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  1. #1
    ohcalcutta is offline Junior Member
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    Seeking 60/40 or 70/30 custody arrangement

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

    I have posted a couple of times about my on-going custody case.

    Due to threats of cutting back my time with our child, I petitioned the court to legally establish 50/50 custody. We’ve had about 60/40 in the mother’s favor for most of my daughter’s life (she is 3 ½). Paternity has already been established in court.

    Her mother has never been much for co-parenting, and has always had a tendency to make decisions without consulting me. For the second time this year, she signed up our child for a preschool program without discussing school choices, or even telling me about it. Last time she refused to even tell me whether or not I was listed as the father, or on the approved pick up list. After contacting the school they told me I had to contact the mother..so you can imagine how that went. This time, she called to inform me of the open house about three hours before it started, telling me I had to attend and bring our daughter with us. When I arrived, I questioned her about why I wasn’t informed or considered in the decision making, all she said was that she forgot.

    She is currently going to school full time and has been returning our child to me early on my days, because no one is available to care for her, and she is in class all day long. I do work full time, but I have a very flexible work schedule and am able to spend more time with our child. We have our first trial hearing coming up next week, and I was wondering what my chances of getting 60/40 or 70/30 in my favor may be, considering the circumstances. I have been keeping a record of all the early returns.

    The mother lives with her parents, and unfortunately the maternal grandmother has a history of interfering…so I would prefer our child be spending that time with me, if mom is unavailable.

    Thank you.
  2. #2
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ohcalcutta View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

    I have posted a couple of times about my on-going custody case.

    Due to threats of cutting back my time with our child, I petitioned the court to legally establish 50/50 custody. We’ve had about 60/40 in the mother’s favor for most of my daughter’s life (she is 3 ½). Paternity has already been established in court.

    Her mother has never been much for co-parenting, and has always had a tendency to make decisions without consulting me. For the second time this year, she signed up our child for a preschool program without discussing school choices, or even telling me about it. Last time she refused to even tell me whether or not I was listed as the father, or on the approved pick up list. After contacting the school they told me I had to contact the mother..so you can imagine how that went. This time, she called to inform me of the open house about three hours before it started, telling me I had to attend and bring our daughter with us. When I arrived, I questioned her about why I wasn’t informed or considered in the decision making, all she said was that she forgot.

    She is currently going to school full time and has been returning our child to me early on my days, because no one is available to care for her, and she is in class all day long. I do work full time, but I have a very flexible work schedule and am able to spend more time with our child. We have our first trial hearing coming up next week, and I was wondering what my chances of getting 60/40 or 70/30 in my favor may be, considering the circumstances. I have been keeping a record of all the early returns.

    The mother lives with her parents, and unfortunately the maternal grandmother has a history of interfering…so I would prefer our child be spending that time with me, if mom is unavailable.

    Thank you.
    Since status quo is in mom's favor, you may be pushing it a bit to get 50/50. I think its unlikely that you could get 60/40 or 70/30 in your favor.
  3. #3
    ohcalcutta is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    Since status quo is in mom's favor, you may be pushing it a bit to get 50/50. I think its unlikely that you could get 60/40 or 70/30 in your favor.
    Even though it hasn't exactly been 60/40 in mom's favor for the last three months and that since she is going back to school full time the earlier drop offs are going to be a constant occurances? Does this constitute a change of circumstances? What about her unwillingness to coparent, does that play in at all?
  4. #4
    BL
    BL is offline Senior Member
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    I'm not going back to read your prior post ,but do you have Joint Legal Custody ?

    That involves decision making on all major decisions .

    If so ,and she's not adhering to the orders ,bring it up and the trial.

    You have a right to access school records and review them independently ( FEPRA ) , and have forms corrected ( your name added , etc. ).

    You can request the court to give you first right of refusal - meaning when mom don't have them on her time ,you will.
  5. #5
    ohcalcutta is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BL View Post
    I'm not going back to read your prior post ,but do you have Joint Legal Custody ?

    That involves decision making on all major decisions .

    If so ,and she's not adhering to the orders ,bring it up and the trial.

    You have a right to access school records and review them independently ( FEPRA ) , and have forms corrected ( your name added , etc. ).

    You can request the court to give you first right of refusal - meaning when mom don't have them on her time ,you will.
    No, at this time there is no legal custody agreement.

    This time I was able to review the school records and add my name, but it's good to know that I have that right regardless.

    What happens with the court establishes first right of refusal and she does not adhere to it?
  6. #6
    BL
    BL is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ohcalcutta View Post
    No, at this time there is no legal custody agreement.

    This time I was able to review the school records and add my name, but it's good to know that I have that right regardless.

    What happens with the court establishes first right of refusal and she does not adhere to it?
    First off if this is a modification hearing ,request Joint Legal Custody be ordered . It won't hurt to request it and barring some oddity ,courts in NY like to see Joint Legal if parties can get along .

    If first right of refusal is denied ( regularly ) that would be a contempt of court issue .

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