Round of applause to this post! While there are many cases where it seems it's just easier to replace one parent with a step parent, that's not always the case. This Dad has been out of this child's life for so long that he and the child ARE strangers at this point. That's not Mom's fault. I took what she was saying as she could make the child get on the phone, but couldn't make him talk. That's not bad parenting in what she described. It's no different than sure, you can make a kid go to school, but you can't make them pay attention or listen. Not easily anyway.
OP -I strongly encourage you to talk with an attorney. If the adoption is contested by Dad, at least some type of gradual measures can take place so that Father and son can build a relationship and get to know each other. From a personal perspective, I think considering possibilities that will let Father and son rebuild their relationship (with precautions to protect your son's feelings) is better for everyone. If Dad doesn't follow through with getting to know his son, then he will be less likely to contest adoption. If they are able to build a relationship, your son will be blessed with a relationship with his father and have a great step-father. And if it doesn't work,go forward with adoption, knowing you tried your very best to give our son a relationship with his father .
And to whoever questioned why the other Mother had the child at Court - in many areas it is completely standard to have the child present when the adoption is granted. Many Judges require the child present.
And Dannyt - where does your knowledge of family law come from? Your comments are almost always wrong and you are way off base. You need to stop posting nonsense before someone is harmed from your advice.