residential custody- joint or primary?? NC

[milspecgirl]

What is the name of your state? NC

My friend has been separated for right at a year.
1 child of the marriage

he left the home, child, etc with her

originally she had offered joint legal and joint residential (1 week on and 1 week off). He refused, filing for sole residential

in the past year, he has visited with the child eow. he did take him a cpl days a christmas, but that is it. He hasn't gotten him any during the week, etc even though she has offered.

Since they split, he has moved an hour away

he is now asking for mediation and she is pretty sure he is going to want the split she originally offered.

however, now she is not wanting to do that. the child starts kindergarten in the fall and he would have to get him up at 4:30 or so to get him to school, plus he can't get to the daycare in time to get him, etc etc

The little boy has adjusted well to the eow although she would love it if he would also maybe take him to dinner 1x a week or something- she wants him to be involved, but feels having to go back and forth when there is that much distance is too hard on him on a weekly basis.

her other son does have a weekly split with his dad (but they live close and have worked hard to stay close to each other for their sons sake) so she is all for the joint, but doesn't feel it is in this child's best interest to have to have that kind of distance from his school half the time, daycare issues, etc.

It doesn't help that her stbx can do nothing but yell and scream at her everytime he sees her so coparenting is going to be very hard- although bless her heart she does try

so, great gurus- anybody familiar enough with NC to give her any advice. I am going to send her the link so she can answer any questions, etc.

oh- before the split, he traveled a lot for work and was rarely home to take care of the child so she is definitely the primary caregiver

 

[milspecgirl]

come on guys- ya'll are letting me down here.
I posted here and sent her the link cause I knew if anyone could give her insight it would be ya'll
anyone????

 

[Humusluvr]

come on guys- ya'll are letting me down here.
I posted here and sent her the link cause I knew if anyone could give her insight it would be ya'll
anyone????

C'mon milspec. You know they don't like to answer "my friend" questions. Send your friend to get her answers

 

[milspecgirl]

she is actually reading the post, she just can't log on and register at work

i will have her log on and update when she gets home tonight, but she's the one who told me what to write- ugh

 

[mommyof4]

It is going to be very rare that alternating weeks is going to be ordered in this situation. The child is starting school. It's not practical and is not in the child's best interest to be living half the time an hour away from the school.

Odds are that it will be EOW, Wednesday evening, split and/or altenating holidays, and split summer.

Pretty much the 'standard'. She will always have the option of offering more time in addition to what is eventually ordered.

They will have joint legal custody (although the order will most likely read primary/secondary, she should understand that doesn't mean that SHE's the sole residential and legal custodial parent. )

Milspec, where in NC is she? You can send me a PM.

 

[Ohiogal]

What mommy said!