Single Mothers Rights??

[lamagnolia]

What is the name of your state? Louisiana

I had a relationship with a man 3 years ago which resulted in my beautiful 3 year old daughter. At the time of conception, we were in a new relationship and both agreed that we didn't want to get married at that time, and that I would be the primary parent for our daughter. We both moved to different states, during my pregnancy and have been seperate ever since. He did not see her until she was about 18 months old and has never paid child support nor has he requested any regular visits. His last visit with her was in January and have not heard lately about any future visits. I am preparing to send her to a private school beginning in the fall, since the public schools in my city are plagued with violence and poor education standards. It will be very difficult for me to pay 100% of the tuition costs and I have considered requesting assistance from him, however, I do not want to open a door of custody and visitations that would require me to send her to another state during holidays or weekend visits with him. In the past, when I have mentioned the lack of support I have received from him, he often responds with a semi-threat of court and formalized visitations. Don't get me wrong - I have never discouraged him from seeing or visiting her, however, since I don't feel his inconsistent interest in her is healthy for her - I am a little concerned in placing him in her life on a full time / regular basis. Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated...

 

[stepmom&mom]

Realistically, since you were never married, he has no obligation to the child unless custody/visitation/support has been established (which you indicated that it has not.) However, if you do intend to get support ordered, then he will have every right to petition the courts for visitation and possibly custody.

As for the private school, such is not calculated into child support and he would not be responsible to pay any portion of it.

 

[haiku]

you don't get to have your cake and eat it too...if you want financial help, expect him to possibly go for his legal rights. Of which, currently he doesn't have, and therefore is under no legal obligation to pay support.

 

[George1620]

Realistically, since you were never married, he has no obligation to the child unless custody/visitation/support has been established (which you indicated that it has not.) However, if you do intend to get support ordered, then he will have every right to petition the courts for visitation and possibly custody.

As for the private school, such is not calculated into child support and he would not be responsible to pay any portion of it.

I agree with the above however if you do end up getting support from him you could use it towards her schooling but they wouldnt give you more because you want to send her to a private school it doesnt work that way. You could put the support money towards whatever you want regarding the child. However the odds of dad getting custody after not seeing the child or being around the child are slim to none, he could though work his way up to it. He'd Prob. start out with supervised visitation. I would document all visitations that hes had including, time date and length of visit to show the lack of interest that hes had.

 

[dallas702]

Take your chances and go for the support. It is for your daughter's welfare and it could make a huge difference in her future.

Since he hasn't made much effort to see her during the past 3 years, what makes you think he will do any better in the future? It will still be up to a judge to decide how much time Mr. Sperm Donor will get. He will, however, order the payment of 3 years of support that should have been paid (if you ask for it). That money could make the difference of a good education for your daughter. You just have to convince the judge that extended visits with the sperm donor are not in your daughter's best interest until she is older, and IF he comes there and makes himself more familiar to her. Paying CS doesn't guarantee visitation. he will have to make his case for that. His lack of support and very infrequent contact isn't going to buy him much sympathy from the judge...or visitation time that might disrupt your daughter's life.

Go get HER support money.

And, sperm donor can be ordered to pay for 1/2 of reasonable education expenses above and beyond normal CS.

 

[stealth2]

And, sperm donor can be ordered to pay for 1/2 of reasonable education expenses above and beyond normal CS.

This normally does NOT include private school tuition unless (a) the parents were married and the child attended private school prior to a divorce or (b) the parents initially both agree to send the child private school and then the NCP changes his/her mind. The CP rarely gets to make this unilateral choice and then expect the NCP to pay for his/her "share".

 

[stepmom&mom]

He will, however, order the payment of 3 years of support that should have been paid (if you ask for it).

Go get HER support money.

And, sperm donor can be ordered to pay for 1/2 of reasonable education expenses above and beyond normal CS.

I don't think this is correct. If she is just now requesting a child support order, it will only be retroactive back to the date of filing.

 

[stealth2]

I don't think this is correct. If she is just now requesting a child support order, it will only be retroactive back to the date of filing.

Good catch, sm&m - I missed that on my first reading. Bonehead call, dallas.

 

[VeronicaGia]

Take your chances and go for the support. It is for your daughter's welfare and it could make a huge difference in her future.

Since he hasn't made much effort to see her during the past 3 years, what makes you think he will do any better in the future? It will still be up to a judge to decide how much time Mr. Sperm Donor will get. He will, however, order the payment of 3 years of support that should have been paid (if you ask for it). That money could make the difference of a good education for your daughter. You just have to convince the judge that extended visits with the sperm donor are not in your daughter's best interest until she is older, and IF he comes there and makes himself more familiar to her. Paying CS doesn't guarantee visitation. he will have to make his case for that. His lack of support and very infrequent contact isn't going to buy him much sympathy from the judge...or visitation time that might disrupt your daughter's life.

Go get HER support money.

And, sperm donor can be ordered to pay for 1/2 of reasonable education expenses above and beyond normal CS.

Hey skanky egg donor, if you want to continue to call men "sperm donors" go to singlemomz.com where your kind is welcome.

The fact is, this man is not even a "sperm donor" since paternity has never been established.

 

[stealth2]

I am preparing to send her to a private school beginning in the fall, since the public schools in my city are plagued with violence and poor education standards.

And you chose to live here - with a child - because....?

 

[tigger22472]

I'm just trying to figure out how a 3 year old is going to school.... a private one at that.

 

[stealth2]

I'm figuring she'll be 4 by September, and it will be pre-K. Which isn't even really school. And Loooosiana doesn't require school attendance until the child is..... 7. La. Rev. Stat. Ann. § 17:221

 

[stepmom&mom]

7????

 

[stealth2]

Seven. 'splains a lot.

 

[stepmom&mom]

That means my son (who just so happens to be 7) wouldn't have been required to start school until this fall! He's going to second grade this year!