Sharing Bedrooms

[cabotage]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

My X and I have a custody arangement that allows for equal time rotating on a 2 week schedule for our 12 year old twin boy and girl. My X recently moved into a 2 BR apartment with their spouce, their 3 year old daughter and our twins. I have a 3 BR home and no other kids. As far as my research has led there may be no legal precidence with KY Housing Commission or with CPS. The only precidence that may exist is with the lease agreement with the apartment.

I am concerned for the well beeing of my kids. I dont want my 12 year old boy and girl sharing the same BR. I also dont want my son sleeping in a common area as the alternative.

Is there something I can do?

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

My X and I have a custody arangement that allows for equal time rotating on a 2 week schedule for our 12 year old twin boy and girl. My X recently moved into a 2 BR apartment with their spouce, their 3 year old daughter and our twins. I have a 3 BR home and no other kids. As far as my research has led there may be no legal precidence with KY Housing Commission or with CPS. The only precidence that may exist is with the lease agreement with the apartment.

I am concerned for the well beeing of my kids. I dont want my 12 year old boy and girl sharing the same BR. I also dont want my son sleeping in a common area as the alternative.

Is there something I can do?

Do you believe that some harm will come to the children from sharing a room?

 

[Isis1]

You can pay for a three bedroom house or apartment on behalf of dad. That's one option.

Or don't worry about it. Unless there is a court order prohibiting the children from sharing a room, there is nothing legally wrong with it.

 

[mistoffolees]

You can pay for a three bedroom house or apartment on behalf of dad. That's one option.

Or don't worry about it. Unless there is a court order prohibiting the children from sharing a room, there is nothing legally wrong with it.

Depends. Look up the state real estate code.

In my state, there is a rule on how many people can legally be in each bedroom.

Of course, I'm not sure that it would be easy to do anything about it, anyway, but it MIGHT be illegal.

 

[cabotage]

Do you believe that some harm will come to the children from sharing a room?

I believe that it is unethical for my X to mislead the apartment manager to get their way. Espically when the kids know the rules.

I believe that the kids need their privacy. This has not been the situation since the kids were young. They are not used to sharing rooms at either home until about a month ago. I think the kids will grow to resent the situation.

My X made financial mistakes that landed them in this position. The kids were made aware that they will be living with me most of the time until my X can sort out the mess. When they deviate from the origional plan for selfish reasons they make the kids also pay the concequinces.

 

[Isis1]

So you have full intentions on breaking the law?

 

[cabotage]

So you have full intentions on breaking the law?

I dont understand your question.

 

[Isis1]

I dont understand your question.

You don't plan on keeping to the court order? The every two week custody?

 

[Proserpina]

I believe that it is unethical for my X to mislead the apartment manager to get their way. Espically when the kids know the rules.

I believe that the kids need their privacy. This has not been the situation since the kids were young. They are not used to sharing rooms at either home until about a month ago. I think the kids will grow to resent the situation.

My X made financial mistakes that landed them in this position. The kids were made aware that they will be living with me most of the time until my X can sort out the mess. When they deviate from the origional plan for selfish reasons they make the kids also pay the concequinces.

Not all kids - even teens - are lucky enough to have their own rooms, or indeed ANY kind of privacy outside of the bathroom.

There will be far less chance of your kids resenting the situation if you don't show your resentment.

 

[cabotage]

You don't plan on keeping to the court order? The every two week custody?

I can't reason with my X. I requested that on her 2 week period during the week, the kids get off the buss at her apartment and stay the evening. Sometime around 9 they come to my home to sleep. On Friday and Saturday nights they can stay with her.

She has thrown the divorce agreement back in my face saying I am trying to prevent her from seeing the kids. I dont intend for her or I to break the law or even just bend the rules. I intend to enforce whatever rules apply so the kids dont have to sleep together in the same room.

 

[cabotage]

Not all kids - even teens - are lucky enough to have their own rooms, or indeed ANY kind of privacy outside of the bathroom.

If they have spent a lifetime (short) living in seperate rooms and then they have to change, is it not better to take the option that allows for more continuity?

 

[Proserpina]

I can't reason with my X. I requested that on her 2 week period during the week, the kids get off the buss at her apartment and stay the evening. Sometime around 9 they come to my home to sleep. On Friday and Saturday nights they can stay with her.

She has thrown the divorce agreement back in my face saying I am trying to prevent her from seeing the kids. I dont intend for her or I to break the law or even just bend the rules. I intend to enforce whatever rules apply so the kids dont have to sleep together in the same room.

But that's the point - you have a COURT ORDER saying that the kids are to stay there overnight.

You cannot unilaterally decide to change the terms of the court order just because you don't like your ex's living arrangements.

That's NOT how it works.

 

[ditzymiss]

I don't know about Kentucky, but in NJ children of the opposite sex must have separate bedrooms...perhaps check with Child Services in your area.

 

[Proserpina]

If they have spent a lifetime (short) living in seperate rooms and then they have to change, is it not better to take the option that allows for more continuity?

Kids adapt.

It's quite often the adults who exacerbate the stress of any given situation and make it harder on the kids.

 

[Isis1]

I can't reason with my X. I requested that on her 2 week period during the week, the kids get off the buss at her apartment and stay the evening. Sometime around 9 they come to my home to sleep. On Friday and Saturday nights they can stay with her.

She has thrown the divorce agreement back in my face saying I am trying to prevent her from seeing the kids. I dont intend for her or I to break the law or even just bend the rules. I intend to enforce whatever rules apply so the kids dont have to sleep together in the same room.

What laws are applicable that require her to keep the children in separate rooms? Does your court order require the both of you to provide seperate rooms for each child?