• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Someone please give me some advice

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

mom2joanddee

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma

Okay, let me see if I can get this all out to make sense....

My daughters father (my ex husband) and I got divorced in 2006, I never hired an attorney, but we had a Joint Custody Plan that named him as the primary physical custodian and me as the secondary physical custodian. It was very in favor of 50/50 everything....school decisions, visitation, religious decisions, so on and so forth. This worked well for a while...I had her enrolled in a Pre-K program that was centralized so that both parents would be able to pick her up and take her to school. She was primarily with me for the entire school year, her father picked her up for her 1st school night stay with him in March. He works in a town that is about 1.5 hours from where we live, he moved up here with his fiancee in March. So it came to be that she would be with him when he was off work (he works 4 days on, 3 days off, 12 hour days and when he works he stays in the other town) and with me when he was at work.

He started getting kind of ugly, calling the day he wanted her and saying "Im going to pick her up today" and I would ask him for more notice than that next time. Then out of the blue, he went and enrolled her in the same school that his fiancees kid is enrolled at for Summer school. I kept calling him and asking for the name of the school and he was never able to tell me the name (I am assuming that he let his fiancee handle all the enrollment) three days before Summer School was due to start, I was finally given the name of the school, I pulled it up on crime tracker and on the sexual offender list, and this area of town is swarming with both criminals and registered sex offenders, I also found out that they do not have an outdoor playground and they transport ALL of the children to a different school to eat lunch because they do not have facilities on site. He also stated that he wants her to skip kindergarten and go straight to 1st grade because his fiancees kid is younger than ours and she is going in to kindergarten. I made it known I didn't like ANY of this.

He had slowly been trying to muscle me out, I called on Wednesday before MY weekend just to confirm I would be picking her up from school on Friday and was told, "no, we are going out of town." I asked if he was going to let me know at any point, and he said "why do I have to tell you anything" So, I dropped it knowing that I would be picking her up on Tuesday.

I picked her up on Tuesday and we went about our business, until Friday morning 6/20. Friday morning he called and said he would be picking her up from school that day. I said "no, I just got her, it isn't time." He said "well, I am picking her up." so we went back and forth on that and got into an argument, he showed up as I was putting her in the car to go to school and he took her, screaming and crying for me, and he drove away.

On Monday, he had me served with a petition for a protective order, saying that I threatened to kidnap her and not let him see her anymore (not true.) My court date was 6/30 we both showed up and the petition was dropped.

He is still not letting me see her and I can not afford an attorney retainer right now. I just want to see my baby. She keeps asking me on the phone when I can come get her and I just don't know what to do. He has stated that he wants custody with her having visitation with me on the weekend, I want 50/50 custody just like we agreed too. Right now, he is away at his job and our child is at home with his fiancee, who I dont even know!

Is there anything that I can do to just be able to see her. I will worry about the custody modification and all that later, I just wanna see my girl!!

Please please help, my heart is broken.
 


Isis1

Senior Member
you really need an attorney.

anytime you are denied your court order visitation, file a police report. do not get talked out of it by the police officer. it is possible the officer can talk the other parent into following the court order, but the officer is under no obligation to enforce the court order. if in fact you are still unable to utilize your visitation, file for contempt.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
In order to be denied visitation she has to prove that she was entitled to said visitation.So what EXACTLY does the visitation provision state?
 

mom2joanddee

Junior Member
The visitation

I am typing directly from my Joint Child Custody Plan:

Respondant (me) shall have the child approximately half the time and at such other times as the parties agree from time to time. Petitioner will ordinarily have the child the remainder of the time. In the event that the circimstances change so that a party's time with the child needs to be changed and the parties are unable to agree in such regards, the provisions hereinafter set forth concerning arbitration or mediation shall be followed to resolve any such disagreement.

That is exactly what it says.

Let me know if you need anything else. I am just desperate to see her!
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I am typing directly from my Joint Child Custody Plan:

Respondant (me) shall have the child approximately half the time and at such other times as the parties agree from time to time. Petitioner will ordinarily have the child the remainder of the time. In the event that the circimstances change so that a party's time with the child needs to be changed and the parties are unable to agree in such regards, the provisions hereinafter set forth concerning arbitration or mediation shall be followed to resolve any such disagreement.

That is exactly what it says.

Let me know if you need anything else. I am just desperate to see her!
He is NOT in contempt based on that. Quite frankly you need to get the order clarified. Off to mediation you go.
 

profmum

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma

Okay, let me see if I can get this all out to make sense....

My daughters father (my ex husband) and I got divorced in 2006, I never hired an attorney, but we had a Joint Custody Plan that named him as the primary physical custodian and me as the secondary physical custodian. It was very in favor of 50/50 everything....school decisions, visitation, religious decisions, so on and so forth. This worked well for a while...I had her enrolled in a Pre-K program that was centralized so that both parents would be able to pick her up and take her to school. She was primarily with me for the entire school year, her father picked her up for her 1st school night stay with him in March. He works in a town that is about 1.5 hours from where we live, he moved up here with his fiancee in March. So it came to be that she would be with him when he was off work (he works 4 days on, 3 days off, 12 hour days and when he works he stays in the other town) and with me when he was at work.

So was this your parenting plan that was outlined in the "Joint Custody Plan" or was this what the arrangement ended up being?

He started getting kind of ugly, calling the day he wanted her and saying "Im going to pick her up today" and I would ask him for more notice than that next time.

so you do not have a clear parenting plan that outlines when kiddo is with Mum or Dad?

Then out of the blue, he went and enrolled her in the same school that his fiancees kid is enrolled at for Summer school. I kept calling him and asking for the name of the school and he was never able to tell me the name (I am assuming that he let his fiancee handle all the enrollment) three days before Summer School was due to start, I was finally given the name of the school


he is NOT allowed to do this when there is joint decision making which sounds like you have outlined in your "custody plan".


I pulled it up on crime tracker and on the sexual offender list, and this area of town is swarming with both criminals and registered sex offenders, I also found out that they do not have an outdoor playground and they transport ALL of the children to a different school to eat lunch because they do not have facilities on site. He also stated that he wants her to skip kindergarten and go straight to 1st grade because his fiancees kid is younger than ours and she is going in to kindergarten. I made it known I didn't like ANY of this.

again he cannot unilaterally make such a decision.

He had slowly been trying to muscle me out, I called on Wednesday before MY weekend just to confirm I would be picking her up from school on Friday and was told, "no, we are going out of town." I asked if he was going to let me know at any point, and he said "why do I have to tell you anything" So, I dropped it knowing that I would be picking her up on Tuesday.

you need a clear plan that outlines days/times/weeks with Mum or dad to avoid this.

I picked her up on Tuesday and we went about our business, until Friday morning 6/20. Friday morning he called and said he would be picking her up from school that day. I said "no, I just got her, it isn't time." He said "well, I am picking her up." so we went back and forth on that and got into an argument, he showed up as I was putting her in the car to go to school and he took her, screaming and crying for me, and he drove away.


You should have never allowed him to do that...

On Monday, he had me served with a petition for a protective order, saying that I threatened to kidnap her and not let him see her anymore (not true.) My court date was 6/30 we both showed up and the petition was dropped.

Good


He is still not letting me see her and I can not afford an attorney retainer right now. I just want to see my baby. She keeps asking me on the phone when I can come get her and I just don't know what to do. He has stated that he wants custody with her having visitation with me on the weekend, I want 50/50 custody just like we agreed too. Right now, he is away at his job and our child is at home with his fiancee, who I dont even know!

Technically since you do not have a "parenting plan" he can do this although it does not bode well for him. BUT he is banking on the fact that you will do nothing, which you are. Get an attorney, file an emergency order to get your child back.. the longer you wait, the less of an emergency it becomes, do whatever you need to get the funds to get an attorney.. your inertia will not work well for you.

Is there anything that I can do to just be able to see her. I will worry about the custody modification and all that later, I just wanna see my girl!!

YES, get an attorney!

Please please help, my heart is broken.

Here is a good example of stop feeling sorry for yourself and to do something!
 

profmum

Senior Member
I am typing directly from my Joint Child Custody Plan:

Respondant (me) shall have the child approximately half the time and at such other times as the parties agree from time to time. Petitioner will ordinarily have the child the remainder of the time. In the event that the circimstances change so that a party's time with the child needs to be changed and the parties are unable to agree in such regards, the provisions hereinafter set forth concerning arbitration or mediation shall be followed to resolve any such disagreement.

That is exactly what it says.

Let me know if you need anything else. I am just desperate to see her!
This is horribly vague, which is why Dad can keep the child as he is, you need a clear parenting plan that states M-W Mum , Th-Fri Dad etc etc. So get going
 

acmb05

Senior Member
I am typing directly from my Joint Child Custody Plan:

Respondant (me) shall have the child approximately half the time and at such other times as the parties agree from time to time. Petitioner will ordinarily have the child the remainder of the time. In the event that the circimstances change so that a party's time with the child needs to be changed and the parties are unable to agree in such regards, the provisions hereinafter set forth concerning arbitration or mediation shall be followed to resolve any such disagreement.

That is exactly what it says.

Let me know if you need anything else. I am just desperate to see her!
Geeez, it sounds like they let the toddler write this up.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top