What is the name of your state? Iowa
Some background: My fiance & I live together. We each have 4 yr old daughters. We have taken slow steps towards blending as a family and the girls are very well-adjusted to the idea. My fiance and I have agreed that we each want the other to feel involved with both kids and that it's ok to reprimand each other's children. This hasn't been a problem for 1 1/2 years as our parenting styles are very similar.
He is NCP of his daughter (I am CP of mine) and we had both the girls this past weekend. During breakfast on Saturday, the girls were messing around (as is usual) and were told at least three times by us to quit what they were doing. Of course, they didn't and ended up with a huge mess. I came in and swatted both rear ends and made them sit at the kitchen table to finish their breakfast. There were no tears as I don't believe in beating your child when you spank them but a quick swat to get attention is ok. The rest of the weekend was pretty good except for the next day when fiance's daughter got really mouthy with her dad and he made her sit on the couch. She yelled in that she was telling her mom and that she is supposed to tell her mom whenever her dad or me is bad to her because we're not supposed to do that. That situation got talked out and it seemed everything was ok when his daughter went home Sunday night.
Now the problem: he called his daughter yesterday morning as usual but when they were about done, he heard his ex say something to his daughter, then his daughter said "My mom said you're not supposed to let **M** do anything to me." He just said something like we'll talk about it later.
Then last night when he called to talk to his daughter before going to bed, his ex said she needed to talk to him and proceeded to say "You tell your skank-a** g/f that she better never touch my daughter again and you better never do that again either as I'll bust both your a**es and call the police to have you thrown in jail." He said that he is free to do as wishes at his house and she the same. She said that she can tell him what to do with their daughter and he will listen or go to jail. Then she put their daughter on the phone who proceeded to yell at her dad "**M** better never touch me again, Dad." (The child is only 4.) Then about an hour later she calls back and wants to speak to me. I agreed and my fiance told his ex that she better be decent as he is always decent to her b/f. Well, she wasn't. The f-word came out every other word and she threatened me and made many derogatory comments. I stayed calm and tried to have explain the situation and what actually happened but she just yelled over me before she hung up.
I realize that I have no "interest" in this situation, but I do help keep track of stuff that goes on as there is much to journal. What are his rights? Can she really call the police because she doesn't like his discipline style? Can she force him to do as she wants at our house? What are some reasons to go back to court? She wasn't working much when they got divorced because she expected him to have to pay for everything. She is self-employed and has been working more and it is usually from 3 or 5 in afternoon to 8 or 9 in the evening. Could this be a reason? It is a regular occurence on his weekly visits (which end at 8 p.m.) for her to call and either have daughter stay all night or not bring her home until after 9 p.m. (and they are school nights). Also on Wednesdays (which aren't his visits) his daughter usually stays with one of her family members or her b/f while she works. Can he fight for his daughter to be with him on that night since mom works?
I'm sorry this is so long but my fiance is very upset as she is kind of crazy acting and he wouldn't put it past her to call the police. This child is in no way abused so I realize that even if she were to turn it in, it would be unfounded. Any advice is appreciated.
Some background: My fiance & I live together. We each have 4 yr old daughters. We have taken slow steps towards blending as a family and the girls are very well-adjusted to the idea. My fiance and I have agreed that we each want the other to feel involved with both kids and that it's ok to reprimand each other's children. This hasn't been a problem for 1 1/2 years as our parenting styles are very similar.
He is NCP of his daughter (I am CP of mine) and we had both the girls this past weekend. During breakfast on Saturday, the girls were messing around (as is usual) and were told at least three times by us to quit what they were doing. Of course, they didn't and ended up with a huge mess. I came in and swatted both rear ends and made them sit at the kitchen table to finish their breakfast. There were no tears as I don't believe in beating your child when you spank them but a quick swat to get attention is ok. The rest of the weekend was pretty good except for the next day when fiance's daughter got really mouthy with her dad and he made her sit on the couch. She yelled in that she was telling her mom and that she is supposed to tell her mom whenever her dad or me is bad to her because we're not supposed to do that. That situation got talked out and it seemed everything was ok when his daughter went home Sunday night.
Now the problem: he called his daughter yesterday morning as usual but when they were about done, he heard his ex say something to his daughter, then his daughter said "My mom said you're not supposed to let **M** do anything to me." He just said something like we'll talk about it later.
Then last night when he called to talk to his daughter before going to bed, his ex said she needed to talk to him and proceeded to say "You tell your skank-a** g/f that she better never touch my daughter again and you better never do that again either as I'll bust both your a**es and call the police to have you thrown in jail." He said that he is free to do as wishes at his house and she the same. She said that she can tell him what to do with their daughter and he will listen or go to jail. Then she put their daughter on the phone who proceeded to yell at her dad "**M** better never touch me again, Dad." (The child is only 4.) Then about an hour later she calls back and wants to speak to me. I agreed and my fiance told his ex that she better be decent as he is always decent to her b/f. Well, she wasn't. The f-word came out every other word and she threatened me and made many derogatory comments. I stayed calm and tried to have explain the situation and what actually happened but she just yelled over me before she hung up.
I realize that I have no "interest" in this situation, but I do help keep track of stuff that goes on as there is much to journal. What are his rights? Can she really call the police because she doesn't like his discipline style? Can she force him to do as she wants at our house? What are some reasons to go back to court? She wasn't working much when they got divorced because she expected him to have to pay for everything. She is self-employed and has been working more and it is usually from 3 or 5 in afternoon to 8 or 9 in the evening. Could this be a reason? It is a regular occurence on his weekly visits (which end at 8 p.m.) for her to call and either have daughter stay all night or not bring her home until after 9 p.m. (and they are school nights). Also on Wednesdays (which aren't his visits) his daughter usually stays with one of her family members or her b/f while she works. Can he fight for his daughter to be with him on that night since mom works?
I'm sorry this is so long but my fiance is very upset as she is kind of crazy acting and he wouldn't put it past her to call the police. This child is in no way abused so I realize that even if she were to turn it in, it would be unfounded. Any advice is appreciated.