What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Colorado
I posted this in Child Support as well, as I'm not really sure which place is more appropriate.
Ok, some background so not everyone here thinks I'm a scumbag...
About 3 and a half years ago I slept with a girl who had been a good friend of mine.
A few weeks later, I got the "I'm pregnant, it's yours" phone call.
While incredibly scary, I started mentally preparing myself for what was to come. We were both in college, maybe had part-time jobs, and were in no position either physically or emotionally to raise a child. I suggested to her we look at adoption as I believe children growing up in stable 2 parent households are better off than children raised by single parents morons (ie, us).
I did tell her that if she decided to keep the child, I would be the child's father and do everything I could.
A few weeks after this, I found out it might not be mine. In fact, I was one of three possible fathers (charming young lady, no?)
I told her I wanted a paternity test, and she said no.
A few weeks later she told me she was going to marry her ex-boyfriend who would knowingly sign the birth certificate for a child he knew wasn't his. I know the man and confirmed it with him.
I was more than ok with this decision, as I was a proponent of adoption anyway. She and him would get married, he'd sign the BC and take the child as his own, and the child could grow up in a two-parent home.
Well... that didn't last.
They have just finalized a divorce. He wanted to keep custody of the child, but she managed to get the courts to deny him any rights over education or religion; she essentially turned him into a source of money and daycare.
He quickly had his name removed from the birth certificate figuring that if he wasn't going to be allowed to help raise the child he wasn't going pay her. A decision I completely understand.
Now, however, it seems she's coming after me.
The problem is, as soon as I was pushed out of this from the beginning and another man signed the BC with my blessing, I emotionally divested from the child and his mother completely.
As far as I'm concerned, the child has a father, and it's not my fault the mother has pushed him out as well.
3 years later and she still doesn't know who the father of this child is. The other guy has taken a pat test and the results will be in Tuesday or so. Hopefully, he'll come up as the father (since he's decided he also wants the child) and I can be done with this whole thing.
However, if it comes out that I'm the biodad, I have every intention to relinquishing my paternal rights. As I said, this child has a father, and I'm not him. I also refuse to have to pay child support if I'm to be turned into a money source and babysitter.
Also, she works for the courts... the family courts... she's a judges aid. I'm quite certain if it ends up in court I won't be getting a fair deal since she has personal relationships with the judges.
Has anyone been through anything like this before?
Any advice you can offer?
I posted this in Child Support as well, as I'm not really sure which place is more appropriate.
Ok, some background so not everyone here thinks I'm a scumbag...
About 3 and a half years ago I slept with a girl who had been a good friend of mine.
A few weeks later, I got the "I'm pregnant, it's yours" phone call.
While incredibly scary, I started mentally preparing myself for what was to come. We were both in college, maybe had part-time jobs, and were in no position either physically or emotionally to raise a child. I suggested to her we look at adoption as I believe children growing up in stable 2 parent households are better off than children raised by single parents morons (ie, us).
I did tell her that if she decided to keep the child, I would be the child's father and do everything I could.
A few weeks after this, I found out it might not be mine. In fact, I was one of three possible fathers (charming young lady, no?)
I told her I wanted a paternity test, and she said no.
A few weeks later she told me she was going to marry her ex-boyfriend who would knowingly sign the birth certificate for a child he knew wasn't his. I know the man and confirmed it with him.
I was more than ok with this decision, as I was a proponent of adoption anyway. She and him would get married, he'd sign the BC and take the child as his own, and the child could grow up in a two-parent home.
Well... that didn't last.
They have just finalized a divorce. He wanted to keep custody of the child, but she managed to get the courts to deny him any rights over education or religion; she essentially turned him into a source of money and daycare.
He quickly had his name removed from the birth certificate figuring that if he wasn't going to be allowed to help raise the child he wasn't going pay her. A decision I completely understand.
Now, however, it seems she's coming after me.
The problem is, as soon as I was pushed out of this from the beginning and another man signed the BC with my blessing, I emotionally divested from the child and his mother completely.
As far as I'm concerned, the child has a father, and it's not my fault the mother has pushed him out as well.
3 years later and she still doesn't know who the father of this child is. The other guy has taken a pat test and the results will be in Tuesday or so. Hopefully, he'll come up as the father (since he's decided he also wants the child) and I can be done with this whole thing.
However, if it comes out that I'm the biodad, I have every intention to relinquishing my paternal rights. As I said, this child has a father, and I'm not him. I also refuse to have to pay child support if I'm to be turned into a money source and babysitter.
Also, she works for the courts... the family courts... she's a judges aid. I'm quite certain if it ends up in court I won't be getting a fair deal since she has personal relationships with the judges.
Has anyone been through anything like this before?
Any advice you can offer?
