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Should i write a letter to the judge?

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shakejoint

Junior Member
California(only U.S. law)?
My ex is not allowing my girlfriend from picking my children up from school. The Judge has been told that I moved out with my girlfriend only 2 months after my separation.
A little background
My co worker of 6 yrs moved into our house with her 10 yr old son. My wife and I were financially struggling. She agreed we needed a roommate.
She had a single friend she wanted to live with us. I was concerned for my children so we decided no to him.

6 months later (in August)I caught her and this guy (also her friend from work) kissing on my front lawn after he had stayed the night at our house (I did not know this was going on when I allowed him to stay). She said she did not sleep with him then later that week she said it happened once.

We decided to stayed together she said she would not lie or do it again.
In October she started a new job. She traveled for her job. In December i caught her spending 1900.00 on a vacation t0 Catalina island. She said she was on a business trip.

I decided I could not live like that.

I then moved in to another apartment with this girl I had worked with and trusted around my children. I needed to save money.

That was a year ago. Now we are engaged. However my ex has portrayed me in court as the cheater. she has filed 2 OSC to change custody. She does not want my girlfriend cooking for my children. She was helping my by picking them up from school so i get home from work and did not waste time driving. I only have them from 2-7 30 pm Tuesday and Wednesdaqy evenings and every other weekend.
I have not said anything to the judge about why our marriage broke up, however she has given her side. Now I think he is leaning towards giving her more custody because he thinks I was the cheater who left.

She has written him several letters. I was told not to talk badly of her because it would look bad for me.
However this is not working out. I want more time with my children. I love close to where they live now.

She also has her parents taking care of the children when she works and goes to school over 55 hrs a week.

Should I write him a letter to explaining things?
Should I get a Lawyer? I really can not afford one at this point.
 


shakejoint

Junior Member
Please just tell me if I would benefit from writing a letter to the judge. My children's well being is at stake here. I made a mistake, I am sorry. I will make sure to stay with only this thread from this point on.
 
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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Please just tell me if I would benefit from writing a letter to the judge. My children's well being is at stake here. I made a mistake, I am sorry. I will make sure to stay with only this thread from this point on.
letters to the judge are a waste of time.
 
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Do not write to the judge. It's against the Judicial Canon of Ethics for judges or commissioners to receive ex parte letters from litigants (I have a copy). If the judge received letters from your Ex and made rulings based on sympathy derived from those letters, then you can report the judge to the Commission on Judicial Performance.

Where you address the allegations is in your court filings. If you do not have an attorney and need some help filling out the necessary forms, almost every county has a Family Law Facilitators Office where you can get help. They won't give you legal advice, but will help with the forms.
 

gr8rn

Senior Member
California(only U.S. law)?


6 months later (in August)I caught her and this guy

She said she did not sleep with him then later that week she said it happened once.

She traveled for her job. In December i caught her spending 1900.00 on a vacation t0 Catalina island. She said she was on a business trip.

I decided I could not live like that.

I then moved in to another apartment with this girl I had worked with and trusted around my children.

That was a year ago. Now we are engaged.

Now I think he is leaning towards giving her more custody because he thinks I was the cheater who left.
Can you explain something? You separated from her because she was on a business trip and moved in with a girl you are now engaged to. And you are afraid that her letters are going to make you look bad? Because the judge thinks you are a cheater who left? Really? What do you call what you did?
 

shakejoint

Junior Member
Can you explain something? You separated from her because she was on a business trip and moved in with a girl you are now engaged to. And you are afraid that her letters are going to make you look bad? Because the judge thinks you are a cheater who left? Really? What do you call what you did?
She went on a vacation with her boyfriend at the time. She kept saying she was not sleeping with him and she was. I moved in with a friend that was mine and my wifes room mate at the time. After a few months of separation we started dating. I left because she kept cheating on me and lying about all of it. She was also putting us in debt while doing all of this. My wife claims i entered a new relationship to quickly after the separation to the judge. She claims my GF spied on her.
 

DAD10

Registered User
A Letter to the Presiding Judge

In this instance would probably not be a wise move. As OHIOGAL stated "letters to the judge are a waste of time" is very solid advice.
 
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