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  1. #1
    Hippie Chik is offline Junior Member
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    Spanking laws and stepparents

    What is the name of your state? KS

    Hi
    My DH is divorced and has 2 children, ages 6 and 7, with his ex. They have joint legal and he has the kids 3 weekends a month from Fri to Mon and every Thurs overnight.

    She is re-married and has been allowing her husband to spank the children. My DH has told her he does not want him to do this but it does not seem that she is listening. Tonight when the kids got here the oldest said he had been given "swats" with a spoon that day by "Dad". That is another issue as she has encouraged the kids to call her husband "Dad" and their father by his first name since she re-married when the kids were toddlers.

    To add to this saga she charged my DH with child abuse 3 years ago when a bruise was found on the oldest boys rear. Social Services did not find him responsible and the judge reinstated his visitation and he was ordered to take a parenting class. Since then he has not spanked once but now ex-wife and her husband are. It seems to have started when they joined a church that strongly believes in "biblical discipline" that includes spanking.

    My question is: Does the law say anything about a step-parents right to spank? DH called ex tonight and told her once again he did not want her husband touching his kids and she just blew it off.

    Is there a chance a judge would allow this or not?

    ThanksWhat is the name of your state?
  2. #2
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Have your hubby report the abuse to child protective services! Spanking you own child is not illegal but spanking someone elses child is assault!
  3. #3
    LdiJ is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by baystategirl View Post
    Have your hubby report the abuse to child protective services! Spanking you own child is not illegal but spanking someone elses child is assault!
    Personally I agree with that...but legally if mom is giving her husband permission to spank the kids, then it boils down to a judge's opinion. If no bruises are being left on the kids, dad may not get anywhere with it via CPS.
  4. #4
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by baystategirl View Post
    Have your hubby report the abuse to child protective services! Spanking you own child is not illegal but spanking someone elses child is assault!
    Not necessarily. I'm not agreeing with allowing SDad to spank the kids, but he probably wouldn't have a difficult time claiming that he was acting in loco parentis... and therefore had the right to discipline the children. It's still legal in KS for schools to use corporal punishment... a judge isn't likely to bat an eye at a step parent spanking.
  5. #5
    lisan23 Guest
    I'd just like to add on. My DH's ex has done the same thing, she got remarried about a year ago and started teaching SS to call DH "Mark" and call her husband "dad". Well, we went to court and the judge told her NOT to teach SS to call DH by his first name, he couldn't care less what she had SS calling her husband. So now SS calls me "Mommy Lisa" and her husband "Daddy Mike".
  6. #6
    angelmama is offline Member
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    Spanking laws...state by state...

    [url]http://familyrightsassociation.com/info/spanking_laws.htm[/url]
  7. #7
    BL
    BL is offline Senior Member
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    Well I could tell some stories .

    IF the parent says NO , it means no .

    I had incidences of juvys litigating fires under a trailer , got chewed out by mom, left her , the trailer finally got burned to the ground .

    My final advice is to do what you have to. Thankfully my son son got saved from the flames .
  8. #8
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelmama View Post
    Spanking laws...state by state...

    [url]http://familyrightsassociation.com/info/spanking_laws.htm[/url]

    This is the headline of that site.....I'm sorry....Spanking a child really isn't necessary in raising a well behaved and nice child....My eldest is one of the BEST PEOPLE I have ever met and she had no spankings...My little one is a wonderful child and again I do NOT spank her...But if a parent finds it necessary to discipline their child with a whack across the behind that is their business...but to have their non-parent spouse hitting the children is not right. JMHO!
    If I were the Po's hubby I would take this to court and have the parenting plan modified to exclude the steps from using corporal punishment on the children...



    WARNING- The existence of these laws are in NO WAY a DEFENSE for actually spanking a child in the United States. There is a SPANKING BAN, and there will continue to be until the New Agers finally figure out they are FATALLY WRONG and that they have DESTROYED AMERICA with their New Age parenting THEORIES- and the laws plainly clarified to ENCOURAGE spanking as necessary.
  9. #9
    BL
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    Quote Originally Posted by baystategirl View Post
    This is the headline of that site.....I'm sorry....Spanking a child really isn't necessary in raising a well behaved and nice child....My eldest is one of the BEST PEOPLE I have ever met and she had no spankings...My little one is a wonderful child and again I do NOT spank her...But if a parent finds it necessary to discipline their child with a whack across the behind that is their business...but to have their non-parent spouse hitting the children is not right. JMHO!
    If I were the Po's hubby I would take this to court and have the parenting plan modified to exclude the steps from using corporal punishment on the children...

    BABY , I whipped the butt , look where it got . Momma babied the son . Did you ever get whipped ?
    Last edited by BL; 05-18-2007 at 09:06 PM.
  10. #10
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blonde Lebinese View Post
    BABY , I whipped the butt , look where it got . Momma babied the son . Did you ever get whipped ?
    I was spanked once that I remember...My parents were "old school" but still didn't think hitting kid was necessarily the only way to discipline...But I was the type of kid that KNEW when I did wrong and was sorry...I very seldom really acted out...It just wasn't my nature.

    Now I am a B****..... Funny how we change.

    My kids know that if they give me a hard time I will start taking away all their stuff...No T.V. , telephone and computer for a week...or month...hurts a lot more than a swat on the ass!
  11. #11
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by baystategirl View Post
    I was spanked once that I remember...
    My mom's theory... "If they're smart, you only have to hit them once. If they're REALLY smart, you only have to threaten it once." I never got spanked.

    And... I'd have SERIOUS issues with the SMom spanking my girls, or D'Man spanking any of the kids. But... I'd have a hard time doing anything about it legally. And while that sucks, it's reality.
  12. #12
    BL
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    Quote Originally Posted by baystategirl View Post
    I was spanked once that I remember...My parents were "old school" but still didn't think hitting kid was necessarily the only way to discipline...But I was the type of kid that KNEW when I did wrong and was sorry...I very seldom really acted out...It just wasn't my nature.

    Now I am a B****..... Funny how we change.

    My kids know that if they give me a hard time I will start taking away all their stuff...No T.V. , telephone and computer for a week...or month...hurts a lot more than a swat on the ass!
    glad you learned from it , my son woulda died but her drug induced momma did go in to save him , called me 2 weeks later to tell me the firefighters wouldn't go in , so she did . I got my ass chewed for whipping but , like I said Momma babyed the the fist time , cause I whipped it , so tell me when is " spanking approbate ?
  13. #13
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CJane View Post
    My mom's theory... "If they're smart, you only have to hit them once. If they're REALLY smart, you only have to threaten it once." I never got spanked.

    And... I'd have SERIOUS issues with the SMom spanking my girls, or D'Man spanking any of the kids. But... I'd have a hard time doing anything about it legally. And while that sucks, it's reality.
    I guess I am lucky to be in Mass....If it happened to me I would have recourse! Those bleeding-heart, liberal judges don't like legal strangers hitting kids...
  14. #14
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by baystategirl View Post
    I guess I am lucky to be in Mass....If it happened to me I would have recourse! Those bleeding-heart, liberal judges don't like legal strangers hitting kids...

    MO and KS are pretty much the buckle of the bible belt. 'We' still believe in hitting our kids and define abuse as 'causing lasting or permanent damage'.
  15. #15
    Hippie Chik is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks for all of your responses.

    I kind of expected that it would be something we probably couldn't do anything about. Just p*sses me off that because a church says that God wants you to hit your kids it is suddenly okay. I would rather deal with a drugged out, alcoholic than a reborn evangelical, it is complete madness the things they come up with.

    Thanks again.
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