kids.

Unless you have had a particularly contentious coparenting relationship with mom, her reasons are likely to be a bit more than "doesn't want to be bothered". What about working your entire shift and then picking them up bright and early Saturday morning? Or, is there a family member of yours who could pick them up at 7pm? Its difficult to give suggestions without the full picture.
 

CSO286

Senior Member
Custodial parent doesn't work. She doesn't want to be bothered with me picking them up late. The kids will not be bed at 9pm.

It's the fact that she wants to control the issue. I have to work in order to pay child support. Missed hours means less money for my kids.
How old are these kids?

9 pm really doesn't seem that late, espcially now that it's summer and school's out......
 

tuffbrk

Senior Member
How old are these kids?

9 pm really doesn't seem that late, espcially now that it's summer and school's out......
School being out is varied. I don't know if VA is out by now or not. I know in NJ they still have school for another month.
 

CJane

Senior Member
Are holiday weekends addressed in your parenting plan?

Are you sure this is your holiday?

Are you sure Mom doesn't have plans to leave town for the holiday weekend?

I find it hard to believe that she just said "You know what, scr*w it. If you're not here at exactly 7pm, I'm keeping the kids for the whole weekend, and I don't care how you OR they feel about it!!!!"

Kind of a stretch.
 

SESmama

Member
I am thinking a plan change might be better. If your new job has you working different hours than when the order was put into place maybe you and mom should talk about changing the parenting schedule as this seems it will be a continued issue if you are already arguing over it.

Perhaps suggest a Saturday morning to Monday morning. YOU would be responsible for getting them to school though. And when school does start, depending on the ages, etc, 9pm may be a little late?
 

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