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Should I Settle Custody Out of Court

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LATeacher

Junior Member
Los Angeles, CA

My son's mother is attempting to modify our visitation schedule by giving me significantly less time with our son. She claims that I'm violent, irresponsible and claims that I also don't have a stable home, which are all lies. She can't prove anything because I'm notne of these things. She has affidavits from her mother and husband claiming that they have witnessed me harassing her, but that's all the alleged evidence she has. She has violated out visitation agreement numerous times by not giving me our son on weekend visits, for which I have police reports. When I told her that i was going to take her to court if she doesnt comply, this is when she filed for the modification with all of these crazy allegations. She also is demanding more child support and saying that I violated a retraining order she took out against me 2 years ago. She did this after I won joint legal/physical custody of our son and used it to attempt to get the custody changed, but it didn't work. The judge only ordered I must have limited contact with her. Her lawyer has already gotten in trouble with the judge for improper service and filing court papers literally the day we had our hearing. I told the judge I needed a lawyer because I was overwhelmed by everything, and she granted me a continuance until the end of June. Since then, her lawyer has emailed me requesting that we settle everything out of court so "I don't have to hire a lawyer" and "we don't have to go back to court." Is this a good idea, or is he trying to screw me. I just want to visitation to stay as is, but I don't see her giving me that. Also, I know she can get in trouble for all the violations of the order and I want make-up time. She really won't agree to that. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Im just wondering if I should go ahead and get the lawyer, and what her lawyer might be thinking.
 


TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
Los Angeles, CA

My son's mother is attempting to modify our visitation schedule by giving me significantly less time with our son. She claims that I'm violent, irresponsible and claims that I also don't have a stable home, which are all lies. She can't prove anything because I'm notne of these things. She has affidavits from her mother and husband claiming that they have witnessed me harassing her, but that's all the alleged evidence she has. She has violated out visitation agreement numerous times by not giving me our son on weekend visits, for which I have police reports. When I told her that i was going to take her to court if she doesnt comply, this is when she filed for the modification with all of these crazy allegations. She also is demanding more child support and saying that I violated a retraining order she took out against me 2 years ago. She did this after I won joint legal/physical custody of our son and used it to attempt to get the custody changed, but it didn't work. The judge only ordered I must have limited contact with her. Her lawyer has already gotten in trouble with the judge for improper service and filing court papers literally the day we had our hearing. I told the judge I needed a lawyer because I was overwhelmed by everything, and she granted me a continuance until the end of June. Since then, her lawyer has emailed me requesting that we settle everything out of court so "I don't have to hire a lawyer" and "we don't have to go back to court." Is this a good idea, or is he trying to screw me. I just want to visitation to stay as is, but I don't see her giving me that. Also, I know she can get in trouble for all the violations of the order and I want make-up time. She really won't agree to that. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Im just wondering if I should go ahead and get the lawyer, and what her lawyer might be thinking.
An attorney would be very helpful at this point. :cool:
 

single317dad

Senior Member
Los Angeles, CA

My son's mother is attempting to modify our visitation schedule by giving me significantly less time with our son. She claims that I'm violent, irresponsible and claims that I also don't have a stable home, which are all lies. She can't prove anything because I'm notne of these things. She has affidavits from her mother and husband claiming that they have witnessed me harassing her, but that's all the alleged evidence she has. She has violated out visitation agreement numerous times by not giving me our son on weekend visits, for which I have police reports. When I told her that i was going to take her to court if she doesnt comply, this is when she filed for the modification with all of these crazy allegations. She also is demanding more child support and saying that I violated a retraining order she took out against me 2 years ago. She did this after I won joint legal/physical custody of our son and used it to attempt to get the custody changed, but it didn't work. The judge only ordered I must have limited contact with her. Her lawyer has already gotten in trouble with the judge for improper service and filing court papers literally the day we had our hearing. I told the judge I needed a lawyer because I was overwhelmed by everything, and she granted me a continuance until the end of June. Since then, her lawyer has emailed me requesting that we settle everything out of court so "I don't have to hire a lawyer" and "we don't have to go back to court." Is this a good idea, or is he trying to screw me. I just want to visitation to stay as is, but I don't see her giving me that. Also, I know she can get in trouble for all the violations of the order and I want make-up time. She really won't agree to that. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Im just wondering if I should go ahead and get the lawyer, and what her lawyer might be thinking.
If the "witnesses" are prepared to testify in court, their claims may be taken seriously by the judge. No one here can guess whether they will be or how much weight would be given to those claims, but you shouldn't dismiss the possibility.

The restraining order might work against you, depending on the exact wording, exactly what your ex claims you did, and whether she can prove any of it.

If you want make up time and she's not willing to give it, then you'll have to go to court.

Your ex's lawyer represents her, not you. Anything the lawyer offers will be in your ex's best interest, not necessarily yours.

If you want to "settle this out of court", then inform the lawyer of your terms, and let him know you're willing to help your ex avoid a show cause hearing if she cooperates. Otherwise, you should speak to a family law attorney right away.
 
Tell the attorney you are agreeable to mediation and if that fails get an attorney and fight this tooth and nails. I always recommend mediation as any parenting plan made/agreeded upon by the parents are normally the best because no one has or knows your child better than you.
 

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