Question regarding vacation and holiday

[stepmomndad]

What is the name of your state? PA

My ex gave me the dates for her vacation time for the summer. This year, she gets my daughter for the 4th of July. She gets two weeks vacation during the summer (my custodial period). She told me she wants to take her week vacation and her weekend together. She wants to take June 29 to July 10. She said that since she has July 4, she gets to tack an additional day on to her weekend/vacation.

Our CO states that holiday takes precedence over vacation over weekend. Is this right? Does she get an additional day? Her vacation would end on July 6 and then her weekend would end July 9 (normally).

TIA for info!

 

[moburkes]

What is the name of your state? PA

My ex gave me the dates for her vacation time for the summer. This year, she gets my daughter for the 4th of July. She gets two weeks vacation during the summer (my custodial period). She told me she wants to take her week vacation and her weekend together. She wants to take June 29 to July 10. She said that since she has July 4, she gets to tack an additional day on to her weekend/vacation.

Our CO states that holiday takes precedence over vacation over weekend. Is this right? Does she get an additional day? Her vacation would end on July 6 and then her weekend would end July 9 (normally).

TIA for info!

Write out the CO that pertains to this. Also, does 1 day really matter? Or, do you 2 not get along enough to allow some leeway?

 

[Ohiogal]

You really want to fight about one day? Normally a holiday doesn't add an extra day however it depends on the wording.

 

[stepmomndad]

Write out the CO that pertains to this. Also, does 1 day really matter? Or, do you 2 not get along enough to allow some leeway?

There isn't anything in the court order regarding if she can make up the holiday. It says that the weekend is the first weekend of the month. It says each parent is entitled to two weeks of uninterrupted custody during the year, which shall not be consecutive. For purposes of this provision, a week shall be defined as a seven day period.

Yes, one day does really matter, as I'm military. I live in NC and she lives in PA. I am always losing a half day each month, as my weekend starts on Friday at 3:30 PM and I don't get there until around Midnight on Friday. I haven't complained to her about it. And, since I'm driving to PA to get my daughter for Memorial Day, I'm unable to go for my first weekend in June, as I'm traveling to PA the following weekend to pick her up for my summer. So yes, sometimes, that one day does really matter for me. It's one less day that I get with my daughter.

 

[stepmomndad]

You really want to fight about one day? Normally a holiday doesn't add an extra day however it depends on the wording.

There is no wording regarding adding an extra day. She said she call her lawyer today, although I don't know if he'll help her since we went to court at the end of November, 2005 and everything was settled at the beginning of March, 2006 and it was a lawyer appointed from the free lawyer office. I don't know how long they stay being her lawyer.

 

[haiku]

but for YOUR DAUGHTER its a fun vacation**************.

 

[stepmomndad]

but for YOUR DAUGHTER its a fun vacation**************.

BUT, she's not having fun. Every time she comes back from a vacation at her mom's house, she complains that she didn't do anything but help watch her brothers and sisters. She sits at home the whole time or she has to go to her ex-stepdad's house instead of doing something fun or doing something 8 year olds should be doing.

So, not, it's not a fun vacation for my daughter.

 

[haiku]

BUT, she's not having fun. Every time she comes back from a vacation at her mom's house, she complains that she didn't do anything but help watch her brothers and sisters. She sits at home the whole time or she has to go to her ex-stepdad's house instead of doing something fun or doing something 8 year olds should be doing.

So, not, it's not a fun vacation for my daughter.

 

[Zephyr]

BUT, she's not having fun. Every time she comes back from a vacation at her mom's house, she complains that she didn't do anything but help watch her brothers and sisters. She sits at home the whole time or she has to go to her ex-stepdad's house instead of doing something fun or doing something 8 year olds should be doing.

So, not, it's not a fun vacation for my daughter.

you know what- if all mom did was fun vacationy stuff with her- you'd probably complain about that too because she's the disney parent and you're the bad- really get over it.....she's spending family time with her mother and the rest of her family there, and sometimes in families that does entail, babysitting younger siblings, doing chores and whatever.....

 

[stepmomndad]

She's 8! She takes care of these siblings all year long. Yeah, we are going to Disney, so no, I wouldn't complain about mom being the fun parent. I wish Mom would do something with her instead of making her take care of a 7, 4, 2, and 1 year old for the time she's there during the summer. She does that all school year. I'd rather have her here when she can be involved in things that she wants to, like dance.

Plus, she's asking for an extra day. Yes, that can be a big deal. I asked for LEGAL ADVICE not bashing, because I'm a dad who doesn't agree with the way most moms think. I'm sorry I ever asked. I just wanted to know where I stand. I'm a Marine. I could get shipped off to Iraq at any given moment, and therefore, that one day could mean a world of difference to me. Sorry that you one minded people cannot get that. I've seen it happen time and time again any time you do not agree with what the OP thinks, you belittle them. Get over yourselves. People come here looking for advice and instead do not get it.

 

[moburkes]

Maybe, mom can't afford a babysitter. Older siblings usually do babysit the younger kids. There is no bashing or belittling in that. Its called reality. Older sibling had mom/dad all to himself until the next one came along, and then became the built-in babysitter. It happens all the time. Also, kids don't always get to do things like dance. They just don't. Hell, she can dance at mom's house, right? Now, talking about being shipping out, that is a completely different story. You'll get a response from the lawyer. Why don't you negotiate with mom based on that?

 

[Zephyr]

there is the option of going to court over the single day


and sorry, but for some reason- maybe not enough coffee yet- I missed that she was 8- are you really saying that an 8 year old has to be fully responsible for 3 younger children while mom is what? at work for 8 hours a day? or is she just helping mom?

 

[stepmomndad]

Mom doesn't work. Big sis has to take them to the playground while mom is at home. Things like that. She has to dry diapers. She's 8. That's not something she should have to be doing on her "vacation". She has had to do this since about the age of 4 or 5. Mom baby-sits, so there are even more kids on top of the ones mom has. Then, on Tuesdays and Wednesday, she has to go to Mom's Ex-husband's house (who my daughter is not the daughter of) since ALL the other kids go. And, my daughter has told me that she has to take care of the kids there, as well, since ex is by himself. So, I'm supposed to give up a day so my daughter can go to her ex-stepdad's house when she doesn't want to?!?!?!

But, no, she doesn't take care of them all by herself, but, she has to do a lot more than what the average 8 year old does.

 

[stepmomndad]

Maybe, mom can't afford a babysitter. Older siblings usually do babysit the younger kids. There is no bashing or belittling in that. Its called reality. Older sibling had mom/dad all to himself until the next one came along, and then became the built-in babysitter. It happens all the time. Also, kids don't always get to do things like dance. They just don't. Hell, she can dance at mom's house, right? Now, talking about being shipping out, that is a completely different story. You'll get a response from the lawyer. Why don't you negotiate with mom based on that?

She had mom to herself for a year. That's it. Not very long. Mom got pregnant by her ex-husband pretty much right when they got together. And, no, she can't dance at mom's. We've asked mom about putting her in it. She said no, as she cannot take her back and forth once a week. She can't even take her back and forth to tutoring at school to try to get her caught up in her school work. She shouldn't be the built in baby-sitter at age 8. I could see if she was a little older, but, at 8, you should really be allowed to be a kid.

 

[moburkes]

You don't have to go to classes to dance. Stand up and move your butt. THAT is what I was talking about. Offer to pay for the class, and a taxi to and from. I'm not sure that you will win this. Every person has their own situation that is supposed to be different from the next one. When 2 parents can't parent their child amicably, the courts step in. However, the courts won't be able to help you for this one day.

Nothing that you've described makes me believe that she is not being treated as the typical 8 year old with younger siblings. Sorry. I babysat my sisters as well. And, when I turned 16, I was responsible for getting them dinner EVERY DAY. This appears, in my opinion, to be typical.