step mother rights!

[cutNcolor]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OH I am engaged to my boyfriend of two years. We currently live together. He was previously married and has a 3 year old son. We are now facing a problem with the ex wife, she does not want me involved at all, this includes not being with my fiance when he picks up his son or me not being at my own apartment when she comes to get him. my question is does she have the power to make any of theses decisions? even tho i have never done anything to her or the son, i love him as if he was my own and want to be involved in his life. also what rights do i have as a "stepmother"? HELP PLEASE

 

[futuredust]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OH I am engaged to my boyfriend of two years. We currently live together. He was previously married and has a 3 year old son. We are now facing a problem with the ex wife, she does not want me involved at all, this includes not being with my fiance when he picks up his son or me not being at my own apartment when she comes to get him. my question is does she have the power to make any of theses decisions? even tho i have never done anything to her or the son, i love him as if he was my own and want to be involved in his life. also what rights do i have as a "stepmother"? HELP PLEASE

First, you are not a step mother.

 

[cutNcolor]

step mother

i will be. i have been in his life for two years he knows me as a step mother.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OH I am engaged to my boyfriend of two years. We currently live together.

Okay.

He was previously married and has a 3 year old son.

Okay.

We are now facing a problem with the ex wife, she does not want me involved at all, this includes not being with my fiance when he picks up his son or me not being at my own apartment when she comes to get him.

Stay away from mom then. Make yourself scarce.

my question is does she have the power to make any of theses decisions?

She has the power to determine she doesn't want you in her face. She doesn't you involved with decisions for her child.

even tho i have never done anything to her or the son, i love him as if he was my own

HE is NOT your child.

and want to be involved in his life. also what rights do i have as a "stepmother"? HELP PLEASE

YOU are nothing but a girlfriend. YOU have no rights except to be in your home. You can accompany dad in his vehicle but you cannot go the door of her house if she doesnt' want you there. You can wait in the car.

YOU are not a stepmother. EVEN if you were a stepmother, you have no rights to the child. You have no rights to make ANY decisions regarding the child. You cannot attend doctor's appointments, conferences or anything else that is under the role of the PARENT. You need to realize the dividing line because if you do not YOU will find a judge slapping a third party order against you prohibiting you from interfering.
You need to let dad PARENT the child with his ex-wife. The child has TWO PARENTS -- you are not either one of those parents. And never will be.

 

[Ohiogal]

i will be. i have been in his life for two years he knows me as a step mother.

Then you have lied to him and your boyfriend can find a judge slapping a third party order against "you" prohibiting him from allowing you to be involved. What does the child call you?

 

[cutNcolor]

this site is heartless. people out there need to realize that YES a STEPPARENT can be a awesome experience, i had a step mother and she was a very big and great influence on MY life. i only wish to do the same. i do not make any of the decisions. but I am in his life weather the mother likes it or not. whoever replied to this must be against ex husbands moving on! don't hate on girlfriends or "STEPMOTHERS" we can make an impact on a childs life also....wake up its 2009, things are different now.

 

[Ohiogal]

this site is heartless. people out there need to realize that YES a STEPPARENT can be a awesome experience, i had a step mother and she was a very big and great influence on MY life. i only wish to do the same. i do not make any of the decisions. but I am in his life weather the mother likes it or not. whoever replied to this must be against ex husbands moving on! don't hate on girlfriends or "STEPMOTHERS" we can make an impact on a childs life also....wake up its 2009, things are different now.

THE LAW DOES NOT GIVE YOU ANY RIGHTS. This is a legal site. Do you have a comprehension problem? Seriously? STEPPARENTS HAVE NO RIGHTS. And bedwarmers who are not married have no rights either to children that are not theirs. GOT IT? This child is NOT yours. I don't care what you emotionally think about being a stepparent.

By the way I am an attorney in Ohio. And a Guardian ad litem. I have seen judges in this state put third part no interference orders in place because stepparents and bedwarmers decide to overstep. I was trying to give you a friendly warning. Now if you are too dumb to realize that I cannot help you.


ETA: I notice you avoided answering my question regarding what the child calls you.

 

[futuredust]

this site is heartless. people out there need to realize that YES a STEPPARENT can be a awesome experience, i had a step mother and she was a very big and great influence on MY life. i only wish to do the same. i do not make any of the decisions. but I am in his life weather the mother likes it or not. whoever replied to this must be against ex husbands moving on! don't hate on girlfriends or "STEPMOTHERS" we can make an impact on a childs life also....wake up its 2009, things are different now.

Things are different now, courts recognize the negative impact some step's inflict on children and have put in to place laws to cut down on the conflict.

You are on a legal site, not oprah or dr phil, no one will hold you hand and tell you it is ok, pretend to be mommy to junior when he has a mommy already.

Grow up and get over yourself, this is not about you, not at all.

 

[cyjeff]

this site is heartless. people out there need to realize that YES a STEPPARENT can be a awesome experience, i had a step mother and she was a very big and great influence on MY life. i only wish to do the same. i do not make any of the decisions. but I am in his life weather the mother likes it or not. whoever replied to this must be against ex husbands moving on! don't hate on girlfriends or "STEPMOTHERS" we can make an impact on a childs life also....wake up its 2009, things are different now.

I AM a stepfather. For the last 10 years, I have raised another man's child as my own... with as much love, frustration and passion as I could muster.

However, legally, you and I have the same legal rights to her. I cannot sign for school or for medical care. I am not her father and, if my wife and I divorce, have no continuing input into her life that the father and mother don't give me.

Things are no different. You are still a legal stranger to the child... as am I. I have no say in any legal aspect of her life. None. No if's, and's buts' or even if's.

Further, your intrusion as "mommy" could seriously impact the amount of time the father of the child has... because a meddling stepparent can be seen, correctly, as an intrusion into the protected domain of the child's legal parents.

In every way that matters from a legal aspect, step parents lose... out of hand.

 

[cutNcolor]

no its not all about me, i never said it was. you all are heartless. enough said and this site is a bunch of crooks! we will see obviously my fiance's attorney is way better than anyone on here because she completely agrees with us. IF SOME ONE IS LEGALLY DIVORCED they both have the right to have who ever they want around the child during there scheduled time with the child. hope u all have a terrible and miserable life, as it sounds you already do!!!

 

[Ohiogal]

no its not all about me, i never said it was. you all are heartless. enough said and this site is a bunch of crooks! we will see obviously my fiance's attorney is way better than anyone on here because she completely agrees with us. IF SOME ONE IS LEGALLY DIVORCED they both have the right to have who ever they want around the child during there scheduled time with the child. hope u all have a terrible and miserable life, as it sounds you already do!!!

You are stupid. No one said you couldn't be around the child. NO ONE said that. Apparently that comprehension problem exists. A bunch of crooks? You are the one stealing our time with your stupidity. What was said was to stay out of mom's way. And realize your place. Reread what I stated:

YOU have no rights except to be in your home. You can accompany dad in his vehicle but you cannot go the door of her house if she doesnt' want you there. You can wait in the car.
YOU are not a stepmother. EVEN if you were a stepmother, you have no rights to the child. You have no rights to make ANY decisions regarding the child. You cannot attend doctor's appointments, conferences or anything else that is under the role of the PARENT. You need to realize the dividing line because if you do not YOU will find a judge slapping a third party order against you prohibiting you from interfering.

Again, you lack basic simple intelligence don't you? NOW what does the child call you?

 

[cutNcolor]

that statement was not directed to YOU! thank you. it was directed to whomever is referring to me as a "BEDWARMER", please. and i have never even spoken to the mother, she refuses to get to know me and not once have i been in her way what so ever, the few times i have been with my fiance to get his son i did sit quietly in the car. nothing was said. the child calls me by my first name. i would never enforce or allow him to call me "mom" or anything of that matter, he is only three but he does understand the situation, no maybe not fully but he does. thank you for your response, it was kinder than the others.

 

[cyjeff]

no its not all about me, i never said it was. you all are heartless. enough said and this site is a bunch of crooks! we will see obviously my fiance's attorney is way better than anyone on here because she completely agrees with us. IF SOME ONE IS LEGALLY DIVORCED they both have the right to have who ever they want around the child during there scheduled time with the child. hope u all have a terrible and miserable life, as it sounds you already do!!!

I just want you to ask one question of this excellent attorney.

Ask if you can testify at your husband's child's next custody hearing. When she says "no", ask her why...

And it is not uncommon for custody orders to prevent overnight sexual guests while the children are present. Happens on a daily basis.

 

[cyjeff]

that statement was not directed to YOU! thank you. it was directed to whomever is referring to me as a "BEDWARMER", please.

Fiancee is not a legal term and has no relevance in a court of law. It means that a person not married to the parent is sleeping over.

That may be deemed by the court as inappropriate. From a personal standpoint, I agree.

If you want to sleep over, marry him.

and i have never even spoken to the mother, she refuses to get to know me

She does not have to get to know you. She does not have to speak to you. She does not have to like you or try to get along with you.

Legally, she and you have the same connection as the guy in the next car on the freeway.

and not once have i been in her way what so ever,

You haven't spoken to her but you KNOW this? How?

Don't bother answering, you don't.

he is only three but he does understand the situation, no maybe not fully but he does.

All the more reason for you to find another place to sleep when he is with his father.

 

[cutNcolor]

i am going to marry him in about a month and a half. we live together why should i find another place to "sleep"? where should i go? i LIVE here. thats just out of the question