she doesn't want to see her father

[ladynred_32539]

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma
I live in Oklahoma but the childs father lives in Florida. My question is: My 15 year old daughter does NOT want to see her father. He hasn't seen her in over a year. He was physically and mentally abusive to her. HRS has a report they did with composite photos taken with the police of the bruises that my daughter had received from her father. However, the case was UNFOUNDED!!! How, when they had the proof? I don't understand. Now, my daughter is worried that her father will want to see her soon, possibly over the Christmas holidays, she refuses to see him. He has called her 3 times in the last year and I have to talk her into talking to him on the phone. She ignores his emails and refuses to email him. She's afraid of him for what he has done to her and gotten by with. And, she's afraid that if she goes to Florida to visit with him, he'll kidnap her. Or, beat her worse than before. What are HER rights? My lawyer says she has to go and that I have to provide 1/2 the way for her to get there. Do you see what that would be telling her? Mommy is making you go, and mommy is also helping it along. What do I do?

 

[Whyte Noise]

Until you take it back to court to get the visitation modified, then yes, she does have to go. But at 15, I believe a judge would listen to her and her concerns. When you file your petition, include the HRS reports in the filing so they will be considered. If you don't, and just walk into the courtroom with them that day and say "Oh, BTW, I have these too" he can, and more than likely would, tell you he doesn't want to hear it. If it's not filed with the petition it doesn't HAVE to be given consideration. That's where a lot of people mess up. They have all of this evidence and proof, but they can't use it because it wasn't addressed in the initial filing. I don't care if it's in a folder 5 inches thick, if it pertains to the case, file it.

As for you daughter refusing to go... I can't blame her. I wouldn't want to be in a situation like that either. BUT, a court issued an order for a visitation schedule. It is your responsibility to see that she goes. If not, you can be charged with contempt of court and withholding visitation. That's why it's imperative that if your daughter feels so strongly about not going, to where she wouldn't go and put you in a situation to where you'd face charges, then get to the courthouse and file the modification immediately. You don't absolutely have to have an attorney to do it. It's advisable to, but if you can't afford it, you can't. You can file it yourself pro se. The bottom line is that until you file for a modification and get this in front of a judge, you HAVE to follow the original court order. It's not that Mommy is making her go, and is going along with it, it's that Mommy is under a court order to make her go. Get that court order changed.

 

[amc822]

Legal representation is easier to get when there is domestic violence involved. Call your local Legal Aid office and ask them for help or a referral. You have my heartfelt sympathy my daughter and I have been there. Best of luck.

 

[ladynred_32539]

I have a lawyer. He has the documents from the HRS report. He refuses to take hold of it and take it to court. He says there's no evidence of proof therefore there is no case and he would be wasting my money. However, this would help in the fact that she is so afraid of her father, wouldn't it? How do I make this attorney listen to me? I do not want to go through the hassle of finding yet another attorney. I have an awful lot of issues that need to be filed with the courts, and my lawyer is just too busy to do it. I guess I'll have to do it all myself. It all ties in together too.

 

[ladynred_32539]

amc228, thank you for your reply and concern. I hate being in this position but, thanks to my exhusband I am now in the worst position I have ever had to be in. I am assuming that you and your daughter made it through this without falling completly apart, and I'm glad for you. I pray for the day to come like that for me and my daughter.

 

[stealth2]

I would start looking for a new lawyer.

 

[ladynred_32539]

Great idea, however, that takes alot of money. I'm in Oklahoma and I have to have a lawyer in Florida since that is where everything is at. I'm going to see what I can find out and get done with this for the here and now, then, IF I'm not satisfied with the outcome, I'll worry about getting a new lawyer.

 

[stealth2]

"then, IF I'm not satisfied with the outcome, I'll worry about getting a new lawyer."

The problem with this plan is that you can only appeal if there was an error in law - your not having a lawyer won't count. Otherwise, you can't just refile because you didn't like the outcome.

Although lawyers *are* expensive, in some situations you simply can't afford to do not have one.

 

[amc822]

I'm sorry I wasn't very clear in my first post. Pro bono representation is easier to get when domestic violence is involved. There are quite a few places that will help you for free if domestic violence is an issue. The way my daughter and I "worked it out" was her father beat the hell out of her yet again and got supervised visitation with her. She ran everytime he showed up, then several of her male friends threatened to beat him up and he just gave up trying to see her. I really hope your daughter doesn't have to go through anything similar. I assure you it's worth the hassle of getting another lawyer to prevent it.

 

[ladynred_32539]

Well, the thing with that is, I'm so far away and it still has to be done in FL. I have alot of paperwork to get together and proof alot of aligations against him, unfortunatly my current lawyer has most of it, so, I have to get it from him first. So, if I'm not happy with what my lawyer comes up with, I won't go to court with him. I'll have to wait until I can get a better lawyer. I've been through so many court dealings over the last 11 years, I pretty much know my limits on this. I just hate having to deal with the X all over again.