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  1. #1
    hilariehowell is offline Junior Member
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    Splitting the time between parents

    What is the name of your state? Arizona

    I have a four year old son with my ex. We have joint legal custody, but I am the custodial parent. Recently, my ex became a fire fighter and works a crazy schedule. We have been trying out a new schedule with his visitation, but now it seems that my son is basically splitting the time between parents. I have my son five nights, then my ex gets him four nights. I do not like the schedule. I miss my son and I am afraid it is going to interfere when his activities begin this summer and when he begins Kindergarten in August. I want to go back to a schedule where the days of the father's visitation are consistent every week because I believe this is the best for my son. I have a good relationship with my ex, but it seems he has been calling all the shots and I have just had to roll with the punches. Please advise.
  2. #2
    NotSoNew is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by hilariehowell
    but now it seems that my son is basically splitting the time between parents.

    what is wrong with that?

    Quote Originally Posted by hilariehowell
    I have my son five nights, then my ex gets him four nights. I do not like the schedule. I miss my son

    this isnt about YOU, its about your son, i am sure he misses his dad.

    Quote Originally Posted by hilariehowell
    and I am afraid it is going to interfere when his activities begin this summer and when he begins Kindergarten in August.

    why? does dad live to dar away to drive him to these things?
  3. #3
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by hilariehowell
    What is the name of your state? Arizona

    I have a four year old son with my ex. We have joint legal custody, but I am the custodial parent. Recently, my ex became a fire fighter and works a crazy schedule. We have been trying out a new schedule with his visitation, but now it seems that my son is basically splitting the time between parents. I have my son five nights, then my ex gets him four nights. I do not like the schedule. I miss my son and I am afraid it is going to interfere when his activities begin this summer and when he begins Kindergarten in August. I want to go back to a schedule where the days of the father's visitation are consistent every week because I believe this is the best for my son. I have a good relationship with my ex, but it seems he has been calling all the shots and I have just had to roll with the punches. Please advise.
    How far apart do you and the ex live?
    How far from the school are each of you?
    What sorts of activities is the child involved in (or you're planning to involve him in) that you feel will be affected?
    How long have you been apart?
    Does the child appear to be negatively affected by the current schedule?

    I understand missing your child. I was a stay at home mom for more than 5 years, and when I got divorced, I went to work full time and split custody with the ex almost 50/50. It sucked for me for almost 2 years before I really got used to it. But the kids have thrived, and that's what matters.
  4. #4
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    And dad wouldn't miss HIS time if he had far less time with his child? My dad died young, and all the time I spent with him was FAR more important than any extra curricular activity ever was!
    Last edited by nextwife; 02-16-2006 at 09:59 AM.
  5. #5
    txrose1998 is offline Member
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    I know it is rough, but if you do have a cordial relationship with your ex.....go with it......you never know what might happen to your schedule one day and he will remember that you worked with him and maybe he will work more easily with you**************I know it is hard, but it will get easier....
  6. #6
    Halls is offline Member
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    How does your son do with the split time like this? Does he do well socially? If he seems to do well with this type of custody than I'd keep it that way if possible. If school starts and it is clear he isn't doing well with the schedule than I'd approach your ex about it and see what you can work out. As long as you and your ex live close together, get along good, and your son does well split like that than I would say not to change it and keep it that way. Of course not everything is that easy so work out what you can. I have a friend that splits every 2 days with her ex. They live close to each other, work together, and share the kids in every way. Even if it one parents day and not the other they still find ways to see the kids by going to their school and having lunch, attending extra functions that the child has after school. So far the kids seem to do well so they decided to keep it that way. Some situations don't work like that, mine would never. My son's father lives 40 minutes away and his dad works all the time. He doesn't want split schedule anyhow, but if he lived near us, worked less, and my son liked going between our homes I'd work it out that way, but it wouldn't work so his dad has standard visitation. It is best to work together and Coparent without going to court over visitation. It sounds like you and your ex could sit down and discuss this and work something out. Good luck!

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