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Step-parent rights when natural parent dies

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genebean

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?ND
My son is know 13, I have not been w/BIO since I was 5 months pregnant. His BIO does pay child support, when he works (garnished wages). BIO is a felon, alcoholic, and drug user, has been clean at times but not always. The only reason he would want said child is for SS, surprise, surprise, I have not worked since I met my husband when my son was 21 months old! Stay at home mom w/4 children.(37 years old)
My husband and I did not marry until 2000. My husband has helped raise my son all these years! (financally,emotionally etc...)My husband has been the only dad my son has ever known (has step-brother, half sister and brother) that he dearly loves and wants to stay with! He does not want to ever go with BIO!
My son was born w/a VSD (heart disability) he was able to draw SSI and medicaid the first few years of his life. When my son could no longer get this I went after child support. This is ordered in the state of MT, I have full custody. BIO has had nothing to do w/him, Bio also has 3 other children from 3 other women but none of them went after CS they were just happy to have him out of their lives.( son has regular medical exams for VSD)
BIO would let step-dad adopt just to get out of paying CS, but Bio needs to be responsible for CS!! (arrears are at 20,000) Bio is unable to take care of my sons medical and emotional needs, Bio has no clue about these matters!
I am also a tribal member of Ft. Peck tribes out of MT. (both step-dad and Bio are white) Bio has no contact w/my son except the random CS payments! The last time I even had contact was years ago (4 or 5 at least)
We found out I have a heart problem that will eventually kill me. We will know how fast it is progressing in about 3 months!!! I want him to stay w/his dad, my husband! Would a will help!
 


stealth2

Under the Radar Member
No, you cannot will your child. BioDad would have "first dibs", as it were.

At this point, you have to think about what would be best for your son in the long run. Holding bioDad liable for the arrears, or waiving those so that stepDad can adopt. I agree that bioDad should be responsible. However, there's also the best interests of the child that need to be addressed.

Personally, I'd waive the arrears for the adoption.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
stealth2 said:
No, you cannot will your child. BioDad would have "first dibs", as it were.

At this point, you have to think about what would be best for your son in the long run. Holding bioDad liable for the arrears, or waiving those so that stepDad can adopt. I agree that bioDad should be responsible. However, there's also the best interests of the child that need to be addressed.

Personally, I'd waive the arrears for the adoption.
I agree. Isn't your child's long term security WORTH $20,000?

I am not certain how tribal law would affect the adoption rights of stepdad, but I do believe that you need to check and see what restrictions, if any apply to stepdad's potential adoption of a child that may be partially governed by tribal law.
 

tigger22472

Senior Member
I agree with the other posters also. In my case the bio didn't contact before (or after) the adoption was filed. However, had he done so I was fully prepared to forgive the 20K+ he owed. He would have still owed the state $3,500 but that's a far cry from 25K. My children's future was more important then that money.
 

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