MominMass said:
How old are your children?
Are you current with your support?
How often do you see your children? Does the mother comply with your court ordered visitation rights?
How are the kids doing in school. Are there counselors in their school(s)?
Are both parties acting Pro Se?
WHat have your kids told you about this potential child molester?
What have you done to address your daughter's suicidal issues?
Being a non-custodial father acting Pro-Se in a probate court in New Hampshire or Massachussetts is like being a black man in the south in the 1950's. You have a serious disadvantage. Unless there is a trial matter on the table, however, you can learn to file motions for further temporary orders on a regular basis without an attorney and be successful in court. Of course you can represent yourself at trial too, but that's more complicated than representing yourself at a hearing.
I would start with the issues of "parent alienation" and the need for counseling. Gather your documentation on these issues. If the mother is not abiding with court ordered visitations, file for Contempt. You can do this yourself, but you will have to pay to have it served by a sherriff. File a motion for further temporary orders for the girls to get counseling and for the mother to pay for it. Use the information you have regarding her cruelty to the kids by letting them read court docs, etc.... You have monitored the situation enough to know that your kids are in trouble. DO SOMETHING about it. You can file motions every day until the court tells you that you can't!
Google "Malicious Mother's Syndrome" and read about it. You will likely see patterns recognizable to your own circumstances. Judges want facts. Come up with compelling reasons why you should spend more time with your children
and why your children need counseling immediately. You might also consider asking the court to ALSO order family counseling. IN your motion, ask that a hearing be scheduled in another month or two and that the mother bring proof from the counselor that she has complied with the order.
Thank you for your help, you made some good points and provided great information! My kids are 9 and 14, they are both boys, I do not have a daughter. I see my kids every chance I get. I have fought to get court ordered visitation times, but my X doesnt want anything too complicated, but she has withheld them from me, so I am going to ask the court for court ordered days and times. I am current with my support. I pay her about $950.00 a month for child support and the mortgage. She did ask me to settle this with her to avoid court, and I agreed. I was paying our agreed amount for 4 months faithfully, but then she took me to court and told the judge I wasnt paying the court ordered amount and I was found in contempt. She tried to get me thrown in jail, but I was able to come up with the $5,000.00 in seven days as the court requested. I was forced to borrow it. She did this to get me in trouble with the court, very sneaky and now she tells me she wants to settle again... I don't think so!
The boys are not doing very well in school. My oldest son just vandalized the high school with paintballs. My X didn't even tell me about it. I found out two weeks after it happened from the school. At the beginning of the school year I sent letters and court orders to both schools to keep them aware of the situation with the potential child molester and the parenting rights. One school was very receptive to my letter. The other school is like pulling teeth to get them to acknowledge me at all. It's like I don't exist, they only contact me when I make a stink. The schools have counselors who are also helping the boys.
My X has an attorney, I am Pro se. I have pretty good legal sense, but I am certainly far from being a lawyer. I have contacted Pro bono, but I make too much and they do not take the child support and mortgage from my income before deciding if I am eligible. So I am on my own.
My kids think the potential child molester is the best person in the world, and think I am a jerk for stopping him from visiting them. This is normal behavior for kids. A good child molester can "Groom" the kids and the parents into complete trust in them. How many times have you heard this: I would have never guessed this person would do something so terrible.... He was a good man, and very nice to everyone?" Well, this is the same situation. The counselors have agreed that this is the M.O. of child molesters and to be cautious.
I have done many things to keep this person away. I have contacted my X and told her to stop the visits with him, she refused and said I was a jerk. I contact the child molester himself and he said I was a jerk for doing this. I told the kids about my fears and my oldest kid said I was a jerk for doing this. I went to the local police department, they told me that there was nothing they could do without proof. I called the schools and they put him on the "Call Police if Seen on Property" list. I called DHHS (CPS) and they made another report on him. I told 3 different counselors about him. I told the kids teachers about him. I called the child molesters mother and told her about him, she said I was a jerk too. My mother called his sister, and she agreed he was a scary person to be around kids, but then told my mother to just keep it quiet, my mother freaked out and called DHHS as well. I told the neighbors where the kids are so that they could keep an eye out. I was also able to get a emergency court order to keep him away from the kids. And now I drive by the kids' house everyday to keep watch to make sure he is not around. My X tried to tell the court I was stalking her, but the court denied her claim.
I tried to get another court order to get the boys into counseling, but the judge refused. A few days later, the GAL stepped in and over turned the court's decision, citing the boys are not only in need of counseling, but they need it right now and he kind of blamed my X for not doing it before. But of coarse he can't take sides, so he did the best he could with that.
As far as my son's suicide issues: These will be dealt with by the counselor. I have made them very much aware of the situation.
The court has also granted her request to withdraw. I didn't file an objection to it anyways. I figuired if she wanted out, then her heart wasn't in this anyways.