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sex offender parental rights

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jigz88

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? ny

I was convicted of sexual abuse of a 3 year old girl when i was 18. this was 10 yrs ago. I'm a level 2 sex offender. I met my girlfriend told her of my offense. She met my parole officer who also told her about my crime and stated to her that i was a dumb kid who made a dumb choice when i was younger but that she was certain my chance of re offending was low. i completed therapy and was assets as a low re offender also. we got engaged had and she wanted to have a child. We broke up 6 months after the baby was born. she allowed me to have joint custody verbal agreement. so we would both spend time with the child. i would have her for one week at a time and she would have her for the next week. we spoke about getting back together many times. then she find a new boyfriend and now is not allowing me to even see my child. Ive filled for my custody back. Ive called my parole officer who is willing to write a letter on my behalf and also i had a girlfriend after her who was there with me who saw how great care i took of my child and is also writing a letter to vouch for me. do i have any hope of getting my child or am i wasting my time. Ive read the forums and i know the stigmas that go with being a so called pedophile but many a people who know me know that im not one. Ive gotten my life together after coming out of prison i am a manager of a restaurant my bosses all know of my offense, and have no prior convictions or any pending.. plz help
 


Antigone*

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? ny

I was convicted of sexual abuse of a 3 year old girl when i was 18. this was 10 yrs ago. I'm a level 2 sex offender. I met my girlfriend told her of my offense. She met my parole officer who also told her about my crime and stated to her that i was a dumb kid who made a dumb choice when i was younger but that she was certain my chance of re offending was low. i completed therapy and was assets as a low re offender also. we got engaged had and she wanted to have a child. We broke up 6 months after the baby was born. she allowed me to have joint custody verbal agreement. so we would both spend time with the child. i would have her for one week at a time and she would have her for the next week. we spoke about getting back together many times. then she find a new boyfriend and now is not allowing me to even see my child. Ive filled for my custody back. Ive called my parole officer who is willing to write a letter on my behalf and also i had a girlfriend after her who was there with me who saw how great care i took of my child and is also writing a letter to vouch for me. do i have any hope of getting my child or am i wasting my time. Ive read the forums and i know the stigmas that go with being a so called pedophile but many a people who know me know that im not one. Ive gotten my life together after coming out of prison i am a manager of a restaurant my bosses all know of my offense, and have no prior convictions or any pending.. plz help
You are going to need the help of an experienced family law attorney to help you. In your case I do not recommend you do this yourself.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Whether you consider yourself a pedophile or not, you have a criminal conviction for sexually abusing a child on your record. That is going to make it EXTREMELY difficult (if not impossible) to get physical custody*. It might be different if you were a 17 year old having sex with a 15 year old, but you were an adult with a 3 year old. Even if your parole officer write a dozen letters, why would the court put you back in that situation (oh, and btw, a parole officer is not qualified to asses your progress or risk of recidivism. You'd need a qualified and licensed psychiatrist.

You really only have a couple of options:
1. A good attorney MIGHT be able to get your record expunged after enough time has elapsed. I don't know if that is possible or if it would help, but talk to an attorney about it.
2. More likely, you're looking at supervised visitation. If you ask for supervised visitation, you will almost certainly receive it.

* You might be able to get joint legal custody, but physical custody is not very likely.
 

jigz88

Junior Member
how about getting custody to my mother who basically was the one taking care of her while i was a work. thx for the replies this is very hard for me to deal with and the mother knows this. she was very abusive to me thats why I decided to leave. last we spoke she told me she was the one in charge and has the upper hand. shes pretty much she using the child as a pawn.
 

milspecgirl

Senior Member
your mother would have to prove BOTH of you unfit. Then, you still would not be allowed to see the child unsupervised.

You need an attorney. You may be able to get some unsupervised visitation since mom obviously has not had a problem with it up till now, but it is really going to depend on the judge.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
how about getting custody to my mother who basically was the one taking care of her while i was a work. thx for the replies this is very hard for me to deal with and the mother knows this. she was very abusive to me thats why I decided to leave. last we spoke she told me she was the one in charge and has the upper hand. shes pretty much she using the child as a pawn.
A babysitter (even if the sitter is a grandmother) does not have legal standing for custody.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? ny

I was convicted of sexual abuse of a 3 year old girl when i was 18. this was 10 yrs ago. I'm a level 2 sex offender. I met my girlfriend told her of my offense. She met my parole officer who also told her about my crime and stated to her that i was a dumb kid who made a dumb choice when i was younger but that she was certain my chance of re offending was low. i completed therapy and was assets as a low re offender also. we got engaged had and she wanted to have a child. We broke up 6 months after the baby was born. she allowed me to have joint custody verbal agreement. so we would both spend time with the child. i would have her for one week at a time and she would have her for the next week. we spoke about getting back together many times. then she find a new boyfriend and now is not allowing me to even see my child. Ive filled for my custody back. Ive called my parole officer who is willing to write a letter on my behalf and also i had a girlfriend after her who was there with me who saw how great care i took of my child and is also writing a letter to vouch for me. do i have any hope of getting my child or am i wasting my time. Ive read the forums and i know the stigmas that go with being a so called pedophile but many a people who know me know that im not one. Ive gotten my life together after coming out of prison i am a manager of a restaurant my bosses all know of my offense, and have no prior convictions or any pending.. plz help

What was the relationship to you of the three year old child you raped? This most likely will be a relevant factor in court.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
how about getting custody to my mother who basically was the one taking care of her while i was a work. thx for the replies this is very hard for me to deal with and the mother knows this. she was very abusive to me thats why I decided to leave. last we spoke she told me she was the one in charge and has the upper hand. shes pretty much she using the child as a pawn.
That is not going to happen, unless both of you terminate your rights and your mother adopts.

I have to be honest - I wouldn't give a sexual offender, ESPECIALLY one who abused a small child, any sort of unsupervised time (let alone custody!) with a child. That Mom thought it was a nifty idea to have a child with you makes me question her own fitness. Frankly, *I* think the child should be adopted out to a more stable and fit set of parents.
 

jigz88

Junior Member
How bout if me and my ex come to a agreement. Does it still have to be approved by the judge or will that be the end of it.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Given that you have a parole officer, I suspect you would need to have a court's approval. Are you legally permitted around children?
 

jigz88

Junior Member
No longer on parole. Have Been off parole for 3 yrs now. I was babysitting the child. She was a friend of the family No violence was used except that the act of rape is of violent nature. I did not penetrate just put my hand where it should have not been. Not trying to justify the situation. I know where I was wrong. I know that I'm still labeled a sex offender. I jus know that I've corrected my life and stayed away from all the bad that made me even fathom doing such a horrible thing. Can some1 answer my last question also. I'm
Here for advice even if it's something I don't wanna hear. I need the truth. The last thing I want is for the courts to take my daughter away from both of us but I feel it's unfair if I've truely turned my life over and she knows I'm a great father. More than likely my ex mother is pulling the string because she did threaten her before that she would take the child.

*** also while on parole I was granted to be around children. As long as it was supervised
 
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mistoffolees

Senior Member
No longer on parole. Have Been off parole for 3 yrs now. I was babysitting the child. She was a friend of the family No violence was used except that the act of rape is of violent nature. I did not penetrate just put my hand where it should have not been. Not trying to justify the situation. I know where I was wrong. I know that I'm still labeled a sex offender. I jus know that I've corrected my life and stayed away from all the bad that made me even fathom doing such a horrible thing. Can some1 answer my last question also. I'm
Here for advice even if it's something I don't wanna hear. I need the truth. The last thing I want is for the courts to take my daughter away from both of us but I feel it's unfair if I've truely turned my life over and she knows I'm a great father. More than likely my ex mother is pulling the string because she did threaten her before that she would take the child.

*** also while on parole I was granted to be around children. As long as it was supervised
Then you've already gotten the best advice you're likely to get. You need an attorney.
 

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