What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia
The child's primary residence is in North Carolina and the Biological mother is in New York. I've only known for approximately 2-3 months about my son. I knew about 3 years ago that the girl I was with was pregnant but we got in an argument and the lady she was staying with told me that she was with a bunch of guys and this was while she was married. This was in VA and the husband was in NC. I found out from the lady she was staying with that she went back to her husband. I tried contacting through email, social network pages, and the phone numbers I was able to get from the phone I had been providing her on a family plan. I told her in these messages I was getting a lawyer but never did. After about 4 months of trying to reach people and my mother as well, I kind of gave up. My mom convinced me it couldn't really be my kid if she wouldn't let me be involved at all. I regret never getting legal help. About 2-3 months ago I got a message from her online apologizing. Then she told me she was sure I was the dad. Also that she had been with her husband who signed the birth certificate. I immediately made plans to go meet him and did within that month. Work gave me special allowances so I could go asap. I flew to New York and met him the first time. Spent 4 days up there and knew he was mine from seeing him. I have had dna testing done and was 99.999 percent chance the father with 15 out of 15 genetic markers matching. When the biological mother approached me she told me that her husband was trying to get full custody from her. What really happened is they are getting divorced and she was the filer. I've seen the paperwork. After my 4 days with my son he started calling me dad on his own and I did spend more time with him. I am trying to get into his life and not sure what to do. I understand that the non bio father has been there already and I wont be trying to get rid of him but more assert my place as the real dad and have his name changed to my last name. The bio mother is in agreement with this. I am not sure what to do and surely the three of us cannot pass him around and share him equally. My dad left when I was 5 and I want to be there and be everything that he wasn't. Any help or advice please would be greatly appreciated. This is a huge mess since the bio mother ran.
The child's primary residence is in North Carolina and the Biological mother is in New York. I've only known for approximately 2-3 months about my son. I knew about 3 years ago that the girl I was with was pregnant but we got in an argument and the lady she was staying with told me that she was with a bunch of guys and this was while she was married. This was in VA and the husband was in NC. I found out from the lady she was staying with that she went back to her husband. I tried contacting through email, social network pages, and the phone numbers I was able to get from the phone I had been providing her on a family plan. I told her in these messages I was getting a lawyer but never did. After about 4 months of trying to reach people and my mother as well, I kind of gave up. My mom convinced me it couldn't really be my kid if she wouldn't let me be involved at all. I regret never getting legal help. About 2-3 months ago I got a message from her online apologizing. Then she told me she was sure I was the dad. Also that she had been with her husband who signed the birth certificate. I immediately made plans to go meet him and did within that month. Work gave me special allowances so I could go asap. I flew to New York and met him the first time. Spent 4 days up there and knew he was mine from seeing him. I have had dna testing done and was 99.999 percent chance the father with 15 out of 15 genetic markers matching. When the biological mother approached me she told me that her husband was trying to get full custody from her. What really happened is they are getting divorced and she was the filer. I've seen the paperwork. After my 4 days with my son he started calling me dad on his own and I did spend more time with him. I am trying to get into his life and not sure what to do. I understand that the non bio father has been there already and I wont be trying to get rid of him but more assert my place as the real dad and have his name changed to my last name. The bio mother is in agreement with this. I am not sure what to do and surely the three of us cannot pass him around and share him equally. My dad left when I was 5 and I want to be there and be everything that he wasn't. Any help or advice please would be greatly appreciated. This is a huge mess since the bio mother ran.
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