Shared Legal Custody in MA, physical custody parent wants cross-country relocation

[GameDadMA]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

The ex-wife and I share legal custody of our pre-school children, she having physical custody and the children residing with her. The custody agreement does not include any language regarding notification of a desire to relocate, nor language restricting the same.

She contacted me yesterday evening in regards to a potential relocation from Massachusetts to the West Coast. She is interviewing for a position that would earn more than she makes now, and "allow her to live closer to work with better schools for less money." She has stated an expectation to take the children with her, visitation would be worked out if I decided to remain in MA. Finally, "we would need to go to Family court to work out the appropriate details if we can not come to an arrangement on our own." She has no family in the region.

As for myself, I have only asked questions. I've not made any statements or offered opinions regarding her intentions. For me to relocate would mean finding new employment in the same region and inflict a significant financial burden. I have met or exceeded all of the custody agreement's terms (spending extra time with the children, on time or early with CS payments, on time dropping the children off after visitations, etc.)

I do not wish to see my children move cross country, lose any visitation time with them, or see a reduction of my parental rights. Rather, the only modification I would be interested in is an increase in visitation and/or shared physical custody.

Any insight or opinions shared would be greatly appreciated.

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

The ex-wife and I share legal custody of our pre-school children, she having physical custody and the children residing with her. The custody agreement does not include any language regarding notification of a desire to relocate, nor language restricting the same.

She contacted me yesterday evening in regards to a potential relocation from Massachusetts to the West Coast. She is interviewing for a position that would earn more than she makes now, and "allow her to live closer to work with better schools for less money." She has stated an expectation to take the children with her, visitation would be worked out if I decided to remain in MA. Finally, "we would need to go to Family court to work out the appropriate details if we can not come to an arrangement on our own." She has no family in the region.

As for myself, I have only asked questions. I've not made any statements or offered opinions regarding her intentions. For me to relocate would mean finding new employment in the same region and inflict a significant financial burden. I have met or exceeded all of the custody agreement's terms (spending extra time with the children, on time or early with CS payments, on time dropping the children off after visitations, etc.)

I do not wish to see my children move cross country, lose any visitation time with them, or see a reduction of my parental rights. Rather, the only modification I would be interested in is an increase in visitation and/or shared physical custody.

Any insight or opinions shared would be greatly appreciated.

Let's start with what sort of parenting time you currently have. The children are in day-care? How old are they (i.e. in terms of how soon will they be starting for-real school? Are either of you SAHPs?

 

[GameDadMA]

Let's start with what sort of parenting time you currently have. The children are in day-care? How old are they (i.e. in terms of how soon will they be starting for-real school? Are either of you SAHPs?

Current visitation is T/Th from 5-7 PM, alternating weekends from noon Sat to 7 PM Sunday, alternating holidays and 2-3 weeks during the summer. We've swapped extended family visits up to two weeks long, primarily over Christmas. On visitation weekdays, I pick them up from day care at 3:30 and the alternating visitation weekends typically start at 9 AM. The children attend day care M-F and recently turned four years old. Neither of us are SAHSs, we both hold full-time employment.

 

[stealth2]

From the brief glance I had at MA relocation requirements, it's up to the relocating parent to show the court that the move is in the best interests of the child(ren). That's good for you. Your time with the kids is pretty limited, realistically speaking, but Mom has allowed you (some) extra time. If *I* were in your shoes, I'd file to keep the kids in MA and request that they remain in MA until the case is judged. I'd also have an attorney.

I'm also going to suggest you check out the forums at mensdivorce dot com - while we're good wrt legal issues, etc, the guys are good at strategy for Dads.

Despite her needing to prove best interests, it cannot hurt you to show your SuperDad-ness.

p.s. What do you know about her new guy? I can almost guarantee that is behind her desire to move.

 

[GameDadMA]

From the brief glance I had at MA relocation requirements, it's up to the relocating parent to show the court that the move is in the best interests of the child(ren). That's good for you. Your time with the kids is pretty limited, realistically speaking, but Mom has allowed you (some) extra time. If *I* were in your shoes, I'd file to keep the kids in MA and request that they remain in MA until the case is judged. I'd also have an attorney.

I'm also going to suggest you check out the forums at mensdivorce dot com - while we're good wrt legal issues, etc, the guys are good at strategy for Dads.

Despite her needing to prove best interests, it cannot hurt you to show your SuperDad-ness.

p.s. What do you know about her new guy? I can almost guarantee that is behind her desire to move.

Thank you for the swift replies and insight. I wasn't aware of the mensdivorce site and will definitely pay a visit there.

Obviously, I was hoping to avoid the expense of an attorney, but a consultation is already in the works.

Unless you know something I don't, I'm not aware of a new guy in her life. I believe this is more out of a desire to improve job security with a higher income.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

The ex-wife and I share legal custody of our pre-school children, she having physical custody and the children residing with her. The custody agreement does not include any language regarding notification of a desire to relocate, nor language restricting the same.

She contacted me yesterday evening in regards to a potential relocation from Massachusetts to the West Coast. She is interviewing for a position that would earn more than she makes now, and "allow her to live closer to work with better schools for less money." She has stated an expectation to take the children with her, visitation would be worked out if I decided to remain in MA. Finally, "we would need to go to Family court to work out the appropriate details if we can not come to an arrangement on our own." She has no family in the region.

As for myself, I have only asked questions. I've not made any statements or offered opinions regarding her intentions. For me to relocate would mean finding new employment in the same region and inflict a significant financial burden. I have met or exceeded all of the custody agreement's terms (spending extra time with the children, on time or early with CS payments, on time dropping the children off after visitations, etc.)

I do not wish to see my children move cross country, lose any visitation time with them, or see a reduction of my parental rights. Rather, the only modification I would be interested in is an increase in visitation and/or shared physical custody.

Any insight or opinions shared would be greatly appreciated.

Unless you want to cause the mother of your children considerable difficulty, you need to let her know up front that you will not agree to the children relocating...to not do so would be unfair.