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tuffbrk

Senior Member
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. When I see a snarky comment by a SM, it raises my eyebrows and puts a different perspective on a situation. Mom was okay. Mom is now not okay. I don't think that Mom would have changed her mind without a reason.

Yes, you are citing school policy and assuring SM that she is not creating a legal issue. The fact that SM is concerned about that - well, that implies a less than stellar relationship. All children are negatively impacted when the adults in their lives do not get along - that far outweighs any benefit from SM showing up at the school.

Mom and Dad managed the tuition and volunteering for cash credits prior to SM being around. There is no reason for SM to be involved in it. If there was no tension, then SM could parade around the school all she wants. But since SM is concerned about legal standing - I 'd have to say there is tension, quite a bit of tension.

One has to wonder why it is so important to SM to volunteer instead of just stepping back and letting Mom and Dad handle it. I mean, really - is it that important that she's passing out cupcakes and/or that step child sees her in the school?
 


mistoffolees

Senior Member
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. When I see a snarky comment by a SM, it raises my eyebrows and puts a different perspective on a situation. Mom was okay. Mom is now not okay. I don't think that Mom would have changed her mind without a reason.

Yes, you are citing school policy and assuring SM that she is not creating a legal issue. The fact that SM is concerned about that - well, that implies a less than stellar relationship. All children are negatively impacted when the adults in their lives do not get along - that far outweighs any benefit from SM showing up at the school.

Mom and Dad managed the tuition and volunteering for cash credits prior to SM being around. There is no reason for SM to be involved in it. If there was no tension, then SM could parade around the school all she wants. But since SM is concerned about legal standing - I 'd have to say there is tension, quite a bit of tension.

One has to wonder why it is so important to SM to volunteer instead of just stepping back and letting Mom and Dad handle it. I mean, really - is it that important that she's passing out cupcakes and/or that step child sees her in the school?
Yes, it probably is.

I don't see anything justifying your negative take on it. Having seen first hand how snarky parents can be about stepparents, I wouldn't want to assume that all the problems are OP's fault.

In any event, it doesn't change the facts. If OP's spouse is OK with OP volunteering, then there's nothing illegal about it.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Yes, it probably is.

I don't see anything justifying your negative take on it. Having seen first hand how snarky parents can be about stepparents, I wouldn't want to assume that all the problems are OP's fault.

In any event, it doesn't change the facts. If OP's spouse is OK with OP volunteering, then there's nothing illegal about it.
No, nothing illegal about it, but it could wreak havoc with the co-parenting relationship, and from what we have seen on these forums, frequently DOES.
 

justalayman

Senior Member
CJane;2920456]It would have to be FEDERAL dollars for FERPA to be affected.
yes but some of the school money distributed by the states comes from the federal government. I do not know if they would consider that federal funding or not. I simply do not know enough about it to be able to say either way.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
yes but some of the school money distributed by the states comes from the federal government. I do not know if they would consider that federal funding or not. I simply do not know enough about it to be able to say either way.
Private schools do not receive any state or federal money as far as I know.
 

justalayman

Senior Member
Private schools do not receive any state or federal money as far as I know.
In Indiana they do, now. With the voucher system, the per student payment the public schools received is now paid to the private school the student attends.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
In Indiana they do, now. With the voucher system, the per student payment the public schools received is now paid to the private school the student attends.
I will have to do some research on that. I was aware that there was a bill up for vote on that (for quite some time) but I was not aware that it had passed. I know lots of people with children in private schools and none of them have mentioned getting a voucher.

Edit to add:

Wow, yeah it did finally pass this summer. However it is being challenged in court. 170 private schools have signed up to participate so far. It appears to be limited to urban areas according the the article I read. I will have to look for the actual bill that passed.
 
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mistoffolees

Senior Member
I will have to do some research on that. I was aware that there was a bill up for vote on that (for quite some time) but I was not aware that it had passed. I know lots of people with children in private schools and none of them have mentioned getting a voucher.

Edit to add:

Wow, yeah it did finally pass this summer. However it is being challenged in court. 170 private schools have signed up to participate so far. It appears to be limited to urban areas according the the article I read. I will have to look for the actual bill that passed.
Private schools also receive vouchers from the state in OK. It is also being challenged, but clearly your statement that private schools do not receive any state money is wrong.

Furthermore, there are plenty of other examples (it only took a few seconds to find these):
Ohio - the state reimburses the schools for certain administrative costs:
ODE - Non-Public Administrative Cost Reimbursement Reports

Wisconsin is INCREASING state funding to private schools by $17 M:
Wisconsin private schools' state funding up $17M as public school funding is slashed | Green Bay Press Gazette | greenbaypressgazette.com

New York. Private schools receive "partial state funding"
Government Funding-Where Does it Go? Public Schools v Private Schools by Kara Rubino & Christine Goldstein | NY Teachers

And even on the Federal level, funding for some programs must be made available to private schools:
Federal Funding for Private Elementary & Secondary Schools | eHow.com
Federal formula grants available to public schools must also be made available to private schools. Faith-based private schools can also receive federal funding. The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that government funding is available "if it is neutral with respect to religion and provides assistance directly to a broad class of citizens who, in turn, direct government aid to religious schools wholly as a result of their own genuine and independent private choice."
 

justalayman

Senior Member
I will have to do some research on that. I was aware that there was a bill up for vote on that (for quite some time) but I was not aware that it had passed. I know lots of people with children in private schools and none of them have mentioned getting a voucher.

Edit to add:

Wow, yeah it did finally pass this summer. However it is being challenged in court. 170 private schools have signed up to participate so far. It appears to be limited to urban areas according the the article I read. I will have to look for the actual bill that passed.
The reason I knew of it is I have a friend with children in Catholic schools. Otherwise I would not known it had passed either.

Not sure I would consider his area rural though since he lives in the middle of Mishawaka.;)
 

Antigone*

Senior Member
If I were step mom, I continue doing what I was doing as long as the school allowed it and wouldn't give any credence to what mom says.

In fact I would not discuss with mom at all.
 

buckeyesm

Junior Member
I find it rather rude that I simply asked a LEGAL question and then get ridiculed for some personal things, that no one here knows the "whole story" or the "back story".

First and foremost.. I do have my own responsibilites and so does my husband. I don't tell you how to run your household, don't imply how I "Should" run mine.

Second.. Mom and Dad never married.. it was a one night stand when they were 21. Step child is going to a private school now, after DH fought for it. Yes. I work. Yes DH works. My money is his and his is mine.. it goes for debt and tuition and other bills. Usually married couples do that sort of thing.

Third.. DH has NEVER had a problem with SM in the school

Why did the BM change her mind? Because she doesn't like SM doing anything with the child. She doesn't even want the FATHER being involved. She just likes drama and changes her mind frequently to do so.

So, there is a little more "info" for all of you that have "personal" questions/comments, etc.

I asked a LEGAL question. I don't judge, comment or suggest how your life is don't do it to mine.

Thank you!
 

Antigone*

Senior Member
I find it rather rude that I simply asked a LEGAL question and then get ridiculed for some personal things, that no one here knows the "whole story" or the "back story".

First and foremost.. I do have my own responsibilites and so does my husband. I don't tell you how to run your household, don't imply how I "Should" run mine.

Second.. Mom and Dad never married.. it was a one night stand when they were 21. Step child is going to a private school now, after DH fought for it. Yes. I work. Yes DH works. My money is his and his is mine.. it goes for debt and tuition and other bills. Usually married couples do that sort of thing.

Third.. DH has NEVER had a problem with SM in the school

Why did the BM change her mind? Because she doesn't like SM doing anything with the child. She doesn't even want the FATHER being involved. She just likes drama and changes her mind frequently to do so.

So, there is a little more "info" for all of you that have "personal" questions/comments, etc.

I asked a LEGAL question. I don't judge, comment or suggest how your life is don't do it to mine.

Thank you!
You know, it really isn't nice when you call the childs mother a Bowel Movement. I think that is part of the rudeness that is coming back at you.

It is mom...just mom. It is dad...just dad. You are step mom, or SM.

I told you how you should handle this. It really is not a legal issue. The school has already dealt with it.
 
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buckeyesm

Junior Member
Thanks for the legal advice.

As far as the "Bowel Movement", comment. Sorry that you "read into things" and I take it from all your comments and observations, you are a "BM" or a BIO MOM.. A SM or STEP MOM ...both have "mom" in the name. Trust me I could use a lot of other terms, but I don't. I do have respect.

Again, thank you to ALL of the legal answers you have truly helped calm my nerves.

Have a great night!!
 

justalayman

Senior Member
Thanks for the legal advice.

As far as the "Bowel Movement", comment. Sorry that you "read into things" and I take it from all your comments and observations, you are a "BM" or a BIO MOM.. A SM or STEP MOM ...both have "mom" in the name. Trust me I could use a lot of other terms, but I don't. I do have respect.

Again, thank you to ALL of the legal answers you have truly helped calm my nerves.

Have a great night!!
as was stated; it's not bio-mom. It is; mom or mother.

Ok, what if the child was adopted by a woman other than the woman who birthed it? Obviously bio-mom is not applicable. It is simply: mom.
 
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