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  1. #31
    birdbrain53 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MichaCA View Post
    I was in a similar situation as you ***11 years ago***in CA, and did pay for consults with several attorneys before picking one. Each one said it was legal for me to move with baby as there were no custody orders. As pointed out here, they all did say if dad went to file for custody/visitation, the court MIGHT order child(and I'm with her) to return. I was advised if I moved, to simply be prepared for the possibility of returning...so to have a place to live, etc.

    If you plan to move, know you may be ordered to return (the child). IF IT WERE ME, I would go ahead and move. I would not file custody/visitation papers. Once you do that, there is an automatic restraining order from moving the child out of state.

    I do disagree with Tex, from my experience in talking with attorneys and seeing cases on here, CA is NOT inclined towards moveaways. Well, maybe they are in certain counties...but on the whole, CA family law is all about both parents having as much contact with child as possible, alas the high level of 50/50 custody cases with very young children.

    If you move now, there are no legal repurcussions...but possible financial ones...if you wait til after you file, then you will need to go through the - minimum - several months of ironing out paternity, visitation, custody, probably child support. Depending on what an attorney says...filing for a moveaway then or waiting til thats all settled. If dad shows any involvement with the child at that time, and opposes you moving out of state, IMO you are stuck.

    I think the best thing you can do is get out to talk with a couple of local family law attorneys, and address this. Make lots of calls to attorneys offices...I would always ask for referrals when getting off the phone or leaving the room. The referrals started winding down to 3 to 4 attorneys...thats who I would talk to.
    Micha makes some good points here about move aways in California. Even though laws are on the books about move aways, timely filings or other family law matters, the county you reside in and the philosophy of the commissioners and judges have quite a bit to do with how or if these laws are implemented.
  2. #32
    tallen2k4 is offline Junior Member
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    I am the ORIGINAL POSTER of this question

    I know that given my ex's previous behaviors and how he went about things with his older daughter that he will not try to fight me in court. HOWEVER, his mom is very much involved and pushes him to do things even when he does not want to. For example, she made him go to court for his younger daughter and even wrote out a full "script" of what he should say in court.

    I know that I could safely move away without him saying a word but I also know that its very likely his mother will force him to pursue a court custody case.

    Ive already told my daughters father that I plan on taking him to court (but did not mention my intent to move away with our daughter) all he had to say to that was "Well its about time." He is a procrastinator and a slacker and waits for things to happen rather than pursuing things on his own. However, given that he has not even made one effort to come the 3 hours to see her then I feel as though he wouldn't ever try to come see her if we moved out of state. I do want to her to have a relationship with her father IF and only IF he can clean up his lifestyle and go to rehab to help with his drug problem.

    With all that said, moving is definitely in her best interest so I feel as though I'd have a good leg to stand on in court. We already have a home, a job waiting for me, and extended family. With the way that her father is now I feel as though he is unfit to be in her life and a safety risk.
  3. #33
    signspinner is offline Member
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    Tsk tsk

    Mom OP please do not move without permission. You risk getting all cozy, in ohio, Child and family gettin comfortable just to be ordered back.
    There are laws for a reason, and courts to uphold them. Do the right thing and stay put for now!
  4. #34
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by signspinner View Post
    Mom OP please do not move without permission. You risk getting all cozy, in ohio, Child and family gettin comfortable just to be ordered back.
    There are laws for a reason, and courts to uphold them. Do the right thing and stay put for now!
    Hey spinner, please stay on your own threads. Don't contaminate others.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  5. #35
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by tallen2k4 View Post
    I know that given my ex's previous behaviors and how he went about things with his older daughter that he will not try to fight me in court. HOWEVER, his mom is very much involved and pushes him to do things even when he does not want to. For example, she made him go to court for his younger daughter and even wrote out a full "script" of what he should say in court.
    Sorry, but you're not understanding the process. I don't care if he does it on his own or if his mother encourages him to do it or if the devil made him do it (cue 'Laugh-in' soundtrack).

    If he goes to court to contest it, he has every right to do so - and that counts as fighting you in court. It doesn't matter whose idea it was. And you might lose.

    You've gotten about all the legal advice you're going to get.
  6. #36
    tallen2k4 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistoffolees View Post
    Sorry, but you're not understanding the process. I don't care if he does it on his own or if his mother encourages him to do it or if the devil made him do it (cue 'Laugh-in' soundtrack).

    If he goes to court to contest it, he has every right to do so - and that counts as fighting you in court. It doesn't matter whose idea it was. And you might lose.

    You've gotten about all the legal advice you're going to get.
    Right, and I understand that. I was simply addressing those who said I could go ahead with the move and wait and see if he does anything about it. I figure he will, therefore I have already started researching family law lawyers in my area, filled out and printed the necessary paperwork. It is my intention to file for custody before moving.
  7. #37
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    And that is a wise thing to do.

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