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Someone help and explain to me please

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aafasf

Junior Member
Alabama (only U.S. law)?
**LONG STORY**
Im new to this thread thing, I need help.
When I was 16 I met a guy, living on his own, who had a random girl come over (acting crazy outside and yelling), he told me it was his ex fiance and she was crazy. Well of course I believed the guy I THOUGHT I wanted to be with, so a few months pass, and then I find out he's actually MARRIED to her. Which at this point, he says he is seperated and wants to be with me, okay im still being stupid at this point and believe him, so I wind up getting pregnant a few months later and turns out he wasnt even seperarated at all. He continued to try to be with me after the birth of our daughter, clearly I had gained some sense by then and didn't believe this worthless man. Since my daughter was born all he has bought was diapers, wipes, and bottle drop in bags, and there were still some months when my parents and I had to pitch in because he would stop talking to me at random times and wouldnt see her or buy her things for two and three weeks at a time. My daughter has been in daycare for 3 months (which my parents pay for, they also pay for her food) which has helped a lot with her being around him (she would never go to him, and now only goes if I am a few feet away from them). He did not sign the birth certificate, and didnt want to get a dna test because he simply didnt want to pay child support (we ourselves made an agreement for him to pay $60 every two weeks which coverd the most expesive things she needs diapers, wipes, juice). His wife has been finding my friends on two social networks and adding them, I asked him to tell her to stop, she did the first time. She started again last night in which I asked her to stop. Well my childs father and his wife are calling me a hoe, and now wanting a dna test blah blah. He is a great father. But his wife has threatened me over a year ago, and always calling me a hoe and a bitch. Am I wrong for not wanting my child around her? My child is only 1. He has told me stories about the physical fights he and his wife have gotten in, but this has been over a year and a half ago. She is calling herself a stepmother to my daughter, if I am correct, step parents dont have rights to the child? If he is at work can he leave my child with her? I want to make sure my child is never with his wife alone, and never in the car alone either. I dont want her to be the one who picks up my child when we are switching days, (IF he actually takes me to court)

Another thing, if he has a previous drug record can he be proven unfit, if he knows he has a drug test coming he will be clean for it, he also gets drinking all the time, not just one beer, like a four and five.
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
Alabama (only U.S. law)?
**LONG STORY**
Im new to this thread thing, I need help.
When I was 16 I met a guy, living on his own, who had a random girl come over (acting crazy outside and yelling), he told me it was his ex fiance and she was crazy. Well of course I believed the guy I THOUGHT I wanted to be with, so a few months pass, and then I find out he's actually MARRIED to her. Which at this point, he says he is seperated and wants to be with me, okay im still being stupid at this point and believe him, so I wind up getting pregnant a few months later and turns out he wasnt even seperarated at all. He continued to try to be with me after the birth of our daughter, clearly I had gained some sense by then and didn't believe this worthless man. Since my daughter was born all he has bought was diapers, wipes, and bottle drop in bags, and there were still some months when my parents and I had to pitch in because he would stop talking to me at random times and wouldnt see her or buy her things for two and three weeks at a time. My daughter has been in daycare for 3 months (which my parents pay for, they also pay for her food) which has helped a lot with her being around him (she would never go to him, and now only goes if I am a few feet away from them). He did not sign the birth certificate, and didnt want to get a dna test because he simply didnt want to pay child support (we ourselves made an agreement for him to pay $60 every two weeks which coverd the most expesive things she needs diapers, wipes, juice). His wife has been finding my friends on two social networks and adding them, I asked him to tell her to stop, she did the first time. She started again last night in which I asked her to stop. Well my childs father and his wife are calling me a hoe, and now wanting a dna test blah blah. He is a great father. But his wife has threatened me over a year ago, and always calling me a hoe and a bitch. Am I wrong for not wanting my child around her? My child is only 1. He has told me stories about the physical fights he and his wife have gotten in, but this has been over a year and a half ago. She is calling herself a stepmother to my daughter, if I am correct, step parents dont have rights to the child? If he is at work can he leave my child with her? I want to make sure my child is never with his wife alone, and never in the car alone either. I dont want her to be the one who picks up my child when we are switching days, (IF he actually takes me to court)

Another thing, if he has a previous drug record can he be proven unfit, if he knows he has a drug test coming he will be clean for it, he also gets drinking all the time, not just one beer, like a four and five.


Believe it or not, having a drug history doesn't mean he's unfit. Drinking and being drunk is not illegal.

Unless you have proof that Stepmom is actually a threat to the child it's highly unlikely that you can stop her from being present at pickup/dropoff or prevent the child from being alone with her.

While it's absolutely true that Stepmom has no inherent rights to the child, the reality is that she has as many rights as Dad allows her to have during his parenting time. In other words, she can discipline the child, take the child to the park to ignore the child while she's busy chatting with her friends...that sort of thing.
 

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
Alabama (only U.S. law)?
**LONG STORY**
Im new to this thread thing, I need help.
When I was 16 I met a guy, living on his own, who had a random girl come over (acting crazy outside and yelling), he told me it was his ex fiance and she was crazy. Well of course I believed the guy I THOUGHT I wanted to be with, so a few months pass, and then I find out he's actually MARRIED to her. Which at this point, he says he is seperated and wants to be with me, okay im still being stupid at this point and believe him, so I wind up getting pregnant a few months later and turns out he wasnt even seperarated at all. He continued to try to be with me after the birth of our daughter, clearly I had gained some sense by then and didn't believe this worthless man. Since my daughter was born all he has bought was diapers, wipes, and bottle drop in bags, and there were still some months when my parents and I had to pitch in because he would stop talking to me at random times and wouldnt see her or buy her things for two and three weeks at a time. My daughter has been in daycare for 3 months (which my parents pay for, they also pay for her food) which has helped a lot with her being around him (she would never go to him, and now only goes if I am a few feet away from them). He did not sign the birth certificate, and didnt want to get a dna test because he simply didnt want to pay child support (we ourselves made an agreement for him to pay $60 every two weeks which coverd the most expesive things she needs diapers, wipes, juice). His wife has been finding my friends on two social networks and adding them, I asked him to tell her to stop, she did the first time. She started again last night in which I asked her to stop. Well my childs father and his wife are calling me a hoe, and now wanting a dna test blah blah. He is a great father. But his wife has threatened me over a year ago, and always calling me a hoe and a bitch. Am I wrong for not wanting my child around her? My child is only 1. He has told me stories about the physical fights he and his wife have gotten in, but this has been over a year and a half ago. She is calling herself a stepmother to my daughter, if I am correct, step parents dont have rights to the child? If he is at work can he leave my child with her? I want to make sure my child is never with his wife alone, and never in the car alone either. I dont want her to be the one who picks up my child when we are switching days, (IF he actually takes me to court)

Another thing, if he has a previous drug record can he be proven unfit,
if he knows he has a drug test coming he will be clean for it, he also gets drinking all the time, not just one beer, like a four and five.
No.
Yes.
No.

Link to Alabama Code on Child Custody
http://alisondb.legislature.state.al.us/acas/CodeOfAlabama/1975/128972.htm

Link to Alabama Administrative Court site on Child Support:
Alabama Unified Judicial System -- judicial.alabama.gov

DHR website on Child Support:
http://www.dhr.state.al.us/page.asp?pageid=288

Schedule of Basic Child Support:
Alabama Unified Judicial System -- judicial.alabama.gov

DHR Website for CS Payments (paying via DHR)
https://216.226.178.178/opi/login.asp

State of AL Website for CS Payments (paying via the court system)
http://childsupport.alacourt.gov/

Worksheet used in Alabama to compute Child Support:
http://eforms.alacourt.gov/disLogonGrid.aspx?key=5-0-0
 

single317dad

Senior Member
Alabama (only U.S. law)?
**LONG STORY**
Im new to this thread thing, I need help.
When I was 16 I met a guy, living on his own, who had a random girl come over (acting crazy outside and yelling), he told me it was his ex fiance and she was crazy. Well of course I believed the guy I THOUGHT I wanted to be with, so a few months pass, and then I find out he's actually MARRIED to her. Which at this point, he says he is seperated and wants to be with me, okay im still being stupid at this point and believe him, so I wind up getting pregnant a few months later and turns out he wasnt even seperarated at all. He continued to try to be with me after the birth of our daughter, clearly I had gained some sense by then and didn't believe this worthless man. Since my daughter was born all he has bought was diapers, wipes, and bottle drop in bags, and there were still some months when my parents and I had to pitch in because he would stop talking to me at random times and wouldnt see her or buy her things for two and three weeks at a time. My daughter has been in daycare for 3 months (which my parents pay for, they also pay for her food) which has helped a lot with her being around him (she would never go to him, and now only goes if I am a few feet away from them). He did not sign the birth certificate, and didnt want to get a dna test because he simply didnt want to pay child support (we ourselves made an agreement for him to pay $60 every two weeks which coverd the most expesive things she needs diapers, wipes, juice). His wife has been finding my friends on two social networks and adding them, I asked him to tell her to stop, she did the first time. She started again last night in which I asked her to stop. Well my childs father and his wife are calling me a hoe, and now wanting a dna test blah blah. He is a great father. But his wife has threatened me over a year ago, and always calling me a hoe and a bitch. Am I wrong for not wanting my child around her? My child is only 1. He has told me stories about the physical fights he and his wife have gotten in, but this has been over a year and a half ago. She is calling herself a stepmother to my daughter, if I am correct, step parents dont have rights to the child? If he is at work can he leave my child with her? I want to make sure my child is never with his wife alone, and never in the car alone either. I dont want her to be the one who picks up my child when we are switching days, (IF he actually takes me to court)

Another thing, if he has a previous drug record can he be proven unfit, if he knows he has a drug test coming he will be clean for it, he also gets drinking all the time, not just one beer, like a four and five.
I'm seeing some conflicting information here that I'm not entirely clear on. He is a great father? Yes he's not legally the child's father because he doesn't want to support her, and the child is apparently not acquainted with him (according to earlier statements)? I'm not understanding.

The bottom line is, at this time you don't have to let the father or the stepmother around the child, at all, ever. Dad is not legally the father of this child, and has no rights at all, so any rights the stepmom might be granted by Dad cannot exist, yet. That will change sometime down the road if and when a court decides so, not before.

You complained about having to "pitch in" on the child's needs. That is your responsibility. When you have a baby, you have to satisfy its needs. In most cases, this means getting a job.

The fact that your child's father has a drug history just means that you are a poor judge of potential fathers. Nothing more at this point.

The best thing you can do for your child is to go to court and get orders for support and visitation. Ask for the things you want in those orders. You may not get them all, but at the end of the process you will know EXACTLY how much support you should receive, how and when Dad can see the child, and who else can be around the child.
 
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aafasf

Junior Member
my reply to yall

About the drug history, im not trying to prove he is unfit at the moment, I was asking if it would be something I should bring up if the courtcase does come up.

I think the only unkind thing I said was that he was a worthless man?

When I see him with her at my house, he is a great father, he plays with her, he loves her, but he has these "spells" where he will just stop asking to come over, which I am not begging him to, so however long it takes him to realize he misses her. She cried everytime she saw him until she was six months old, and I think her going to daycare has helped a lot with her not doing that to everything, but she is just now finally getting used to him because he came almost two weeks in a row for like 4 days a week. He hasnt seen her now in two weeks and she loses the trust with him again. He is welcome at anytime to come to my home to see her. He wants to take her to his house and to his family's home, I said "Okay, but let me meet your family" He said no every time. Ive said since she was born if he let me go with him the first few times to see if everything would be childproofed, and safe then he could take her, he said that was stupid and should just be able to take his kid where ever he wants, I told him he should have signed the birth certificate then. I did not by any means complain. When my daughter was born we had an agreement he would by her stuff since he didnt buy anything when I was pregnant. He has had it easy. Diapers, wipes, and bottle bags, that was a total of $45 a month until for almost her first year. Then it went to $60 every two weeks because she needed more. Im not going to lie, I have it easy, my parents pay for almost everything for my daughter so I dont have to get a job, I am a fulltime college student and they would rather me finish college than have to juggle everything. Clearly I wasnt trying to get pregnant, I was on birth control, and using condoms.

Thanks for the rude comments everyone. Just the thing anyone wants to here. Im not trying to keep my child from her father, and honestly not from his wife, but to be trash talked is rude, and I wouldnt want my daughter around that, plus the fact Ive never even met these people. Also thanks to the people who answered with just the answer!

Another question.
Is there like a set amount of days a child has to visit? My daughter is in daycare full time, (they dont offer part time), and I know for a fact her father wont drive to my city to drop her off and it would be a waste of money if she didnt go everyday, could she only go visit him like every other weekend? Friday night, Saturday, and have her home on Sunday?
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
About the drug history, im not trying to prove he is unfit at the moment, I was asking if it would be something I should bring up if the courtcase does come up.

I think the only unkind thing I said was that he was a worthless man?

When I see him with her at my house, he is a great father, he plays with her, he loves her, but he has these "spells" where he will just stop asking to come over, which I am not begging him to, so however long it takes him to realize he misses her. She cried everytime she saw him until she was six months old, and I think her going to daycare has helped a lot with her not doing that to everything, but she is just now finally getting used to him because he came almost two weeks in a row for like 4 days a week. He hasnt seen her now in two weeks and she loses the trust with him again. He is welcome at anytime to come to my home to see her. He wants to take her to his house and to his family's home, I said "Okay, but let me meet your family" He said no every time. Ive said since she was born if he let me go with him the first few times to see if everything would be childproofed, and safe then he could take her, he said that was stupid and should just be able to take his kid where ever he wants, I told him he should have signed the birth certificate then. I did not by any means complain. When my daughter was born we had an agreement he would by her stuff since he didnt buy anything when I was pregnant. He has had it easy. Diapers, wipes, and bottle bags, that was a total of $45 a month until for almost her first year. Then it went to $60 every two weeks because she needed more. Im not going to lie, I have it easy, my parents pay for almost everything for my daughter so I dont have to get a job, I am a fulltime college student and they would rather me finish college than have to juggle everything. Clearly I wasnt trying to get pregnant, I was on birth control, and using condoms.

Thanks for the rude comments everyone. Just the thing anyone wants to here. Im not trying to keep my child from her father, and honestly not from his wife, but to be trash talked is rude, and I wouldnt want my daughter around that, plus the fact Ive never even met these people. Also thanks to the people who answered with just the answer!

Another question.
Is there like a set amount of days a child has to visit? My daughter is in daycare full time, (they dont offer part time), and I know for a fact her father wont drive to my city to drop her off and it would be a waste of money if she didnt go everyday, could she only go visit him like every other weekend? Friday night, Saturday, and have her home on Sunday?
A) Dad doesn't owe you a dime.
B) You chose him as a father.
C) You have a responsibility to financially support your child as well. Though since there is no legal father, you are the one solely responsible and you aren't doing so.
D) Finishing college should be on the backburner (or part time) so that you can support the child YOU CHOSE to bring into this world.
E) If you take dad to court, he won't have to parent like you do.
F) He may be able to have the child days other than weekends -- including during the week -- regardless of the "waste of money" it would be. Day care is NOT more important than a parent.
G) You chose to have sex outside of a committed relationship.
H) The word is "Ho" not "hoe" unless you are a garden implement. You shouldn't have slept with a married man. He shouldn't have slept with you.
I) You don't have a right to meet everyone that your child is ever introduced to -- dad has a right to take HIS child around people you don't know.
 

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
About the drug history, im not trying to prove he is unfit at the moment, I was asking if it would be something I should bring up if the courtcase does come up.

I think the only unkind thing I said was that he was a worthless man?

When I see him with her at my house, he is a great father, he plays with her, he loves her, but he has these "spells" where he will just stop asking to come over, which I am not begging him to, so however long it takes him to realize he misses her. She cried everytime she saw him until she was six months old, and I think her going to daycare has helped a lot with her not doing that to everything, but she is just now finally getting used to him because he came almost two weeks in a row for like 4 days a week. He hasnt seen her now in two weeks and she loses the trust with him again. He is welcome at anytime to come to my home to see her. He wants to take her to his house and to his family's home, I said "Okay, but let me meet your family" He said no every time. Ive said since she was born if he let me go with him the first few times to see if everything would be childproofed, and safe then he could take her, he said that was stupid and should just be able to take his kid where ever he wants, I told him he should have signed the birth certificate then. I did not by any means complain. When my daughter was born we had an agreement he would by her stuff since he didnt buy anything when I was pregnant. He has had it easy. Diapers, wipes, and bottle bags, that was a total of $45 a month until for almost her first year. Then it went to $60 every two weeks because she needed more. Im not going to lie, I have it easy, my parents pay for almost everything for my daughter so I dont have to get a job, I am a fulltime college student and they would rather me finish college than have to juggle everything. Clearly I wasnt trying to get pregnant, I was on birth control, and using condoms.

Thanks for the rude comments everyone. Just the thing anyone wants to here. Im not trying to keep my child from her father, and honestly not from his wife, but to be trash talked is rude, and I wouldnt want my daughter around that, plus the fact Ive never even met these people. Also thanks to the people who answered with just the answer!

Another question.
Is there like a set amount of days a child has to visit? My daughter is in daycare full time, (they dont offer part time), and I know for a fact her father wont drive to my city to drop her off and it would be a waste of money if she didnt go everyday, could she only go visit him like every other weekend? Friday night, Saturday, and have her home on Sunday?
Alabama does not have codified visitation. There are a few district judges who have visitation orders that they prefer to have the attorneys use in their courts.

But then, you would have known that if you had even looked at the links I provided. :cool:


You didn't say which county you were in but you might want to peruse these sites also:
Mobile AL Divorce & Family Law Attorne

http://www.woodfamilylaw.com/PracticeAreas/Child-Custody-Visitation.asp

(Note: I am not affiliated with any private firm whose website I have listed here. I have done so merely as a courtesy and for informative purposes only)
 

aafasf

Junior Member
.

A) Dad doesn't owe you a dime.
B) You chose him as a father.
C) You have a responsibility to financially support your child as well. Though since there is no legal father, you are the one solely responsible and you aren't doing so.
D) Finishing college should be on the backburner (or part time) so that you can support the child YOU CHOSE to bring into this world.
E) If you take dad to court, he won't have to parent like you do.
F) He may be able to have the child days other than weekends -- including during the week -- regardless of the "waste of money" it would be. Day care is NOT more important than a parent.
G) You chose to have sex outside of a committed relationship.
H) The word is "Ho" not "hoe" unless you are a garden implement. You shouldn't have slept with a married man. He shouldn't have slept with you.
I) You don't have a right to meet everyone that your child is ever introduced to -- dad has a right to take HIS child around people you don't know.
You're right, he doesn't owe me, he owes his daughter.
I didnt choose him, we werent planning on getting pregnant, we were protected.
He knows he is the legal father. My parents and I are doing so, sometimes I buy her things, and if they're at the store they buy it, it just depends who makes it to the store first.
In my family college is important and will not be put off, Id rather do it now, be done by the time im 21 and then I can start paying my parents back for everything they have helped me buy.
I think I know what I did was my fault.
Daycare is more important to build social skills and learning, if this were actual school she would have to go.
I didnt say every person. But I think its rude to take her around people I dont know, since he made it crucial that he met everyone in my family that she would be around.
 

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
You're right, he doesn't owe me, he owes his daughter.
I didnt choose him, we werent planning on getting pregnant, we were protected.
He knows he is the legal father. My parents and I are doing so, sometimes I buy her things, and if they're at the store they buy it, it just depends who makes it to the store first.
In my family college is important and will not be put off, Id rather do it now, be done by the time im 21 and then I can start paying my parents back for everything they have helped me buy.
I think I know what I did was my fault.
Daycare is more important to build social skills and learning, if this were actual school she would have to go.
I didnt say every person. But I think its rude to take her around people I dont know, since he made it crucial that he met everyone in my family that she would be around.
Until you or he files for CS, he doesn't owe you anything.
He is NOT the legal father unless he signed paperwork at the hospital/DHR office or a court via DNA finds him to be the legal father. :cool:
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
The bottom line is that Dad - once there's a court order in place - doesn't have to introduce you to anyone at all who might be in the presence of the child.

Don't start out by making a list of "things I can use against Dad if I need to". If it's not enough to worry about now, it's not enough to worry about later. You're going to be parenting with Dad for a long, long time to come; starting out trying to get ammunition against Dad isn't going to end well for you.

Day care also doesn't trump parenting time when the child is only 1. If you're unavailable and Dad is available, it makes no sense to have her in daycare if she has a parent available.
 

Ladyback1

Senior Member
You're right, he doesn't owe me, he owes his daughter.
I didnt choose him, we werent planning on getting pregnant, we were protected.
He knows he is the legal father. My parents and I are doing so, sometimes I buy her things, and if they're at the store they buy it, it just depends who makes it to the store first.
In my family college is important and will not be put off, Id rather do it now, be done by the time im 21 and then I can start paying my parents back for everything they have helped me buy.
I think I know what I did was my fault.
Daycare is more important to build social skills and learning, if this were actual school she would have to go.
I didnt say every person. But I think its rude to take her around people I dont know, since he made it crucial that he met everyone in my family that she would be around.
As of this moment? She is not his daughter (Legally speaking)
The only 100% effective method of not getting pregnant is NOT dropping your pants.
You buy her stuff? With what? If your parents are supporting you, then you are just using their money. You are not supporting yourself, much less your daughter.
And in other families? College is put off to raise a child conceived and born. What you want, as far as finishing college, is completely irrelevant.
Daycare, at 1 y/o is IMPORTANT? Puhlease! I've worked in my fair share of daycare centers. Socially well-adjusted children come from well-adjusted parents/families. And it is NOT "actual" school. Day care is sometimes a necessary evil, but it is not the ideal. I've seen far to many kids that were maladjusted from having spent hours at daycare!
Rude, shmude....you thought he was acceptable to sleep with, thus in a court's eyes, he is okie-dokie! And his wife? Well, she IS his wife, and if it's proven that he is the father, then IS the baby's step-mother.

It's going to be a LOOOONG 17 years, if you don't get your priorities straight and start taking responsibility for your decisions. oh and another thing....you need to grow up a lot!
 

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
As of this moment? She is not his daughter (Legally speaking)
The only 100% effective method of not getting pregnant is NOT dropping your pants.
You buy her stuff? With what? If your parents are supporting you, then you are just using their money. You are not supporting yourself, much less your daughter.
And in other families? College is put off to raise a child conceived and born. What you want, as far as finishing college, is completely irrelevant.
Daycare, at 1 y/o is IMPORTANT? Puhlease! I've worked in my fair share of daycare centers. Socially well-adjusted children come from well-adjusted parents/families. And it is NOT "actual" school. Day care is sometimes a necessary evil, but it is not the ideal. I've seen far to many kids that were maladjusted from having spent hours at daycare!
Rude, shmude....you thought he was acceptable to sleep with, thus in a court's eyes, he is okie-dokie! And his wife? Well, she IS his wife, and if it's proven that he is the father, then IS the baby's step-mother.

It's going to be a LOOOONG 17 years, if you don't get your priorities straight and start taking responsibility for your decisions. oh and another thing....you need to grow up a lot!
Alabama Age of Majority is 19. :cool:
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
In all fairness, this is a very young Mom and likely doesn't have a clue how this actually works compared to what she thinks/has been told/assumed/friends have told her. Plus, she's likely more than a little mad at Dad.

Mom would do well to actually stick around and read some past threads. Particularly those illustrating what the court thinks is, and is not, important.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
You're right, he doesn't owe me, he owes his daughter.
I didnt choose him, we werent planning on getting pregnant, we were protected.
He knows he is the legal father. My parents and I are doing so, sometimes I buy her things, and if they're at the store they buy it, it just depends who makes it to the store first.
In my family college is important and will not be put off, Id rather do it now, be done by the time im 21 and then I can start paying my parents back for everything they have helped me buy.
I think I know what I did was my fault.
Daycare is more important to build social skills and learning, if this were actual school she would have to go.
I didnt say every person. But I think its rude to take her around people I dont know, since he made it crucial that he met everyone in my family that she would be around.
Actually, he doesn't owe anyone money until a judge tells him he does.
Well, no, you did choose him. By having sex with him, voluntarily, you chose to accept the risk of pregnancy.
He isn't the legal father until the judge says he is.
College is important in my family, too. But both of my young adults understand very clearly that, should they either become or cause someone else to become pregnant, then the expectation will be that they will be p/ting college while working to support their child. Funny how that motivated them to keep their hormones in check...
Its not a matter of fault, but of responsibility. and right now, the only parent legally responsible (you) has not stepped up as needed.
Yes, IF it were actual school, she would have to go. But it is not, so not an argument.
Once he is declared her father LEGALLY, he will have the same rights as you do to introduce the child to others as you do. If you expect to be able to meet people he introduces baby to, expect to be ordered to do the same.

Also, expect to split transportation with him.
 
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