Right of first refusal

[FamilyTime101]

I am located in the state of Maryland. I was kind and did what I felt was right (and would "force the father to be a father") and agreed to 50/50 custody. I did add a clause for rofr after 2 hours because my son was 5 months at the time. He is now 11 months. The father gives up every Tuesday night and Saturday for 5-6 hours. He is constantly late and also doesn't come until 930pm. The agreement says 10. However by then my son is asleep for hours due to his age. Is there a grace period? I have filed a modification. However they're claiming (opposing party) that there's not enough substantial change. This is only tip of iceberg. He's given up many 5 day stretches to go out of town for conventions. Completely voluntary attendance. They also cost the flight, hotel costs, dining, and entertainment and an entrance fee of over $185. He's already in contempt or is going to case for it because he's behind paying over $2,500. I assume I don't have a right to refuse pick up if my son is asleep. He's done this when my son had fevers and what not. My son has a severe medical condition that I correspond with all doctors and he refuses to communicate with me about how he is during his time or always says fine and it's not the case when daycare calls. Ok end jumbled question sorry.

 

[Proserpina]

I am located in the state of Maryland. I was kind and did what I felt was right (and would "force the father to be a father") and agreed to 50/50 custody. I did add a clause for rofr after 2 hours because my son was 5 months at the time. He is now 11 months. The father gives up every Tuesday night and Saturday for 5-6 hours. He is constantly late and also doesn't come until 930pm. The agreement says 10. However by then my son is asleep for hours due to his age. Is there a grace period? I have filed a modification. However they're claiming (opposing party) that there's not enough substantial change. This is only tip of iceberg. He's given up many 5 day stretches to go out of town for conventions. Completely voluntary attendance. They also cost the flight, hotel costs, dining, and entertainment and an entrance fee of over $185. He's already in contempt or is going to case for it because he's behind paying over $2,500. I assume I don't have a right to refuse pick up if my son is asleep. He's done this when my son had fevers and what not. My son has a severe medical condition that I correspond with all doctors and he refuses to communicate with me about how he is during his time or always says fine and it's not the case when daycare calls. Ok end jumbled question sorry.

The court isn't going to be thrilled with you petitioning for a modification a mere 6 months after the original order.

Has Dad's schedule actually changed that much? He never went to these conventions prior?

 

[Silverplum]

I bet 10 FA Bucks that Dad attends the conventions to make business contacts/exhibit/learn. It's called "work." It's an activity some people do in order to make money.

He still has to pay court-ordered support. File for contempt and enforcement. But your "argument against" his work is laughable: don't try it with non-internet people.

 

[FamilyTime101]

I am a full time working engineer and mom. I attended all medical things for my son due to his serious condition. These conventions have zero income base and the guidelines support they're not required to go to. I've attended. It's the same thing taught each time. He has missed before. His emails state he would adjust his work or items like that if we did that agreement. I raised hi. Solely for the first month and a half. I agreed so I could try to do what's best for my son. So yes. He gives up every Tuesday which is his custodial day along with every Saturday he has him. He was driving a jag and blowing up credit cards and cash but lied on his financial document (I have proof of due to his divorce decree staying he'd split the $10,000/month made) etc. so no. I'm not the normal "dad hating money sucking mom". I'm the hard working, try to do what's best for my sick son and alleviate the disruptive nature and missed medication and appointments mom.

 

[FamilyTime101]

And for the ignorant comments. I don't think it was a laughing matter when the court filed two defaults against him and an emergency hearing for me...that I canceled to naively give the father a chance to be one which again failed

 

[LdiJ]

I am a full time working engineer and mom. I attended all medical things for my son due to his serious condition. These conventions have zero income base and the guidelines support they're not required to go to. I've attended. It's the same thing taught each time. He has missed before. His emails state he would adjust his work or items like that if we did that agreement. I raised hi. Solely for the first month and a half. I agreed so I could try to do what's best for my son. So yes. He gives up every Tuesday which is his custodial day along with every Saturday he has him. He was driving a jag and blowing up credit cards and cash but lied on his financial document (I have proof of due to his divorce decree staying he'd split the $10,000/month made) etc. so no. I'm not the normal "dad hating money sucking mom". I'm the hard working, try to do what's best for my sick son and alleviate the disruptive nature and missed medication and appointments mom.

You potentially have a serious situation if your son has serious medical issues and is missing medication when with dad.

What is the actual parenting schedule. I am trying to get a handle on just how much of it dad is really missing. So far you have told us that he is voluntarily giving up 6 visits a month, but without knowing the actual schedule its difficult to determine what that represents. Are we correct to assume that your son is only about 7-8 months old?

 

[Proserpina]

You potentially have a serious situation if your son has serious medical issues and is missing medication when with dad.

What is the actual parenting schedule. I am trying to get a handle on just how much of it dad is really missing. So far you have told us that he is voluntarily giving up 6 visits a month, but without knowing the actual schedule its difficult to determine what that represents. Are we correct to assume that your son is only about 7-8 months old?

11 months old.

Per original post.

 

[Silverplum]

And for the ignorant comments. I don't think it was a laughing matter when the court filed two defaults against him and an emergency hearing for me...that I canceled to naively give the father a chance to be one which again failed

Read what I wrote. Not what you somehow "think" I wrote.

 

[FamilyTime101]

My son is 11 months old. He has switched medications and put into the wrong medication bottle he had left over bc for some reason he didn't want to send original. The next time he put in an unlabeled container you'd put food in. He made us miss a colonoscopy and upper endoscopy my son was to have scheduled bc he wouldn't return calls and they scheduled others and I didn't want to break legal agreement/order since joint legal. I've filed each with police and child youth services. He has also stormed into a doctors office and cancelled an appointment the day after an emergency visit because I scheduled on his day and it was because I asked him over and over to schedule. My son has FPIES, food enteropathy, mild trachealmalacia, is on nebulizers, inhalers he told wrong dosage to daycare to, and feeds wrong to the FPIES diet. Which would cause shock or anaphylaxis. He minimizes things. Especially if it's his time. He'll say to wait to see how he acts another day (aka my time). I have now filed FMLA because he misses so much and I care for him most of the time. The agreement is his dad had every Monday and Tuesday. I have every Wednesday Thursday. We rotate Friday Saturday and Sunday. 2-2-5-5 schedule. He used to give up Friday's Monday's and Sunday times as well but now logs onto meetings or has strangers over to the home and has his mom watch him in his closed bedroom for 2-4 hours. She doesn't go to doctors so she doesn't know how to care for him. I am more than willing. Honestly the money isn't as big (however I am struggling while he's purchasing these new vehicles and Armani suits...yes no joke). But I get by and just enjoy time with my son. I even offer him to join us. He's declined twice when I've asked for an additional hour.

 

[FamilyTime101]

I read it. It's an MLM. Pretty sure if you google an ACN convention you'll see why it's a joke

 

[FamilyTime101]

May I also add that he continuously is late dropping off and picking up so I constantly cancel plans.

 

[Proserpina]

I strongly suggest you speak with an attorney.

Good luck to your son.

 

[cheesecake46580]

OMG he must be my ex's brother! Don't back down about his medical document document document. make sure to invite him to each and every appointment. If he is not getting to appointments on dads time or get the proper medications while in dads care and it is proven he can be charged with medical neglect. I have been dealing with an ex for the past 12 years that's it's all about him and not our daughter. But with her recent hospitalization a lot of things have been brought to light and hopefully I can finally get things changed for the better for her after 12 years.