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sociopath deadbeat father

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fishlady1984

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma

My friend has a common law marriage and has a baby (who is almost 3) and they recently have broken up. The man is completely dependant on my friend, he has no job, or any legal income. He owes his ex wife more than $10,000 in back child support. He went insane when they broke up and has harassed her, left way too many messages on her phone, and has ripped the baby from her arms! He has no shame about bringing the baby into it! He's been physically violent towards her and has taught the baby to hit and head butt!

Since the break-up he has made up his own rules about when she can see the baby, it has been 10 days now since my friend has seen her baby because he says she can't. First he said he gets him every other weekend, but isn't that a decision only a judge can make? She has gotten another house, and has kept her good job and is the better parent here. It sounds more like kid-napping or holding him hostage to me. To make it worse the baby screams bloody hell when my friend would drop him off with his dad's. He makes no real effort with his other 2 kids, why is he trying so hard to keep this one?

There hasn't been a court hearing yet and my friends lawyer advises her to not do anything to beable to see her son. Is this the best thing for her to be doing? What the father is doing can't be legal, can it? When it is time for a hearing can she request a psych evaluation on him? I am convinced he is a sociopath and is using the baby to continue to control my friend.
 
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Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma

My friend has a common law marriage and has a baby (who is almost 3) and they recently have broken up. The man is completely dependant on my friend, he has no job, or any legal income. He owes his ex wife more than $10,000 in back child support. He went insane when they broke up and has harassed her, left way too many messages on her phone, and has ripped the baby from her arms! He has no shame about bringing the baby into it! He's been physically violent towards her and has taught the baby to hit and head butt!

Since the break-up he has made up his own rules about when she can see the baby, it has been 10 days now since my friend has seen her baby because he says she can't. First he said he gets him every other weekend, but isn't that a decision only a judge can make? She has gotten another house, and has kept her good job and is the better parent here. It sounds more like kid-napping or holding him hostage to me. To make it worse the baby screams bloody hell when my friend would drop him off with his dad's. He makes no real effort with his other 2 kids, why is he trying so hard to keep this one?

There hasn't been a court hearing yet and my friends lawyer advises her to not do anything to beable to see her son. Is this the best thing for her to be doing? What the father is doing can't be legal, can it? When it is time for a hearing can she request a psych evaluation on him? I am convinced he is a sociopath and is using the baby to continue to control my friend.
Why isn't Mom asking these questions?

What happened when Mom reported the abuse?

More to the point - Dad has as much right to his child as Mom, until a court says otherwise.

And yes - it would help to know who you are in this.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Why isn't Mom asking these questions?

What happened when Mom reported the abuse?

More to the point - Dad has as much right to his child as Mom, until a court says otherwise.

And yes - it would help to know who you are in this.
If its really a common law marriage he may have just as much right to the child as mom does, but if its really just an unwed situation, then techically mom is the one with custody at this point. Of course, mom's custody is not particularly enforceable without court intervention.

Mom has an attorney. Mom should follow the advice of her attorney.
 

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