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  1. #1
    cooloonka is offline Junior Member
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    Cool rights of father? (if not on birth certificate)

    What is the name of your state? maryland

    i am currently pregnant. the father is married to someone else which i did not find out about until after i told him that i was pregnant. he has since told his wife about the affair, the two of us have broken up, and they are working on fixing their broken marriage.

    basically the two of them are nuts. (ie. threatened already to take my child away from me then the next day stated that they will have nothing to do with my 'demon' child etc...)
    i will spare the other crazy details for now and just skip to the simple question.

    i do not want to put the father's name on the birth certificate at birth.
    so what rights would he then have as far as any type of visitation?
    is there any time limit for claiming paternity?
    can he order a dna test? if so can he then request he be put on the birth certificate?
    can i get child support without him being on the bc?
    and if he can do these things then can i request that his wife not be allowed to see my child? especially if i can prove her threats against him?

    all help is much appreciated and please do not criticize me as i have seen much of on this board. not everyone is so lucky to have a great legal education!
  2. #2
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cooloonka
    What is the name of your state? maryland

    i am currently pregnant. the father is married to someone else which i did not find out about until after i told him that i was pregnant. he has since told his wife about the affair, the two of us have broken up, and they are working on fixing their broken marriage.

    basically the two of them are nuts. (ie. threatened already to take my child away from me then the next day stated that they will have nothing to do with my 'demon' child etc...)
    i will spare the other crazy details for now and just skip to the simple question.

    i do not want to put the father's name on the birth certificate at birth.
    so what rights would he then have as far as any type of visitation?
    is there any time limit for claiming paternity?
    can he order a dna test? if so can he then request he be put on the birth certificate?
    can i get child support without him being on the bc?
    and if he can do these things then can i request that his wife not be allowed to see my child? especially if i can prove her threats against him?

    all help is much appreciated and please do not criticize me as i have seen much of on this board. not everyone is so lucky to have a great legal education!
    He's the father. You picked him. His wife comes with the package.

    Yet another reason why one should, ya know, actually know the person/s with whom they are sleeping.

    You can't collect CS without opening yourself up to visitation, and you certainly cannot collect it without adjudicating paternity. So get used to it: Money=Daddy.
  3. #3
    BelizeBreeze is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cooloonka
    What is the name of your state? maryland

    i am currently pregnant. the father is married to someone else which i did not find out about until after i told him that i was pregnant. he has since told his wife about the affair, the two of us have broken up, and they are working on fixing their broken marriage.

    basically the two of them are nuts. (ie. threatened already to take my child away from me then the next day stated that they will have nothing to do with my 'demon' child etc...)
    i will spare the other crazy details for now and just skip to the simple question.

    i do not want to put the father's name on the birth certificate at birth.
    so what rights would he then have as far as any type of visitation?
    is there any time limit for claiming paternity?
    can he order a dna test? if so can he then request he be put on the birth certificate?
    can i get child support without him being on the bc?
    and if he can do these things then can i request that his wife not be allowed to see my child? especially if i can prove her threats against him?

    all help is much appreciated and please do not criticize me as i have seen much of on this board. not everyone is so lucky to have a great legal education!
    He can sue for custody and visitation just like any other father. What you 'request' is moot.
  4. #4
    AHA
    AHA is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cooloonka
    What is the name of your state? maryland

    i am currently pregnant. the father is married to someone else which i did not find out about until after i told him that i was pregnant. he has since told his wife about the affair, the two of us have broken up, and they are working on fixing their broken marriage.

    basically the two of them are nuts. (ie. threatened already to take my child away from me then the next day stated that they will have nothing to do with my 'demon' child etc...)
    i will spare the other crazy details for now and just skip to the simple question.

    i do not want to put the father's name on the birth certificate at birth.
    so what rights would he then have as far as any type of visitation?
    is there any time limit for claiming paternity?
    can he order a dna test? if so can he then request he be put on the birth certificate?
    can i get child support without him being on the bc?
    and if he can do these things then can i request that his wife not be allowed to see my child? especially if i can prove her threats against him?

    all help is much appreciated and please do not criticize me as i have seen much of on this board. not everyone is so lucky to have a great legal education!

    Since he left you and his wife is not a fan of you, it's a pretty safe bet that once you file for cs (when DNA test has proven him to be the father, because that's a must in order to get cs) daddy and his wife is not going to sit idly by and send money for a kid they don't see. Dad will probably file for at least visitation to begin with. Your child is carrying the genes of one of those "nuts" people, so go easy on the name calling since they will be part of your kid's family forever.
  5. #5
    cooloonka is offline Junior Member
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    well you think you know someone and then theres situations like the B.T.K. serial killer. i hate to say but thats the only example i can think of right now. you never really know. this man is a con artist car salesman and believe me i thought i knew him well.

    i by all means want my baby to have a relationship with his father but only under the terms that it may be a 'loving' relationship. and i am afraid of the alternatives. also the father and wife are planning to move to south carolina anyways so the outlook is grim.

    can i atleast give the child my last name in the event that it is very possible this man will ultimately decide to have no interest at all in the child?

    if i have no interest in child support, then can i just leave him off the bc?
    would he still be able to petition for dna test, paternity rights, etc?
    and i would still like to know if there is a time limit on how long he would have to wait before he decided to do so? (can he wait until the kid is 4 and decide then he wants all of his rights?)
  6. #6
    NotSoNew is offline Senior Member
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    Wink

    Quote Originally Posted by cooloonka


    so what rights would he then have as far as any type of visitation? he has the right to file for visitation through the courts regardless of if he is on the B/C or not.

    is there any time limit for claiming paternity? no

    can he order a dna test? yes

    if so can he then request he be put on the birth certificate? he can ask for that, but it isnt necessary. you can put anyone on the BC they have to sign an acknowlegement of paternity for it to mean anything legally.

    can i get child support without him being on the bc? yes, but paternity will have to be proven through the courts before that can happen, which paves the way for him to file for visitation.

    and if he can do these things then can i request that his wife not be allowed to see my child? yes sure you can request anything you like, its not likely you will get it. basically anything she says before the child is born it a moot point anyway.

    especially if i can prove her threats against him? threats are one thing, doing something is another.
    you are going to get critized regardless of it any disclaimer you put it asking people not to critize you!
  7. #7
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cooloonka
    well you think you know someone and then theres situations like the B.T.K. serial killer. i hate to say but thats the only example i can think of right now. you never really know. this man is a con artist car salesman and believe me i thought i knew him well.

    i by all means want my baby to have a relationship with his father but only under the terms that it may be a 'loving' relationship. and i am afraid of the alternatives. also the father and wife are planning to move to south carolina anyways so the outlook is grim.

    can i atleast give the child my last name in the event that it is very possible this man will ultimately decide to have no interest at all in the child?

    if i have no interest in child support, then can i just leave him off the bc?
    would he still be able to petition for dna test, paternity rights, etc?
    and i would still like to know if there is a time limit on how long he would have to wait before he decided to do so? (can he wait until the kid is 4 and decide then he wants all of his rights?)
    You're not going to be able to dictate terms. You can't control him; neither can he control you.

    Yes, you can give the kid your last name.

    No time limit: the father can file for paternity, form/s of custody, and visitation any time during the child's minority.
  8. #8
    NotSoNew is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cooloonka

    can i atleast give the child my last name in the event that it is very possible this man will ultimately decide to have no interest at all in the child? sure, and he can ask the courts to put his name on.

    if i have no interest in child support, then can i just leave him off the bc? sure, but he can still ask for visitation.
    would he still be able to petition for dna test, paternity rights, etc? yes
    and i would still like to know if there is a time limit on how long he would have to wait before he decided to do so? (can he wait until the kid is 4 and decide then he wants all of his rights?) he can wait until the child is 17 if he wants.
    see answers in quotes please.
  9. #9
    lizbeth17 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cooloonka
    well you think you know someone and then theres situations like the B.T.K. serial killer. i hate to say but thats the only example i can think of right now. you never really know. this man is a con artist car salesman and believe me i thought i knew him well.

    i by all means want my baby to have a relationship with his father but only under the terms that it may be a 'loving' relationship. and i am afraid of the alternatives. also the father and wife are planning to move to south carolina anyways so the outlook is grim.

    can i atleast give the child my last name in the event that it is very possible this man will ultimately decide to have no interest at all in the child?

    if i have no interest in child support, then can i just leave him off the bc?
    would he still be able to petition for dna test, paternity rights, etc?
    and i would still like to know if there is a time limit on how long he would have to wait before he decided to do so? (can he wait until the kid is 4 and decide then he wants all of his rights?)
    Of course you can give your child your last name.... Why would you give him any other name?
    He can decide he wants visitation any time he wants...
  10. #10
    AHA
    AHA is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cooloonka
    well you think you know someone and then theres situations like the B.T.K. serial killer. i hate to say but thats the only example i can think of right now. you never really know. this man is a con artist car salesman and believe me i thought i knew him well.

    i by all means want my baby to have a relationship with his father but only under the terms that it may be a 'loving' relationship. and i am afraid of the alternatives. also the father and wife are planning to move to south carolina anyways so the outlook is grim.

    can i atleast give the child my last name in the event that it is very possible this man will ultimately decide to have no interest at all in the child?

    if i have no interest in child support, then can i just leave him off the bc?
    would he still be able to petition for dna test, paternity rights, etc?
    and i would still like to know if there is a time limit on how long he would have to wait before he decided to do so? (can he wait until the kid is 4 and decide then he wants all of his rights?)
    You don't have to give the kid his last name.
    If you forfeit cs in the hopes that you won't have to involve him in any way, you better make sure that you never file for any kind of government assistance. If you do, you'll have to name the father and they'll go after him for reimbursment of the money you've received. And that will most likely make him "want" rights to his kid.
    He can file for paternity test, visitation and custody regardless of what you want or what's on the bc.
  11. #11
    fairisfair is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cooloonka
    What is the name of your state? maryland

    i am currently pregnant. the father is married to someone else which i did not find out about until after i told him that i was pregnant. he has since told his wife about the affair, the two of us have broken up, and they are working on fixing their broken marriage.

    basically the two of them are nuts. (ie. threatened already to take my child away from me then the next day stated that they will have nothing to do with my 'demon' child etc...)
    i will spare the other crazy details for now and just skip to the simple question.

    i do not want to put the father's name on the birth certificate at birth.
    so what rights would he then have as far as any type of visitation?
    is there any time limit for claiming paternity?
    can he order a dna test? if so can he then request he be put on the birth certificate?
    can i get child support without him being on the bc?
    and if he can do these things then can i request that his wife not be allowed to see my child? especially if i can prove her threats against him?

    all help is much appreciated and please do not criticize me as i have seen much of on this board. not everyone is so lucky to have a great legal education!
    You can put any name you want on the birth certificate
    At this point he has no rights, but he can certainly petition to establish paternity and establish custody and visitation
    Yes, he can request a dna test to establish paternity, yes, most states will then order that he be listed on the birth certificate as the father, although this has nothing to do with the name of the child.
    no you can not get child support unless he is established as the father
    No you can not say who can and cannot see the child when the child is with father unless that person can be proven to be unfit or unless you can obtain a restraining order against that person.
  12. #12
    fairisfair is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by lizbeth17
    Of course you can give your child your last name.... Why would you give him any other name?
    He can decide he wants visitation any time he wants...
    not hardly, he can petition for visitation any time he wants, and he can be awarded visitation at given times when the court determines it.
  13. #13
    cooloonka is offline Junior Member
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    do the courts still generally side with the mother when it comes to who has physical custody?


    and will the wife's income be included in determining what daddy pays for child support?
  14. #14
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cooloonka
    do the courts still generally side with the mother when it comes to who has physical custody?
    sigh.....
    It has more to do with status quo. It is next to impossible for a new father to get custody over a new mother, IMO.

    Quote Originally Posted by cooloonka
    and will the wife's income be included in determining what daddy pays for child support?
    You hate her, you want her court-ordered to stay out of your baby's life, you had an affair with her husband -- but you want a slice of her money? The answer is no.

    edited to add: YOUR income will be included in the calculations. MD is an "income shares" state.
  15. #15
    fairisfair is offline Senior Member
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    the courts are supposed to side with the child on who has physical custody, you know, based on what is best for the child.

    Check your states child support calculator to determine if other household income plays a part in determining child support.

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