Step Parents Rights

[rehawk2308]

What is the name of your state? New Jersey
I have been seperated from my second wife for two years and after we split she sent my step kids to live with their father. He died about a year ago of a drug overdose and my ex's sister and husband have obtained emergency custody of my step daughter. I originally believed that this would be good for her but she has not been aloud to see me or even call me. When she does she is punished severly. She secretley contacts me and asks to come live with me complaining that she is being emotionally abused. What rights do I have to see her or even obtain permanent custody?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? New Jersey
I have been seperated from my second wife for two years and after we split she sent my step kids to live with their father. He died about a year ago of a drug overdose and my ex's sister and husband have obtained emergency custody of my step daughter. I originally believed that this would be good for her but she has not been aloud to see me or even call me. When she does she is punished severly. She secretley contacts me and asks to come live with me complaining that she is being emotionally abused. What rights do I have to see her or even obtain permanent custody?

You have no rights to her whatsoever. Sorry.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? New Jersey
I have been seperated from my second wife for two years and after we split she sent my step kids to live with their father. He died about a year ago of a drug overdose and my ex's sister and husband have obtained emergency custody of my step daughter. I originally believed that this would be good for her but she has not been aloud to see me or even call me. When she does she is punished severly. She secretley contacts me and asks to come live with me complaining that she is being emotionally abused. What rights do I have to see her or even obtain permanent custody?

I am sorry, but you don't even have standing to sue for custody or visitation. You are a legal stranger to the child.

 

[psfunkytek]

The previous posts are basically correct...

You are a legal stranger and don't have standing in this cases, HOWEVER I don't believe aunts and uncles do either.

I am generally very hard on step parents posting messages such as yours, but I give credit where credit is due and it is obvious that you care for your step daughter and she clearly sees you as an ali, so for that I commend and respect you.

You don't say the age of your step daughter, but keep in mind that teens don't generally like strict rules or structure, so your step daughter MAY be trying to manipulate you to get her way and a bit more freedom.

Even if she's not, my BEST suggestion to you if you really care for this girl is to KISS UP, KISS UP, KISS UP to the aunt and uncle that she is living with and hope that they will allow you to be a part of this girls life. If you are successful in accomplishing that, then you'll have to be highly respectful of their rules and way of doing things, even when you disagree.

Good luck to you and sounds like your step daughter is / would be lucky to have you in her corner.

 

[msiron]

The more people allowed in her life now, to love her, the better for the girl. When she hits 18 she can live with you.

 

[Ohiogal]

You are a legal stranger and don't have standing in this cases, HOWEVER I don't believe aunts and uncles do either.

Actually you are wrong for a few reasons -- he has referred to this woman as his EX and he no longer has a relationship. The aunt and uncle are blood relations -- blood is thicker than water. They obtained a court order for emergency custody based on his post.

 

[LdiJ]

Actually you are wrong for a few reasons -- he has referred to this woman as his EX and he no longer has a relationship. The aunt and uncle are blood relations -- blood is thicker than water. They obtained a court order for emergency custody based on his post.

Or, got an order for guardianship/custody based on not only their blood relationship to the child, but with mom's agreement....as the only remaining legal parent to the child.

Rehawk I do understand your paternal feelings regarding the child, but honestly you have no legal standing in NJ. If you are giving her any encouragement at all you are only making things tougher for her, because it will NOT happen.

 

[psfunkytek]

I was vague for a reason....

Actually you are wrong for a few reasons -- he has referred to this woman as his EX and he no longer has a relationship. The aunt and uncle are blood relations -- blood is thicker than water. They obtained a court order for emergency custody based on his post.

Not EVERY state gives legal standing (I define that as the RIGHT to bring a court action regarding custody) to someone simply because they are blood relative. For example where I live, if the parents of a child don't live together, grandparents have standing, however if they DO live together, grandparents have no more standing that a total stranger or a step parent (nor do other relatives).

If here stepdaughter IS actually being emotionally abused (which I doubt), then the court can remove her from the home as CAN place her in foster care, and the stepmother would be eligible to have the child with her (although I don't know if this applies in OP's state). In a case such as this the action MUST be initiated by CPS or such agency removing the child from the home and since I would NEVER suggest this stepmom, who sounds like a loving and decent person, to become one of those people who terrorize the current guardians by continually making CPS reports etc. in attempt to get custody when they otherwise have no standing, I gave the best advice I could.

I probably should have qualified the statement in my original post to clarify that this was simply a state law where I live that is complicated to apply at best. I didn't elaborate because it wasn't really related to the advice I wanted to give, now that I think about it, I probably should have mentioned it at all in that context.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

I have a question for the OP. You said there were two children involved.

Clarify please.