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revoking parental rights?

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sometwo

Senior Member
Sometwo, if you are supermom and can make a child talk on the phone if the child doesn't want to talk, and is determined not to talk, then hooray for you, most of the rest of us couldn't do that
If you don't make such a big deal out of it and encourage then maybe it wouldn't be so a big deal.

I'm not saying its all her fault that he isn't involved but it sounds like she lets the 7 yr old make the rules. It shouldn't be like that. The child doesn't get to decide that. There's reasons we're called parents, its called parenting.
 


Artemis_ofthe_Hunt

Senior Member
If you don't make such a big deal out of it and encourage then maybe it wouldn't be so a big deal.

I'm not saying its all her fault that he isn't involved but it sounds like she lets the 7 yr old make the rules. It shouldn't be like that. The child doesn't get to decide that. There's reasons we're called parents, its called parenting.
I'm going to disagree with you. I didn't get anything at all from Mom that she frequently lets the 7 year old make the rules. Did I miss something? Otherwise, short of holding him down and holding the phone to his ear, you can't even really make a child talk on the phone. That could get ugly too.
 
This is directed mostly at Danny but somewhat at sometwo as well. This is NOT a boilerplate situation. The son has not seen his father in 4 years (dad moved away) and has not spoken to his father in over a year, and dad isn't trying either.

Mom has encouraged dad to find other ways to communicate with the child and rebuild a relationship. Dad DOES NOT CARE.

Slamming this mother, this bad, because she isn't going to force the child to talk to dad is a bit out of line.

Danny, she is NOT alienating dad and she is NOT going to lose custody. Dad did his alienating all by himself when he moved away and has made no effort to see his child in 4 years.

Sometwo, if you are supermom and can make a child talk on the phone if the child doesn't want to talk, and is determined not to talk, then hooray for you, most of the rest of us couldn't do that.
Round of applause to this post! While there are many cases where it seems it's just easier to replace one parent with a step parent, that's not always the case. This Dad has been out of this child's life for so long that he and the child ARE strangers at this point. That's not Mom's fault. I took what she was saying as she could make the child get on the phone, but couldn't make him talk. That's not bad parenting in what she described. It's no different than sure, you can make a kid go to school, but you can't make them pay attention or listen. Not easily anyway.

OP -I strongly encourage you to talk with an attorney. If the adoption is contested by Dad, at least some type of gradual measures can take place so that Father and son can build a relationship and get to know each other. From a personal perspective, I think considering possibilities that will let Father and son rebuild their relationship (with precautions to protect your son's feelings) is better for everyone. If Dad doesn't follow through with getting to know his son, then he will be less likely to contest adoption. If they are able to build a relationship, your son will be blessed with a relationship with his father and have a great step-father. And if it doesn't work,go forward with adoption, knowing you tried your very best to give our son a relationship with his father .

And to whoever questioned why the other Mother had the child at Court - in many areas it is completely standard to have the child present when the adoption is granted. Many Judges require the child present.

And Dannyt - where does your knowledge of family law come from? Your comments are almost always wrong and you are way off base. You need to stop posting nonsense before someone is harmed from your advice.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Round of applause to this post! While there are many cases where it seems it's just easier to replace one parent with a step parent, that's not always the case. This Dad has been out of this child's life for so long that he and the child ARE strangers at this point. That's not Mom's fault. I took what she was saying as she could make the child get on the phone, but couldn't make him talk. That's not bad parenting in what she described. It's no different than sure, you can make a kid go to school, but you can't make them pay attention or listen. Not easily anyway.

OP -I strongly encourage you to talk with an attorney. If the adoption is contested by Dad, at least some type of gradual measures can take place so that Father and son can build a relationship and get to know each other. From a personal perspective, I think considering possibilities that will let Father and son rebuild their relationship (with precautions to protect your son's feelings) is better for everyone. If Dad doesn't follow through with getting to know his son, then he will be less likely to contest adoption. If they are able to build a relationship, your son will be blessed with a relationship with his father and have a great step-father. And if it doesn't work,go forward with adoption, knowing you tried your very best to give our son a relationship with his father .

And to whoever questioned why the other Mother had the child at Court - in many areas it is completely standard to have the child present when the adoption is granted. Many Judges require the child present.

And Dannyt - where does your knowledge of family law come from? Your comments are almost always wrong and you are way off base. You need to stop posting nonsense before someone is harmed from your advice.
Re the bolded, I have never seen an adoption case yet (outside of CPS/DCF etc) where the children were not required to be present. In many (maybe even in most, maybe even in all, I don't know) states there is a certain age where a child also has to consent to a stepparent adoption.
 
Re the bolded, I have never seen an adoption case yet (outside of CPS/DCF etc) where the children were not required to be present. In many (maybe even in most, maybe even in all, I don't know) states there is a certain age where a child also has to consent to a stepparent adoption.
Agreed. I know in my part of the country, the proceeding is almost like a marriage ceremony (standard questions to all parties, including the child) and the Judge presents the child with their new name to all those in Court. It's the one time clapping is allowed, even with the sternest Judge.

The child, if not an infant is always asked by the attorney if they understand that step-parent is now their mom or dad just as if they were born to them. Guess that's the consent.

One local attorney always asks the child, "Now you understand if the Judge grants the adoption, you must always keep your room clean?" There have been quite a few humorous responses to that. :)
 

>Charlotte<

Lurker
Ignore dannyt. He is an ignorant wannabe who has memorized a few standard answers to a few general scenarios and does nothing but parrot those answers whether or not they're appropriate. If he ever is correct it's only because whatever response he spits out happens to fit the issue at hand.

His motive is apparently an enjoyment of bullying and berating people, since the vast majority of the threads to which he posts are ones in which he can take that opportunity. In other words--a classic troll.

Despite the hostility he encounters from members who possess actual knowledge, he has no intention of stopping. The only way to handle a poster like dannyt is to simply make the OP aware of his ignorance.
 

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