playsbytherules
Junior Member
iowa
Will try to keep this short but give as much detail as possible. Iowa. Divorced 2 years. The battle went on for 3 years because she wouldn’t EVER follow a single order or judgment. She thinks the rules don’t apply to her. I still don’t have visitation, or property ordered 2 yrs ago. I have paid every dime of alimony and CS since the order was signed (in fact paid every bill for her to live in the marital home for the 3 yrs while the divorce was underway, while she pocketed every dime of her income into a separate account.) So now, 2 yrs later, she filed bankruptcy.
In our decree it states the following things:
Each party shall assume and pay and hold the other harmless there from any debts they have individually incurred since the filing of the petition for Dissolution of Marriage… Respondent agrees to pay 20% of the obligation owed on the parties’ joint [Credit Card] …
…Within 60 days of the signing of this decree, both parties shall acquire a new credit card and shall transfer their obligation on the [Credit Card] to that new credit card.
Neither party shall, by bankruptcy or otherwise, discharge of shift responsibility or liability for any obligation for which he or she is responsible pursuant to the stipulation and Decree. Therefore, if a Petition in Bankruptcy is filed, any debt or obligation is discharged as to the party responsible in this Stipulation…and if the creditor then seeks payment or reimbursement from the other party, the responsible party under this Decree… shall indemnify and/or hold the other party harmless from the debtors obligation.
If either party shall violate these provisions, he or she shall be subject to contempt proceedings and the Court may make adjustments in other provisions as are just and equitable under the circumstances.
In the event either party to this agreement defaults upon his or her obligation…and the other party assumes the defaulting parties share… the party assuming the defaulting parity’s costs shall have a judgment against the defaulting party…
In the event either party must incur legal fees to enforce any provision of this agreement, the other party agrees to pay reasonable attorney fees so incurred for that purpose. Further, in the event a creditor proceeds against a party because the other party did not make the required payment, pay the balance due or defaults on said requirements in any way… the aggrieved party may be rewarded reasonable attorney fees from the defaulting party incurred for the purpose of defending against the creditors efforts.
Any debt not specifically assigned shall be paid by the individual who incurred the obligation in question. Each party shall assume and hold the other harmless from any obligation to pay the debts… including attorney fees and Court costs with the non-assuming party may incur in the defense of any claim, demand or legal proceeding incident to the debt, liability or obligation assumed by the other party.
She gets all of my bonus this year. (I had to agree to insane items to get it overwith
She didn’t ever transfer her share of the credit card, balance remaining $5000.
She fraudulently re-opened a previously closed JOINT account and withdrew $3000, 3 days before she filed bankruptcy. Bank wants it from me because my name was still on the account SHE reopened.
Court ordered her to release my property within 10days, it’s been 2 years, she still refuses – hold this and everything else she can think of over my head to see our children (I was awarded joint legal custody, EO Weekend, 2 evenings every week.
Doesn’t all of the above spell it all out pretty well – in the event of her filing BK, I would get a judgement against her for the amount she discharged to me? I took 80% of the CC debt – her taking 20% was part of the ‘property division’ though I got nothing in the list the judge signed.
So it’s bonus time. She saddled me with $8000 of her debt. Remember she never ever has done one single thing ordered by the court. She keeps the kids on my weekend, refuses to let me see them, they want to see me but won’t stand up for themselves and it kills me they are in this position so I don’t ask them to fight her. I just continue to call and remind them it’s my night and I’m sorry she won’t let them come over or let me pick them up. They understand and are unhappy, but I can’t force them and make it even worse on them….
Specific items she has been ordered to turn over, including tax refund checks and family heirloom furniture, US Savings bonds… she simply refuses – it’s all spelled out in the order signed by the judge, she just says ‘nope’ It’s cost me $20,000 in atty fees already and I just don’t have another dime to spend on an atty who never gets anything done. THE QDRO isn’t even done yet because the x won’t give up her 401k documentation – it’s ordered, she refuses, I don’t have any $ to fight her.
SO there is no way I will ever get a penny of the $8000 she has stuck me with even if a judge enters a judgement for me against her . SO I’m thinking this:
Bonus pay = $10,000 less $8000 she stuck me with = she gets $2000.
I’m merely carrying out on my own what is clearly spelled out in black and white in the decree, right? No judge would order anything different under these circumstances, right? One wouldn’t possibly expect me to get stuck with her $8000K credit card debt AND hand over $10k more – RIGHT? I simply don’t have it. There is no way I can payoff her $8000k except to use ‘her’ bonus money. I don’t have the money to fight her in court, and in order to get a judgement, I’d have to use an attorney = $$$$
Btw, I’m not wealthy, I put myself through school and have earned a good career over the years, but I barely scrape by while giving her $3000/mo – It leaves me a little over $1000 for me to live on while she lives like a queen – then files BK on $100K in Credit Card debt, (she accumulated in just 2 years) showing $2300 in assets… She’s a liar and a thief. Tonight was the very last straw. Went to get my kids for our visitation night. She says until she gets the $10k, I won’t see the kids. She says my withholding the $10k is the same as attempting to collect a debt and that I, as a creditor in her BK, can’t do that, so she’s calling the police…
I’ve bent over backwards to make everything right for her and the kids and I get screwed time and time again. WHAT DO I DO?? Appreciate your help so much!
Will try to keep this short but give as much detail as possible. Iowa. Divorced 2 years. The battle went on for 3 years because she wouldn’t EVER follow a single order or judgment. She thinks the rules don’t apply to her. I still don’t have visitation, or property ordered 2 yrs ago. I have paid every dime of alimony and CS since the order was signed (in fact paid every bill for her to live in the marital home for the 3 yrs while the divorce was underway, while she pocketed every dime of her income into a separate account.) So now, 2 yrs later, she filed bankruptcy.
In our decree it states the following things:
Each party shall assume and pay and hold the other harmless there from any debts they have individually incurred since the filing of the petition for Dissolution of Marriage… Respondent agrees to pay 20% of the obligation owed on the parties’ joint [Credit Card] …
…Within 60 days of the signing of this decree, both parties shall acquire a new credit card and shall transfer their obligation on the [Credit Card] to that new credit card.
Neither party shall, by bankruptcy or otherwise, discharge of shift responsibility or liability for any obligation for which he or she is responsible pursuant to the stipulation and Decree. Therefore, if a Petition in Bankruptcy is filed, any debt or obligation is discharged as to the party responsible in this Stipulation…and if the creditor then seeks payment or reimbursement from the other party, the responsible party under this Decree… shall indemnify and/or hold the other party harmless from the debtors obligation.
If either party shall violate these provisions, he or she shall be subject to contempt proceedings and the Court may make adjustments in other provisions as are just and equitable under the circumstances.
In the event either party to this agreement defaults upon his or her obligation…and the other party assumes the defaulting parties share… the party assuming the defaulting parity’s costs shall have a judgment against the defaulting party…
In the event either party must incur legal fees to enforce any provision of this agreement, the other party agrees to pay reasonable attorney fees so incurred for that purpose. Further, in the event a creditor proceeds against a party because the other party did not make the required payment, pay the balance due or defaults on said requirements in any way… the aggrieved party may be rewarded reasonable attorney fees from the defaulting party incurred for the purpose of defending against the creditors efforts.
Any debt not specifically assigned shall be paid by the individual who incurred the obligation in question. Each party shall assume and hold the other harmless from any obligation to pay the debts… including attorney fees and Court costs with the non-assuming party may incur in the defense of any claim, demand or legal proceeding incident to the debt, liability or obligation assumed by the other party.
She gets all of my bonus this year. (I had to agree to insane items to get it overwith
She didn’t ever transfer her share of the credit card, balance remaining $5000.
She fraudulently re-opened a previously closed JOINT account and withdrew $3000, 3 days before she filed bankruptcy. Bank wants it from me because my name was still on the account SHE reopened.
Court ordered her to release my property within 10days, it’s been 2 years, she still refuses – hold this and everything else she can think of over my head to see our children (I was awarded joint legal custody, EO Weekend, 2 evenings every week.
Doesn’t all of the above spell it all out pretty well – in the event of her filing BK, I would get a judgement against her for the amount she discharged to me? I took 80% of the CC debt – her taking 20% was part of the ‘property division’ though I got nothing in the list the judge signed.
So it’s bonus time. She saddled me with $8000 of her debt. Remember she never ever has done one single thing ordered by the court. She keeps the kids on my weekend, refuses to let me see them, they want to see me but won’t stand up for themselves and it kills me they are in this position so I don’t ask them to fight her. I just continue to call and remind them it’s my night and I’m sorry she won’t let them come over or let me pick them up. They understand and are unhappy, but I can’t force them and make it even worse on them….
Specific items she has been ordered to turn over, including tax refund checks and family heirloom furniture, US Savings bonds… she simply refuses – it’s all spelled out in the order signed by the judge, she just says ‘nope’ It’s cost me $20,000 in atty fees already and I just don’t have another dime to spend on an atty who never gets anything done. THE QDRO isn’t even done yet because the x won’t give up her 401k documentation – it’s ordered, she refuses, I don’t have any $ to fight her.
SO there is no way I will ever get a penny of the $8000 she has stuck me with even if a judge enters a judgement for me against her . SO I’m thinking this:
Bonus pay = $10,000 less $8000 she stuck me with = she gets $2000.
I’m merely carrying out on my own what is clearly spelled out in black and white in the decree, right? No judge would order anything different under these circumstances, right? One wouldn’t possibly expect me to get stuck with her $8000K credit card debt AND hand over $10k more – RIGHT? I simply don’t have it. There is no way I can payoff her $8000k except to use ‘her’ bonus money. I don’t have the money to fight her in court, and in order to get a judgement, I’d have to use an attorney = $$$$
Btw, I’m not wealthy, I put myself through school and have earned a good career over the years, but I barely scrape by while giving her $3000/mo – It leaves me a little over $1000 for me to live on while she lives like a queen – then files BK on $100K in Credit Card debt, (she accumulated in just 2 years) showing $2300 in assets… She’s a liar and a thief. Tonight was the very last straw. Went to get my kids for our visitation night. She says until she gets the $10k, I won’t see the kids. She says my withholding the $10k is the same as attempting to collect a debt and that I, as a creditor in her BK, can’t do that, so she’s calling the police…
I’ve bent over backwards to make everything right for her and the kids and I get screwed time and time again. WHAT DO I DO?? Appreciate your help so much!
