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  1. #1
    samin is offline Junior Member
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    Status Conference vs. Settlement Conference

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

    A little bit of background: My divorce is almost finalized, we share joint physical and legal custody (currently I have 30% visitation) and I want to ask for a detailed parenting plan to be included with a step up plan to 40% to take effect when our son is 3 (he's 22mths right now). Her attorney prepared a judgment stipulation which included the word "Temporary" at the top of the custody portion, as my wife would not agree to a parenting plan being included, nor would she agreed to alternate the Christmas holiday as she feels that she should have it in perpetuity. I am not agreeing to sign this as I have no idea if the "Temporary" stipulation would mean anything. So, her attorney has now stated that if I do not sign it she will file for a status conference - and that in her experience - the judge will probably mark the order as "Temporary" anyway if we cannot come to agreement in the Status Conference. I don't know if that's true. What generally happens in a Status Conference? Will a judge make an order for mediation, or make an order to proceed to a Settlement Conference? I consulted with an attorney (this is Alameda, CA) and I was told that there is no way our judge will let this case go to trial and that what I am asking for is very reasonable. I am also fearful that she will try to move away, so I also want to ask the judge for a move away clause.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
  2. #2
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Your major hang ups are that the order says "temporary" and that your ex doesn't want to alternate Christmas?

    How much are you willing to pay in legal fees to fight over those two things?

    My kids have spent every Christmas of their lives waking up in my house. We've been divorced for 7 years, and the oldest will be 18 in 3 more years. between now and then, she'll spend every Christmas with me. No one has died of it, or even been emotionally damaged.
  3. #3
    samin is offline Junior Member
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    I am seeking a response only from an attorney, or anyone who has any knowledge of California family law. I am not interested in any personal opinions.
  4. #4
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by samin View Post
    I am seeking a response only from an attorney, or anyone who has any knowledge of California family law. I am not interested in any personal opinions.
    Feel free to HIRE an attorney then. Jerk.

    Might want to practice with attorney contracts by first READING the TOS of this site.

    Have a nice night.
  5. #5
    samin is offline Junior Member
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    If anyone has any legal advice with experience in California, or other states for that matter, I'd be interested in hearinig. Otherwise, I will not respond to intimidation or name calling.
  6. #6
    frylover is offline Senior Member
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    Well, you were just rude to two people (CJane and Blue) who ARE very knowlegable, and COULD have helped you. Once some of the others here who could also have helped (like Prosperina, Antigone, and Court Clerk, who actually works in the court systme in CA) see that, they likely won't help you either.

    You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Just sayin.....
  7. #7
    samin is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by frylover View Post
    Well, you were just rude to two people (CJane and Blue) who ARE very knowlegable, and COULD have helped you. Once some of the others here who could also have helped (like Prosperina, Antigone, and Court Clerk, who actually works in the court systme in CA) see that, they likely won't help you either.

    You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Just sayin.....
    I was rude? That's an interesting comment. If you look at my question you can see it is a very straightforward question. If you look at the first response you can see that the answer was rude. I responded that I was interested in legal advise, I didn't say "not sarcasm" but that is what I received. Then, I receive another rude response which included intimidation and name calling.

    With advisors like that, I'll pass, thank you very much.
  8. #8
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by samin View Post
    I was rude? That's an interesting comment. If you look at my question you can see it is a very straightforward question. If you look at the first response you can see that the answer was rude. I responded that I was interested in legal advise, I didn't say "not sarcasm" but that is what I received. Then, I receive another rude response which included intimidation and name calling.

    With advisors like that, I'll pass, thank you very much.


    I'll give it a shot.

    Is this a hill you want to die on? Really?

    Pick your battles. And yes, go ahead and pay an attorney to tell you the EXACT same thing. You need to FOCUS.

    CJane's response wasn't rude in the slightest.

    Go and read the ToS.
  9. #9
    samin is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Proserpina View Post
    I'll give it a shot.

    Is this a hill you want to die on? Really?

    Pick your battles. And yes, go ahead and pay an attorney to tell you the EXACT same thing. You need to FOCUS.

    CJane's response wasn't rude in the slightest.

    Go and read the ToS.
    CJane's response was rude to me and it came across as sarcastic. Why are custody issues "hang ups" as she called them? Why is it not important that a child spend the Christmas holidays equally with both parents. Why should the father miss out on that aspect of his son's life because the mother wants it in perpetuity. I thought California was equal rights for fathers? The main issues I have issue are that I want to incorporate a step up plan and include a parenting plan, something that is standard, and I want to include a standard move away clause to ensure continuing uninterrupted contact with both parents.

    Also, I have hired an attorney but wanted to reach out and get some on line responses. From what I have seen on this forum, there seems to be a lot of bullying going on. Something I will not participate in.
  10. #10
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by samin View Post
    CJane's response was rude to me and it came across as sarcastic. Why are custody issues "hang ups" as she called them? Why is it not important that a child spend the Christmas holidays equally with both parents. Why should the father miss out on that aspect of his son's life because the mother wants it in perpetuity. I thought California was equal rights for fathers? The main issues I have issue are that I want to incorporate a step up plan and include a parenting plan, something that is standard, and I want to include a standard move away clause to ensure continuing uninterrupted contact with both parents.

    Also, I have hired an attorney but wanted to reach out and get some on line responses. From what I have seen on this forum, there seems to be a lot of bullying going on. Something I will not participate in.

    We cannot second guess your attorney who knows your case, and the local climate. So speak with your attorney.

    (Though as a freebie, even if you get a move away clause if Mom has a decent reason to relocate she may well be able to convince the court to to allow the relocation with the kids - even over your objections)
  11. #11
    samin is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Proserpina View Post
    We cannot second guess your attorney who knows your case, and the local climate. So speak with your attorney.

    (Though as a freebie, even if you get a move away clause if Mom has a decent reason to relocate she may well be able to convince the court to to allow the relocation with the kids - even over your objections)
    Thank you, I've heard of that, but I've also heard of Footnote 12 being brought in, but it would be harder for her to move with a move away clause. But anyway, thanks for your help.

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