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  1. #16
    justicefordads is offline Junior Member
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    To add to the last post: The kids' counselors have also just taken many notes about the potential danger this "accused" child molester poses to my children. They are shocked that Child Services has done nothing. Hopefully they will make further reports.
  2. #17
    MominMass Guest
    How old are your children?

    Are you current with your support?

    How often do you see your children? Does the mother comply with your court ordered visitation rights?

    How are the kids doing in school. Are there counselors in their school(s)?

    Are both parties acting Pro Se?

    WHat have your kids told you about this potential child molester?

    What have you done to address your daughter's suicidal issues?

    Being a non-custodial father acting Pro-Se in a probate court in New Hampshire or Massachussetts is like being a black man in the south in the 1950's. You have a serious disadvantage. Unless there is a trial matter on the table, however, you can learn to file motions for further temporary orders on a regular basis without an attorney and be successful in court. Of course you can represent yourself at trial too, but that's more complicated than representing yourself at a hearing.

    I would start with the issues of "parent alienation" and the need for counseling. Gather your documentation on these issues. If the mother is not abiding with court ordered visitations, file for Contempt. You can do this yourself, but you will have to pay to have it served by a sherriff. File a motion for further temporary orders for the girls to get counseling and for the mother to pay for it. Use the information you have regarding her cruelty to the kids by letting them read court docs, etc.... You have monitored the situation enough to know that your kids are in trouble. DO SOMETHING about it. You can file motions every day until the court tells you that you can't!

    Google "Malicious Mother's Syndrome" and read about it. You will likely see patterns recognizable to your own circumstances. Judges want facts. Come up with compelling reasons why you should spend more time with your children
    and why your children need counseling immediately. You might also consider asking the court to ALSO order family counseling. IN your motion, ask that a hearing be scheduled in another month or two and that the mother bring proof from the counselor that she has complied with the order.
  3. #18
    justicefordads is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MominMass
    How old are your children?

    Are you current with your support?

    How often do you see your children? Does the mother comply with your court ordered visitation rights?

    How are the kids doing in school. Are there counselors in their school(s)?

    Are both parties acting Pro Se?

    WHat have your kids told you about this potential child molester?

    What have you done to address your daughter's suicidal issues?

    Being a non-custodial father acting Pro-Se in a probate court in New Hampshire or Massachussetts is like being a black man in the south in the 1950's. You have a serious disadvantage. Unless there is a trial matter on the table, however, you can learn to file motions for further temporary orders on a regular basis without an attorney and be successful in court. Of course you can represent yourself at trial too, but that's more complicated than representing yourself at a hearing.

    I would start with the issues of "parent alienation" and the need for counseling. Gather your documentation on these issues. If the mother is not abiding with court ordered visitations, file for Contempt. You can do this yourself, but you will have to pay to have it served by a sherriff. File a motion for further temporary orders for the girls to get counseling and for the mother to pay for it. Use the information you have regarding her cruelty to the kids by letting them read court docs, etc.... You have monitored the situation enough to know that your kids are in trouble. DO SOMETHING about it. You can file motions every day until the court tells you that you can't!

    Google "Malicious Mother's Syndrome" and read about it. You will likely see patterns recognizable to your own circumstances. Judges want facts. Come up with compelling reasons why you should spend more time with your children
    and why your children need counseling immediately. You might also consider asking the court to ALSO order family counseling. IN your motion, ask that a hearing be scheduled in another month or two and that the mother bring proof from the counselor that she has complied with the order.


    Thank you for your help, you made some good points and provided great information! My kids are 9 and 14, they are both boys, I do not have a daughter. I see my kids every chance I get. I have fought to get court ordered visitation times, but my X doesnt want anything too complicated, but she has withheld them from me, so I am going to ask the court for court ordered days and times. I am current with my support. I pay her about $950.00 a month for child support and the mortgage. She did ask me to settle this with her to avoid court, and I agreed. I was paying our agreed amount for 4 months faithfully, but then she took me to court and told the judge I wasnt paying the court ordered amount and I was found in contempt. She tried to get me thrown in jail, but I was able to come up with the $5,000.00 in seven days as the court requested. I was forced to borrow it. She did this to get me in trouble with the court, very sneaky and now she tells me she wants to settle again... I don't think so!

    The boys are not doing very well in school. My oldest son just vandalized the high school with paintballs. My X didn't even tell me about it. I found out two weeks after it happened from the school. At the beginning of the school year I sent letters and court orders to both schools to keep them aware of the situation with the potential child molester and the parenting rights. One school was very receptive to my letter. The other school is like pulling teeth to get them to acknowledge me at all. It's like I don't exist, they only contact me when I make a stink. The schools have counselors who are also helping the boys.

    My X has an attorney, I am Pro se. I have pretty good legal sense, but I am certainly far from being a lawyer. I have contacted Pro bono, but I make too much and they do not take the child support and mortgage from my income before deciding if I am eligible. So I am on my own.

    My kids think the potential child molester is the best person in the world, and think I am a jerk for stopping him from visiting them. This is normal behavior for kids. A good child molester can "Groom" the kids and the parents into complete trust in them. How many times have you heard this: I would have never guessed this person would do something so terrible.... He was a good man, and very nice to everyone?" Well, this is the same situation. The counselors have agreed that this is the M.O. of child molesters and to be cautious.

    I have done many things to keep this person away. I have contacted my X and told her to stop the visits with him, she refused and said I was a jerk. I contact the child molester himself and he said I was a jerk for doing this. I told the kids about my fears and my oldest kid said I was a jerk for doing this. I went to the local police department, they told me that there was nothing they could do without proof. I called the schools and they put him on the "Call Police if Seen on Property" list. I called DHHS (CPS) and they made another report on him. I told 3 different counselors about him. I told the kids teachers about him. I called the child molesters mother and told her about him, she said I was a jerk too. My mother called his sister, and she agreed he was a scary person to be around kids, but then told my mother to just keep it quiet, my mother freaked out and called DHHS as well. I told the neighbors where the kids are so that they could keep an eye out. I was also able to get a emergency court order to keep him away from the kids. And now I drive by the kids' house everyday to keep watch to make sure he is not around. My X tried to tell the court I was stalking her, but the court denied her claim.

    I tried to get another court order to get the boys into counseling, but the judge refused. A few days later, the GAL stepped in and over turned the court's decision, citing the boys are not only in need of counseling, but they need it right now and he kind of blamed my X for not doing it before. But of coarse he can't take sides, so he did the best he could with that.

    As far as my son's suicide issues: These will be dealt with by the counselor. I have made them very much aware of the situation.
    Last edited by justicefordads; 01-17-2006 at 03:47 PM.
  4. #19
    DelanaH is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by justicefordads
    To add to the last post: The kids' counselors have also just taken many notes about the potential danger this "accused" child molester poses to my children. They are shocked that Child Services has done nothing. Hopefully they will make further reports.
    Aren't counselors required to report it to the police if they suspect that the child is in danger?
  5. #20
    justicefordads is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelanaH
    Aren't counselors required to report it to the police if they suspect that the child is in danger?
    Yes, any professional is required by NH state law (maybe federal law) to report a situation that may be harmful to a child. But for some reason the teachers, lawyers, and counselors have not made these reports to my knowledge. I called DHHS (CPS) myself to tell them and they have really dropped the ball here. Isn't hard to believe that when a child may be in danger everyone looks the other way?? Well, at least the court and the GAL see the danger!
  6. #21
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by justicefordads
    To add to the last post: The kids' counselors have also just taken many notes about the potential danger this "accused" child molester poses to my children. They are shocked that Child Services has done nothing. Hopefully they will make further reports.

    Have you tried calling the Governors office?? Sometimes going further up the food chain will get some great results! Also call the news (paper and t.v.) perhaps you could get them interested in the inactions of Childrens "Services"...
    I agree with you about N.H. ....They don't do anything till it's too late...I think its that whole "Live Free or Die" thing!!
  7. #22
    MominMass Guest
    Man, what a mess. What sort of court ordered visitation do you have at the moment?
  8. #23
    justicefordads is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by baystategirl
    Have you tried calling the Governors office?? Sometimes going further up the food chain will get some great results! Also call the news (paper and t.v.) perhaps you could get them interested in the inactions of Childrens "Services"...
    I agree with you about N.H. ....They don't do anything till it's too late...I think its that whole "Live Free or Die" thing!!

    I have not called the governors office. It sounds like a good idea. I did something like this before about a doctor and that ended up having his license suspended for his actions, so it can be a powerful tool. I will give that some heavier thought.

    I don't think the media is a good choice for the kids. It is a good choice for me though, but I can't put them through that after all they have endured so far. They might be more interested in the case is the "potential" child molester, was convicted, then it's a story!

    Yeah, Live Free or Die! We are so free here, the goverment sells liquer on the highway's rest areas, then arrests us for drunk driving! It is a strange state isn't it?? Back asswards as they say.
  9. #24
    justicefordads is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MominMass
    Man, what a mess. What sort of court ordered visitation do you have at the moment?

    Yes, a big mess!! My father blames my lawyer for leaving the case and hanging me out to dry. He thinks I should go after her, but I don't have time to mess with a lawyer, probably not a wise idea The court has also granted her request to withdraw. I didn't file an objection to it anyways. I figuired if she wanted out, then her heart wasn't in this anyways.

    I have "Joint Legal and Physical Custody" which they just recently did away with the term, now New Hampshire has what we call a "Parenting Plan." It is really a joke! Just more paperwork for the court and more expensive to have a lawyer right it all up. So my visitations are not listed in the temporayr orders. The final hearing is scheduled for the beginning of March and I'm sure I will get one then.
  10. #25
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by justicefordads
    I have not called the governors office. It sounds like a good idea. I did something like this before about a doctor and that ended up having his license suspended for his actions, so it can be a powerful tool. I will give that some heavier thought.

    I don't think the media is a good choice for the kids. It is a good choice for me though, but I can't put them through that after all they have endured so far. They might be more interested in the case is the "potential" child molester, was convicted, then it's a story!

    Yeah, Live Free or Die! We are so free here, the goverment sells liquer on the highway's rest areas, then arrests us for drunk driving! It is a strange state isn't it?? Back asswards as they say.

    God...I HATE New Hampshire! I had to live there for 4 years... .....People say bad things about Mass ...I personaly love it here...Beautiful state with good schools and a caring government...(well it will be more caring when the idiot is gone)...
  11. #26
    justicefordads is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by baystategirl
    God...I HATE New Hampshire! I had to live there for 4 years... .....People say bad things about Mass ...I personaly love it here...Beautiful state with good schools and a caring government...(well it will be more caring when the idiot is gone)...
    Well, I must admit that I love NH, I really like the scenery here and the ocean, mountains, etc. I don't particulary care for the governement here. Very uncaring ad ruthless, especially the courts. I have been torn apart everytime I walk in the court house. I feel like no matter what I do is right. No matter what I do in this case, I have kept my kids in my heart when I do it. The judge gets her hands on it and beats me stupid with it. Why is it that we have posters for deadbeat dads, but none for ruthless mothers that hurt their children to get to their X? She needs her face on a poster! I guess I shouldn't complain too much, the TV and newspapers had her mugshot on there from her arrest when she abondonded the family dog and it ended up on an island. Unfortunatelty, the kids once again suffered from that too. ;(
    Last edited by justicefordads; 01-17-2006 at 06:22 PM.
  12. #27
    justicefordads is offline Junior Member
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    Anyone have any thoughts on requesting a jury hearing for divorce/custody? Hearing is in March, but I am having a hard time with the current judge. She seems to be a father hater.
  13. #28
    justicefordads is offline Junior Member
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    What is a Trial Management Conference?

    Does anyone know what a Trial Management Conference is? I do not have a lawyer and do not know what to expect. It is scheduled for this Wednesday.

    Also, when do I have to subpeona the witnesses I am going to call at the hearing?

    Thanks!!
  14. #29
    yecatskimball is offline Member
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    [url]http://www.state.nh.us/judiciary/rules/sror/sror-h3-172.htm[/url]

    194. TRIAL MANAGEMENT CONFERENCE. In cases scheduled for two or more trial days, the clerk shall schedule a trial management conference fourteen days prior to trial or as the court calendar permits. In cases requiring less than two days of trial, the clerk may, with leave of the court, schedule a trial management conference. Only counsel and pro se parties need attend the trial management conference. At this conference, the parties shall be prepared to address the time and manner in which all exhibits to be offered in the direct case of each party or exact copies of them shall be exchanged and marked. The anticipated subject matter, length, and order of testimony will be presented. Except upon motion for good cause shown, amendments to witness lists submitted at the Pretrial Conference shall not be permitted. To the extent possible, evidentiary disputes shall be resolved and legal issues briefed at this time. Issues will be limited and stipulated matters will be identified, the latter to be reduced to written agreement by the first day of trial.
  15. #30
    BL
    BL is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by justicefordads
    Does anyone know what a Trial Management Conference is? I do not have a lawyer and do not know what to expect. It is scheduled for this Wednesday.

    Also, when do I have to subpeona the witnesses I am going to call at the hearing?

    Thanks!!
    I will bump you up and give you a certificate authenticated , that you kept you post in one thread . CONGRATULATIONS !!!!! < applaud >

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