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  1. #1
    Bostonladi is offline Junior Member
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    Question Shared vs Split Custody

    What is the name of your state? MA

    I having been reading alot about posters and responders talking about changing from shared to split custody.

    What is the difference?

    Does split custody work when parents live in different towns???

    Any information would be very helpful.

    Thank you!!
  2. #2
    momofrose is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bostonladi
    What is the name of your state? MA

    I having been reading alot about posters and responders talking about changing from shared to split custody.

    What is the difference?

    Does split custody work when parents live in different towns???

    Any information would be very helpful.

    Thank you!!
    Shared Custody is when (in New Jersey) you have more thann 35% of the time with the child. You see this term when determing child support mostly. Split Custody is 50/50.

    I sure hope 50/50 works a I am filing at the end of the year for it. I can tell you that during mediation when I filed for Shared last year that the Mediator told me that I chould just have filed for Split and woul dhave gotten it. Now that was the Mediator, not a judge, so I decided to leave the modification as it was - let it ride for a little over a year to prove tp the court that it is working and then file for Split. I live 30 miles away from my ex and do all the driving on my days. That is the one thing you have to think about when filing for split and living in different towns.

    Good Luck

    D
  3. #3
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bostonladi
    What is the name of your state? MA

    I having been reading alot about posters and responders talking about changing from shared to split custody.

    What is the difference?

    Does split custody work when parents live in different towns???

    Any information would be very helpful.

    Thank you!!

    I don't know that either of those are legal terms, really. They may be, but I've never heard them in a legal setting.

    I have a 60/40 split with my ex and call it split physical custody, even though in the parenting plan, it simply states that we have 'joint physical custody'.

    Edited to add:

    Yes, it works when the parents live in different towns. Or rather, it CAN work. But at least one of the parents has to be committed to making it work no matter how inconvenient it is, how long the commute gets when transporting the kids to school, how much of a pain it is to get to church and school activities in that other town, no matter what hoops have to be jumped through in order for the kids to play on sports teams.
    Last edited by CJane; 08-11-2006 at 08:09 AM.
  4. #4
    Bostonladi is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by momofrose
    Shared Custody is when (in New Jersey) you have more thann 35% of the time with the child. You see this term when determing child support mostly. Split Custody is 50/50.

    I sure hope 50/50 works a I am filing at the end of the year for it. I can tell you that during mediation when I filed for Shared last year that the Mediator told me that I chould just have filed for Split and woul dhave gotten it. Now that was the Mediator, not a judge, so I decided to leave the modification as it was - let it ride for a little over a year to prove tp the court that it is working and then file for Split. I live 30 miles away from my ex and do all the driving on my days. That is the one thing you have to think about when filing for split and living in different towns.

    Good Luck

    D
    By 50/50 I am assuming you mean half the time with you and half the time with your ex. Is your child school age??? If they are how will that work??? 1 week with you 1 week with the ex??? How will that affect school??
    My husband is thinking of doing the same we are only in the discussion phase. No lawyer contact or anything just "talking about it". I am trying to find out some information for him so that he/we can decide how to proceed. They too live in different towns and one question he had was would it be granted with all the back and forth?
    Your comments are very helpful.
    Thank you
  5. #5
    momofrose is offline Senior Member
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    My daughter will be 10 in 2 weks and entering the 5th grade - Sicne I already pick her up from school every Wednesday and EO Friday and bring her to school every Thursday and EO Monday I will simply add Thursday night so that each of us as 1/2 of the week. At least that's what I am hoping to do. So it would be every Monday and Tuesday night with DAD and every Wed and Thursday night with Mom and Friday's are every other depending on whose weekend it is.

    Again - this is not granted, but I am filing for it since I have already established that the one night during the week works and have already been bringing her back and forth to school for quite some time now.

    D
  6. #6
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by momofrose
    My daughter will be 10 in 2 weks and entering the 5th grade - Sicne I already pick her up from school every Wednesday and EO Friday and bring her to school every Thursday and EO Monday I will simply add Thursday night so that each of us as 1/2 of the week. At least that's what I am hoping to do. So it would be every Monday and Tuesday night with DAD and every Wed and Thursday night with Mom and Friday's are every other depending on whose weekend it is.

    Again - this is not granted, but I am filing for it since I have already established that the one night during the week works and have already been bringing her back and forth to school for quite some time now.

    D

    This is similar to what we have. Some differences that make is so I actually have more time with them, but very similar.

    I have the kids every Sunday night until Wednesday morning. Dad has them from Wednesday morning until Friday morning. We swap the Friday/Saturday nights and Sunday during the day.

    My state uses overnights to determine the number of days with each parent, so with me having every Sunday, it ends up that I have them 18 overnights each month.
  7. #7
    Bostonladi is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by momofrose
    My daughter will be 10 in 2 weks and entering the 5th grade - Sicne I already pick her up from school every Wednesday and EO Friday and bring her to school every Thursday and EO Monday I will simply add Thursday night so that each of us as 1/2 of the week. At least that's what I am hoping to do. So it would be every Monday and Tuesday night with DAD and every Wed and Thursday night with Mom and Friday's are every other depending on whose weekend it is.

    Again - this is not granted, but I am filing for it since I have already established that the one night during the week works and have already been bringing her back and forth to school for quite some time now.

    D
    So he should try the extra overnight during the week b4 going for anymore??
    Thank you so much for your help!!!
  8. #8
    Bostonladi is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CJane
    This is similar to what we have. Some differences that make is so I actually have more time with them, but very similar.

    I have the kids every Sunday night until Wednesday morning. Dad has them from Wednesday morning until Friday morning. We swap the Friday/Saturday nights and Sunday during the day.

    My state uses overnights to determine the number of days with each parent, so with me having every Sunday, it ends up that I have them 18 overnights each month.
    Thank you so much for your help. I guess this really is a possibilty. I had no idea it would be granted with the different towns and all. You have given me some hope.
  9. #9
    proud_parent is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bostonladi View Post
    I having been reading alot about posters and responders talking about changing from shared to split custody.

    What is the difference?
    Sorry to jump in so late on this one...

    In some circles, "split custody" is understood to mean that sole physical custody of one sibling is awarded to one parent and sole physical custody of another sibling is awarded to the other parent.

    Split and shared are imprecise terms; that is why we so frequently ask posters "What exactly do your orders state about custody?"

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