no, we couldn't. we tried all of those things. But, bio mom (her rights have been terminated so I can call her that) made so many promises about when she would call, write, etc that she broke, the child just stopped trying.
There is only so much you can compensate for and sugar coat. When mom doesn't show up for supervised visitations (3x in a row) and then when she does show up she brings one of the people who abused the child...
There is no chance in Hades that child is going to believe us when we tell her how much mom wants to see her and how she learned from her mistakes and will never put her in harms way again.
Eventually the child is going to know you are flat out lying to them cause mom didn't care. She was asking her about stuff that the child hadn't done or been interested in for over 3 years.
We would have never physically restrained her that way but the judge ordered that she be on that phone if mom called (were trying a reintegration plan which flopped since mom made no effort) and I was not going to get on that judge's bad side.