Sharing a room with the opposite sex?

[amethystrain]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Louisiana

My exwife just got a house with her boyfriend of 6 months. Her boyfriend has a 8 year old son.
I went to drop my girls (6&8) off at her house the other day for her scheduled day, and they showed me their room. Their room is the laundry room. But, it was fixed up to be a room. Even though it had the washer and dryer in it, still no big deal.
Later, I found out that my ex's boyfriend's son is sharing the room with my two daughters. The only bed that is in the room is a bunk bed.
Even though they don't actually share a bed, do I have a right to say I don't want my daughter's to share a room with a boy who isn't related to them?

I know boys get curious, and even though he is only 8, it still worries me. I don't want to make a huge arguement to my ex wife, if I have no legal standing.

Thanks for your help!

 

[jbowman]

You have a right to say it, of course. This is part of co-parenting... communication. You are more than welcome telling ex that you are uncomfortable. This should be your first option - before thinking about court.
You should also think about whether the 8 year old boy is there all the time. Does the boyfriend have full custody or does the boy only come on weekends?
This may be a good time to reiterate to your girls about what is appropriate and what is not when it comes to the opposite sex. This is your chance to teach and empower your girls.

 

[Silverplum]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/opposite-gender-siblings-sharing-bedrooms-439297.html

 

[amethystrain]

Thanks for your replies.

Her BF has his son 3 days a week, and the girls are only there 2 of the days that he has him.

I have talked to the girls about appropriateness of touching and what not with the opposite sex..etc

Silver- that post was about siblings. Here, the children are not related at all.

I guess I will call my ex to talk to her and explain how I feel and that it makes me incomfortable.

 

[onebreath]

It would worry me too, not now, but more in a year or two. In general, esp for your 8 year old, its a developmental time when the child becomes more conscious of their body and privacy NEEDS begin. Therefore, you want to support your daughters natural and healthy physical needs.

Legally, I do not know of any statutes that would prohibit the current situation.

I am sure seniors will respond here and either answer you or provide you with links you can look this up.

Even if there is no statute for this, I would consider taking this to court, and making a request that daughters have their own room. If they can't have their own room, they can have their own space. Parents could partition off part of another room and put bunk bed there for girls, boy keeps laundry room. Or vice versa. If you do take it to court, show your flexibility and your willingness to help find a used twin bed for son. I know this sounds lame, but I have found judges like it when they see a parent being proactive in the solution they are seeking to find.

Of course, communicate with your ex first and attempt to discuss your concerns and ideas with her before committing them to legal papers. If she gets your concerns and see's you are willing to help make things work, in a non-judgemental way, she may work with you on this.

I know others may not advocate taking something like this to court. I am not a legal professional by ANY stretch, simply saying, as a parent, this is the type of thing I would take to court. It would be very hard for me to swallow my developing 9 year old sharing the same room with a similar aged boy. Not even saying anything behaviorally would happen. Simply she is on her own becoming much more independent, closes her bedroom door now when getting dressed, takes private baths. This is all normal, natural (healthy) development. To have to share a bedroom with the opposite sex of someone not her brother at that, would interfere with that healthy sexual/physical development.