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step mother rights

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ceara19

Senior Member
Ok so I have a question then.... What if there are situations where I feel my son is not in a healthy environment because of the step mother. My son is 11. A year and a half ago, she took him to the gyno with her IN THE ROOM. I had no idea until he came home crying. He said "i didnt mean to look mama, but I couldnt help it". He was going thru early puberty and this caused a tremendous amount of guilt for him. Another instance is when she was angry and threw a glass at my ex and almost hit my son. He came home and told me about this also. If this happened with a day care provider or someone similar, I would have wanted to press charges or something. But with her, I can do nothing.

She is also the one that writes the child support checks with "step-sons support" written in the memo. She has actually sent me a check in the mail for $2.00 when the original check was a couple dollars short. Talk about disrespectful!!! There are many other instances. She does nothing to keep the peace.

Is there anything that can be done in those kinds of situations?
To change anything would require at least one trip to court and most likely at least 2. Which will cost quite a bit of time and money. So, I'll ask again, have you ever made an HONEST EFFORT to try and be "friends" with this woman?

Maye part of her disrespect and contempt towards YOU stems from the fact that you have spurned her attempts to try and get along.
 


momofrose

Senior Member
Ok so I have a question then.... What if there are situations where I feel my son is not in a healthy environment because of the step mother. My son is 11. A year and a half ago, she took him to the gyno with her IN THE ROOM. I had no idea until he came home crying. He said "i didnt mean to look mama, but I couldnt help it". He was going thru early puberty and this caused a tremendous amount of guilt for him. Another instance is when she was angry and threw a glass at my ex and almost hit my son. He came home and told me about this also. If this happened with a day care provider or someone similar, I would have wanted to press charges or something. But with her, I can do nothing.

These all should have been addressed when it happened.

She is also the one that writes the child support checks with "step-sons support" written in the memo. She has actually sent me a check in the mail for $2.00 when the original check was a couple dollars short. Talk about disrespectful!!! There are many other instances. She does nothing to keep the peace.

I am not sure I understand what the problem is when she writes "step sons support" or that she send's you a check for $2.00 when the support amount is wrong. I am missing something with that one.

Is there anything that can be done in those kinds of situations?
I do think that maybe you are nitpicking a bit (the check thing)...

D
 

tammy8

Senior Member
OMG you have to be joking about the gyno appointment! The dr's office won't even let my own husband the room with me, unless it is just for a normal consult. I think the issue should be with the dr's office if this is true****************************...

This is nOT legal advice, but hopefully helpful advice. In being a former stepmother of 5, stop the power struggle and she will ease off. She is probably trying to prove that she is worthy of loving and taking care of the children and probably doesn't mean to step on your toes like she does. It took me a while to help coparent with my former stepkids Mother (simply because it was safer for all involved if my former step's parents dealing with each other:rolleyes: because of all the anger from the divorce) as we both were acting like children in trying to *one up* the other female, but now 2 yrs after my own divorce, I get along quite nicely with both parents. Good luck.
 

jbowman

Senior Member
Sorry, I should have clarified, I am a different poster than the person who posted the original question. And there is much more than the 2.00 check which by itself seems like nitpicking, youre right. I assume there is not much I can do about this situation because she has married my son's father.

We just moved from a not-so-hot neighborhood. She stated to my son "im so glad you moved because every time there was a shooting on tv, I thought it was you". Those sorts of things seriously bother me. What kind of thing is that to say to an 11 year old? My point is that if this was anyone else, I could express my concern but because she is his step mother now, I have to suck it up and accept that there is a person that has a legitimate right to influence my child.
 

ceara19

Senior Member
as for playing nice, if you read,i already did that. hurt me once,shame on you.hurt me twice,shame on me.
But this isn't about YOU. As parents, we sometimes have to put our own pride aside and do what is best for the CHILDREN.

Which do you think will be better for YOUR children, a long, expensive court battle with their father or trying to play nice with their step mother?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
At the end of the day, it simply isn't worth the drawn out fight. I'm not fond of my kids' stepmother, but she's a part of their lives and that's that. The three of us started a huge power struggle with communication - he insists that the only email he will respond through is his wife's, and that pissed me off. Our kids, not hers. But ya know? It takes more energy to argue about it than just deal. So I send email to her addy as well as his two - he can read them from whichever addy he chooses to.

In terms of school, while she is able to request certain info based on Dad's permission, there are certain issues that the school will only discuss with me or him. It is their policy that they will only discuss child-specific issues with the legal parents and/or guardians.

Some hills aren't worth dying on.
 

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