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Steps to file for a modification in child custody

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michaeld

Guest
What is the name of your state? Mississippi

My ex-wife and I have two boys, ages 10 and 13. When we divorced, the court ordered joint custody, with the children's primary residence being with the mother. All major decisions regarding our boys were supposed to be made jointly. This was 10 years ago. About 5 years ago, she moved with the boys from Florida to Illinois. I did not know about this move until after it happened. I did not make a big deal out of it at the time. I have just tried to work under the new circumstances.

However, now my ex-wife no longer has a telephone, because of financial reasons, where I can call them. The only communication I have with them is by letter. I have also now been told that my 10 year old needs to improve his grades and will be going to summer school instead of visiting me this summer. I am now remarried and would like to file for custody of my sons. I not only believe I can provide a more stable environment for them, but I also believe that teenage boys need a strong male role model. This brings me to my question. The original court order was issued in Florida. My ex lives in Illinois and I live in Mississippi. How do I go about filing for custody modification? What should I expect to spend? Also, does anyone know if my son really needs to attend summer school, if he could do it at the school in my school district instead? My true belief is that my ex is just trying to keep me from seeing him. The older brother already wants to live with me, but I don't want to split them up. I think she believes that the more time he spends with me, the more likely it will be that he will decide on his own that he wants to live here too. At what age are children allowed to choose?

Any advice would be appreciated! :)
 


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Boxcarbill

Guest
FL lost jurisdiction over all matters when all the parties moved from FL. IL became the state home state of the children after they lived there for 6 months (and even before for all practical purposes). So any suit regarding custody or visitation should be original filed in IL.

Children can "chose" who they want to live with when they are 18 but a court can interview the child and the older the child is the greater weight given to the child's preference of custodial parent. All things being equal between the parents, the court will go along with a teenagers wishes.
 
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michaeld

Guest
Thanks for your input. The most recent child support modification (about 2 years ago) was done in Florida, so I didn't know about the custody issue.

Considering the distance, would it be a strike against me if an attorney represented me solely and I wasn't present for the hearing?
 
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Boxcarbill

Guest
michaeld said:
Thanks for your input. The most recent child support modification (about 2 years ago) was done in Florida, so I didn't know about the custody issue.

Considering the distance, would it be a strike against me if an attorney represented me solely and I wasn't present for the hearing?
The UCCJEA certainly allows for the court to grant permission for a witness or a party to give testimony by telephone. Honestly, on a personal level, I could not grant custody to someone who didn't think it was important enough to warrant their physical presence at trial. (Child support matters are totally different because there we are literally talking about a paper fight. So faxes and telephones are great. But custody is just to damn important an issue to half-ass it.)
 
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michaeld

Guest
I appreciate your honesty. The time it would take to be present is not the issue. I would definitely prefer to be present. Not knowing the cost of the custody battle, I just wasn't sure I would have the funds for the trip. But I feel just from your response, that I shouldn't begin this process until I'm sure I have the money for the trip up there as well.

Thanks for your response!
 

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