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Shocking Decisions by Judge in Custody Case With Clear Sign of Child Abuse & Neglect

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justicefordads

Junior Member
Shocking Decisions by Judge in Custody Case With Clear Sign of Child Abuse & Neglect

State of NH - New Hampshire (Superior Court Divorce and Custody Hearing)

Hi, I was wondering if anyone has any ideas for me. I am trying to get custody of my children in New Hampshire. Mother has put kids in dangerous situations, Here is a brief rundown of the big issues at hand: Mother let the kids hang around with a potential child molester. I had asked her to stop and she refused and kept bringing the kids to see this person then used it to make me mad. A crazy sort of revenge I guess! I was forced to get an ex-parte court order which was granted. Since this happened I began watching the residence where the kids are to be sure they are safe when they are not with me. The mother noticed this and then tried to have a court order to keep me away, stating that I was "Stalking" the court did not honor her request. The mother has also created a dangerous living environment in the home by leaving broken glass in the play areas of the home, along with cat and dog urine and feces in the play areas. The home is always dirty, except during the GAL visit of coarse. The mother has also abondonded the family dog which ended up having to be rescued from an island by the fire department. She admited to the police that she did this because the GAL was coming and she didn't want the GAL to see the dog urine and feces on the floor during the home visit. She appeared in court and plead guilt to animal cruelt and animal abondonment. She had to pay for the vet bills as well as provide some sort of community service. She also showed the kids the hate mail and told them about the threatening phone calls they had received, she even let the kids read the hate mail that was addresses to her! The kids were scared beyond belief by this!! Mother has also kept the kids informed of divorce hearings every step of the way, forcing the kids to grow up in a hurry. Whenever we went to court, she would go home and dump it all on the kids. THe kids would call me crying asking me "why are you being so mean to us?" My oldest child is now suicidal from what I would believe to be from the divorce since he was stable before. I tried to get the kids into counseling but I was told I needed her permission! When I asked the mother for permission to bring the kids to counseling to deal with their problems she outright refused. She stated that I was only bring them children to counseling to help my court case! I was then forced to seek a court order to get the kids into counseling, the court refused! I was shocked by the court's wrecklessnes! The GAL stepped in and forced the mother to bring the kids to counseling, stating that the kids are in serious need of help and to do it right away! Two days later, the GAL submits the GAL report to the court and recommends the children stay living with the mother! The GAL didn't seem to have much of a preference either way, the report appeared a bit nuetral but kept the kids living where they have been living. I do not understand why the GAL would make such a recommendation. I know that it is the kids choice that made the GAL swing this way, but the kids choice has been tainted by parent alienation. He agreed that the boys are not stable one minute, but then took their preference under consideration in the GAL report! Of coarse the kids want to stay with the mother. I have been made to look like an evil father and thats all I have done was tried to help these kids. Now it appears that they will remain living with the mother that has put them in so many bad situations it makes me sick! There are a ton of issues, I am only mentioning the big ones. I only make $1,800.00 a month, $1,000.00 of that goes to the mother by the recent court orders. As a result, my attorney has dropped me for non payment of legal fees. I am now fighting my case Pro se. My kids need help and they need a stable and safe environment. Everytime I go to court, the judge slaps me with another shocker. Im convinced that courts take the side of the mother, and the father has to fight his way through the system. I thought the courts were concerned about the kids, but yet they argue about money first, then the kids second! Without money I don't think I will be able to get custody and do whats right for these kids, I am forced to go Pro se. Anyone have any hints or resources?
 


BL

Senior Member
justicefordads said:
State of NH - New Hampshire (Superior Court Divorce and Custody Hearing)

Hi, I was wondering if anyone has any ideas for me. I am trying to get custody of my children in New Hampshire. Mother has put kids in dangerous situations, Here is a brief rundown of the big issues at hand: Mother let the kids hang around with a potential child molester. I had asked her to stop and she refused and kept bringing the kids to see this person then used it to make me mad. A crazy sort of revenge I guess! I was forced to get an ex-parte court order which was granted. Since this happened I began watching the residence where the kids are to be sure they are safe when they are not with me. The mother noticed this and then tried to have a court order to keep me away, stating that I was "Stalking" the court did not honor her request. The mother has also created a dangerous living environment in the home by leaving broken glass in the play areas of the home, along with cat and dog urine and feces in the play areas. The home is always dirty, except during the GAL visit of coarse. The mother has also abondonded the family dog which ended up having to be rescued from an island by the fire department. She admited to the police that she did this because the GAL was coming and she didn't want the GAL to see the dog urine and feces on the floor during the home visit. She appeared in court and plead guilt to animal cruelt and animal abondonment. She had to pay for the vet bills as well as provide some sort of community service. She also showed the kids the hate mail and told them about the threatening phone calls they had received, she even let the kids read the hate mail that was addresses to her! The kids were scared beyond belief by this!! Mother has also kept the kids informed of divorce hearings every step of the way, forcing the kids to grow up in a hurry. Whenever we went to court, she would go home and dump it all on the kids. THe kids would call me crying asking me "why are you being so mean to us?" My oldest child is now suicidal from what I would believe to be from the divorce since he was stable before. I tried to get the kids into counseling but I was told I needed her permission! When I asked the mother for permission to bring the kids to counseling to deal with their problems she outright refused. She stated that I was only bring them children to counseling to help my court case! I was then forced to seek a court order to get the kids into counseling, the court refused! I was shocked by the court's wrecklessnes! The GAL stepped in and forced the mother to bring the kids to counseling, stating that the kids are in serious need of help and to do it right away! Two days later, the GAL submits the GAL report to the court and recommends the children stay living with the mother! The GAL didn't seem to have much of a preference either way, the report appeared a bit nuetral but kept the kids living where they have been living. I do not understand why the GAL would make such a recommendation. I know that it is the kids choice that made the GAL swing this way, but the kids choice has been tainted by parent alienation. He agreed that the boys are not stable one minute, but then took their preference under consideration in the GAL report! Of coarse the kids want to stay with the mother. I have been made to look like an evil father and thats all I have done was tried to help these kids. Now it appears that they will remain living with the mother that has put them in so many bad situations it makes me sick! There are a ton of issues, I am only mentioning the big ones. I only make $1,800.00 a month, $1,000.00 of that goes to the mother by the recent court orders. As a result, my attorney has dropped me for non payment of legal fees. I am now fighting my case Pro se. My kids need help and they need a stable and safe environment. Everytime I go to court, the judge slaps me with another shocker. Im convinced that courts take the side of the mother, and the father has to fight his way through the system. I thought the courts were concerned about the kids, but yet they argue about money first, then the kids second! Without money I don't think I will be able to get custody and do whats right for these kids, I am forced to go Pro se. Anyone have any hints or resources?
Your story seems a somewhat of my history was . My kids are grown now .

GAL , or in my case CPS ( and CPS only got involved by outside reports ), would go for visits , date was given to my X upfront , and the X's place would be clean.

Upon my visits , dirty diapers on the kids , beer cans strewn about , dirty dishes , " dirty all around , dog feces in all rooms , 5 guys passed out , as well as X , kids up by their selves .

You , or better yet an outsider needs to call 911 if you feel its an emergency , and/or CPS .

Even when my X was founded by CPS , they keep the kids with her , and made a plan w/ follow ups .

The Judge only sees what's in front of him/her .

BTW my X left the dog out in the winter while she left , the neighbor had it on the heater thawing the hind portion out . Why they didn't call it in is beyond me , but they eventually call CPS on her .

As far as your relationship with your children , send cards , letters , gifts , see them when you can , get a court order .

Be the big guy , show them kindness and love , not hate .

As they have shown , they've been brainwashed , eventually , when they get proper age , you can argue with them , and show how much you cared .

It can turn around .
 
Last edited:

justicefordads

Junior Member
Thank you for your replies. The threats were made by people who saw the news reports on TV on in the local newspapers. It made headlines from Lowell, MA to Manchester, NH (about a 40 miles radius). Many people were upset by the dog abuse. It happened last summer, but I still hear people talking about it in public places.

I have been keeping myself together and being the better parent. It is just so hard when I was the primary caretaker for so long. I got the kids reay for school everyday, school IEP meetings, social things, etc while she slept her life away. Now she claims it was her that did all these things for the kids. Of coarse, the GAL seemed to take her side on this, but it is just so far from the truth it's hard to believe she said that.

I'm not dealing with a very nice x here. While I was talking about reconciliation and counseling, she was saying horrible things about me to my friends and family. Making it a quest to destroy me. At her lowest point, she told me that she wished my cancer would return (I am a post thyroid cancer patient). So you see, I am not dealing with someone that is able to be humane.

I have made reports to the state of NH for her treatment of the kids, but the same thing happened to me. Child services calls in advance and she cleans up for them. Unfortunatly, she has fooled the GAL and DHHS (or CPS in your area). So my report seem to be inaccurate when they arrive to check the living conditions. Good for the kids though!
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
justicefordads said:
Thank you for your replies. The threats were made by people who saw the news reports on TV on in the local newspapers. It made headlines from Lowell, MA to Manchester, NH (about a 40 miles radius). Many people were upset by the dog abuse. It happened last summer, but I still hear people talking about it in public places.

I have been keeping myself together and being the better parent. It is just so hard when I was the primary caretaker for so long. I got the kids reay for school everyday, school IEP meetings, social things, etc while she slept her life away. Now she claims it was her that did all these things for the kids. Of coarse, the GAL seemed to take her side on this, but it is just so far from the truth it's hard to believe she said that.

I'm not dealing with a very nice x here. While I was talking about reconciliation and counseling, she was saying horrible things about me to my friends and family. Making it a quest to destroy me. At her lowest point, she told me that she wished my cancer would return (I am a post thyroid cancer patient). So you see, I am not dealing with someone that is able to be humane.

I have made reports to the state of NH for her treatment of the kids, but the same thing happened to me. Child services calls in advance and she cleans up for them. Unfortunatly, she has fooled the GAL and DHHS (or CPS in your area). So my report seem to be inaccurate when they arrive to check the living conditions. Good for the kids though!

I remember this....It made the Lynn paper as well...Boston too!!
What did you mean about exposing the kids to a "potential" child molester?? Do you mean someone that was accused but not convicted of molestation?
 

justicefordads

Junior Member
baystategirl said:
I remember this....It made the Lynn paper as well...Boston too!!
What did you mean about exposing the kids to a "potential" child molester?? Do you mean someone that was accused but not convicted of molestation?
The man was accused many times. I witnessed him take in a 9 yeard old boy into his home and set up a bed right next to his. DHHS (CPS) was notifed about this by multiple sources, but they called to set up an appointment with him to view the situation. At which point he would move the make-shift bed that was right next to his to another floor in the home and then when they left, he would move it back. He defended his actions completely. His own sister acknowleged the problem but told everyone to just keep everything quiet so that it is not made into a big deal. It was a bad situation seeing the man lived and worked in a daycare center. I would have thought the state would have been extra careful with this given the circumstances where small children spent their entire day and was even taken out of the day care center by this man to go on field trips and extra activities, like sledding and going for walks.

This accused person has many other undiagnosed issues. He praised the 911 attacks, saying that "it was the best thing that could have happened" and "Our country deserved it anyways."

This man was liked by almost everyone. I spoke with the counselor for my kids the other day for the first time and she told me that the M.O. of a child molester is to be liked by everyone, trust is gained that way. It is called "Grooming." They groom the child and the parents, installing trust is their profession. With trust comes opportunity, with opportunity comes a parent's worst nightmare.
 

acmb05

Senior Member
I know this sounds terrible

justicefordads said:
The man was accused many times. I witnessed him take in a 9 yeard old boy into his home and set up a bed right next to his. DHHS (CPS) was notifed about this by multiple sources, but they called to set up an appointment with him to view the situation. At which point he would move the make-shift bed that was right next to his to another floor in the home and then when they left, he would move it back. He defended his actions completely. His own sister acknowleged the problem but told everyone to just keep everything quiet so that it is not made into a big deal. It was a bad situation seeing the man lived and worked in a daycare center. I would have thought the state would have been extra careful with this given the circumstances where small children spent their entire day and was even taken out of the day care center by this man to go on field trips and extra activities, like sledding and going for walks.

This accused person has many other undiagnosed issues. He praised the 911 attacks, saying that "it was the best thing that could have happened" and "Our country deserved it anyways."

This man was liked by almost everyone. I spoke with the counselor for my kids the other day for the first time and she told me that the M.O. of a child molester is to be liked by everyone, trust is gained that way. It is called "Grooming." They groom the child and the parents, installing trust is their profession. With trust comes opportunity, with opportunity comes a parent's worst nightmare.

But the court cannot punish someone for "Potentially" being something. They need proof and unless or until one of these children steps up and says something he cant be punished.

If in fact it all turns out to be true then he needs to be strung up on a yard arm and beat to death.

Just because he feels this way does not make him a mental case, there are many people in America who feel that way, I hear it all the time and being ex-military makes me wanna beat thier ass but bottom line he lives in America he has a right to say whatever he wants.
 

justicefordads

Junior Member
acmb05 said:
But the court cannot punish someone for "Potentially" being something. They need proof and unless or until one of these children steps up and says something he cant be punished.

If in fact it all turns out to be true then he needs to be strung up on a yard arm and beat to death.

Just because he feels this way does not make him a mental case, there are many people in America who feel that way, I hear it all the time and being ex-military makes me wanna beat thier ass but bottom line he lives in America he has a right to say whatever he wants.

Well, I agree that he is innocent until proven guilty. I feel very strongly about that and always have. People are convicted in the media and it's wrong. If someone is a "Potential" danger, I can tell you right now that my kids will not be anywhere around that person if I have anything to say about it.

Being an American gives us certain freedoms, and one of them is freedom of speech, and again, I should be the spokesman for that one too. I believe in the constitution, that is, until the goverment makes their little changes to it to better meet thier own needs, which I strongly disagree with.

The bottom line for me is that we are talking about children here. Kids do not just tell you whats going on. In fact, many people don't ever tell anyone what happened to them, ever! So when we are dealing with a situation like this, it is always better to be safe than sorry. His reports to DHHS (CPS) date back many years and I don't know a single person that knows what he has done in the past that would let him babysit their kids. and I certainly do not want anyone making my kids believe that 911 was a good thing for this country. I will teach my kids to make their own conclusions
 

justicefordads

Junior Member
To add to the last post I made: The last straw with this "accused child molester" was when he told me that he "felt like he had rights to see my kids whenever he wanted." I don't think so!
 

casa

Senior Member
justicefordads said:
To add to the last post I made: The last straw with this "accused child molester" was when he told me that he "felt like he had rights to see my kids whenever he wanted." I don't think so!
Don't stop monitoring...and reporting. Try to keep correspondence with Mom in writing &/or e-mail. Let return calls go to voice mail or answering machine whenever possible. See what <if anything> becomes of that.

Get used to the fact that you must start a long process of gathering documentation. Start now.
 

justicefordads

Junior Member
casa said:
Don't stop monitoring...and reporting. Try to keep correspondence with Mom in writing &/or e-mail. Let return calls go to voice mail or answering machine whenever possible. See what <if anything> becomes of that.

Get used to the fact that you must start a long process of gathering documentation. Start now.
Very good advice casa! As a matter of fact, when I could afford an attorney, she told me the same thing. As a result, I have two 5" binders of information sitting in front of me. I was able to pump many emails from the x and in many of them it shows the proof I was hoping to get. I began working on that as soon as we were separated over a year ago. My lawyer told me that I have a lot of excellent information, including a 34-page daily journal (which I am still writing in). I just wish I still had my lawyer around to use all this information to help save my kids! Like I said in a previous post, I am doing this Pro se and I am very nervous about that!
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
justicefordads said:
To add to the last post I made: The last straw with this "accused child molester" was when he told me that he "felt like he had rights to see my kids whenever he wanted." I don't think so!
Who is this potential child molester? Mom's dad, mom's brother, another relative", mom's boyfriend?
 

justicefordads

Junior Member
LdiJ said:
Who is this potential child molester? Mom's dad, mom's brother, another relative", mom's boyfriend?
The potential child molester is a relative of mine, not immediate family. He lives here in New Hampshire and very close to where my children live.
 

Zephyr

Senior Member
LdiJ said:
Who is this potential child molester? Mom's dad, mom's brother, another relative", mom's boyfriend?

To add to this, have there evr been any accusations against this person? what is his access to the children? how did you come to the conclusion that he is a danger?
 

justicefordads

Junior Member
Zephyr said:
To add to this, have there evr been any accusations against this person? what is his access to the children? how did you come to the conclusion that he is a danger?
Like I mentioned in a previous post, this person has brought a 9 year old boy into his home and slept with him in his bedroom. The man is in his mid 30's and I think that it is extremely innappropriate for this person to have done this. The boy ended up living with him until he turned 18 and then began to live back with his parents in the next town. The boys parents are alcoholics and they didn't care if the boy was there or not. He has had many reports through DHHS (CPS) but all reports are unfounded because he has been able to make other arangements when they called to warn him that they were coming. I witnessed myself them moving this little boy's bedroom to another floor in the home until DHHS completed their investigation. He has also told me that he felt like he had "rights to my kids." He has come to the house where the kids are and played with them outside before announcing he was there. This person lives in a daycare center and has access to many children. All of our reports, and to my shock many other reports, have all gone unfounded or ignored by DHHS (CPS). They do not do anything in this state (New Hampshire) until they have many reports and of coarse they also need prrof, which they will never get when they give the acussed person 2 weeks notice of their arrival. This person used to have access to my kids through my X. She didn't understand the danger, and she used it to make me mad, throwing it in my face afterwards. I currently have a court order to keep this person away from my kids, so it is good that the court sees the same threat that I see with this person.
 
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