Supervised Visitation Schedule

[NYdad88]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

I added this question to a previous thread, but didn't know if it got lost in the new threads.

I was awarded Sole physical and legal custody of my 1 1/2 year old daughter. Mother was awarded Supervised visitation only in the state if NY. After picking her up from TX six months ago, mom remained in her home state of Texas, has not been to visit. I do Skype with Mom and daughter once or twice a week.

Mom just informed me she had rented an apartment around the block from my home and would be moving up I'm a few weeks. The custody order does not stipulate a visitation schedule. And moms words express to me she expects it daily. As I have to obtain a supervisor to sit with them, most probably my mother who watches her while I work, this I'd not practical. Would twice a week for 2 or 3 hours at a park or local spot, (as daughters mom does not drive), be adequate?

And am I correct to assume that it would be up to mom to petition the court for more liberal visitation? It was ordered from the judge as daughter would be at risk of being abducted out of state. Thanks for your help. This part of custody is new to me.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

I added this question to a previous thread, but didn't know if it got lost in the new threads.

I was awarded Sole physical and legal custody of my 1 1/2 year old daughter. Mother was awarded Supervised visitation only in the state if NY. After picking her up from TX six months ago, mom remained in her home state of Texas, has not been to visit. I do Skype with Mom and daughter once or twice a week.

Mom just informed me she had rented an apartment around the block from my home and would be moving up I'm a few weeks. The custody order does not stipulate a visitation schedule. And moms words express to me she expects it daily. As I have to obtain a supervisor to sit with them, most probably my mother who watches her while I work, this I'd not practical. Would twice a week for 2 or 3 hours at a park or local spot, (as daughters mom does not drive), be adequate?

And am I correct to assume that it would be up to mom to petition the court for more liberal visitation? It was ordered from the judge as daughter would be at risk of being abducted out of state. Thanks for your help. This part of custody is new to me.

I think that maybe you are making this too complicated. Would it be a problem for mom to visit the child wherever it is that your mom is caring for the child?

 

[not2cleverRed]

I don't think Dad is trying to make it over complicated, but given Mom's past, he should be cautious.

What is the EXACT wording in your order on visitation? Surely it says something beyond, "supervised visitation only in the state of NY". In fact, given the flight risk, I would not be surprised if a specific county were named.

Otherwise, if you are comfortable with 2 days a week, for 3 hours, supervised, then go with that. Set down some sort of boundaries as to what days of the week these 2 days will be, where pick up and drop off are, etc.

However, do not be surprised if Mom goes to probation intake and files for modification of custody/visitation - don't worry when you get a copy of her petition asking for M-F 9AM - 5PM, or a complete change of custody. It does not mean that she will get what she wants - she's just asking.

Do be prepared to prove the necessity for supervised visitation - which you sadly have.

How visitation is set up is subject to a myriad of things - most of which don't translate well online, or even in person, unless one is a party to all details. Family Court in NY can be tricky, or at least in Suffolk County. The most important advice I can give is to be calm and wait your turn in court to tell your side of things and prepared with any and all paperwork you could need.

 

[NYdad88]

I think that maybe you are making this too complicated. Would it be a problem for mom to visit the child wherever it is that your mom is caring for the child?

I guess logistics can be worked out. I don't know if coming to our home would sit well with my ex, I suppose the where can be ironed out, I'm also just curious as to the when. Don't know if the court would think the twice a week adequate for her supervised visits.

 

[NYdad88]

I don't think Dad is trying to make it over complicated, but given Mom's past, he should be cautious.

What is the EXACT wording in your order on visitation? Surely it says something beyond, "supervised visitation only in the state of NY". In fact, given the flight risk, I would not be surprised if a specific county were named.

Otherwise, if you are comfortable with 2 days a week, for 3 hours, supervised, then go with that. Set down some sort of boundaries as to what days of the week these 2 days will be, where pick up and drop off are, etc.

However, do not be surprised if Mom goes to probation intake and files for modification of custody/visitation - don't worry when you get a copy of her petition asking for M-F 9AM - 5PM, or a complete change of custody. It does not mean that she will get what she wants - she's just asking.

Do be prepared to prove the necessity for supervised visitation - which you sadly have.

How visitation is set up is subject to a myriad of things - most of which don't translate well online, or even in person, unless one is a party to all details. Family Court in NY can be tricky, or at least in Suffolk County. The most important advice I can give is to be calm and wait your turn in court to tell your side of things and prepared with any and all paperwork you could need.[/Qgreat

This is in Orange County NY, and the judge we had during custody was great. Actually that is exactly what the order states, which is why I'm trying to come up with something myself.

 

[Silverplum]

I guess logistics can be worked out. I don't know if coming to our home would sit well with my ex, I suppose the where can be ironed out, I'm also just curious as to the when. Don't know if the court would think the twice a week adequate for her supervised visits.

Normal parents who have done nothing wrong except be named noncustodial parent (oh, usually because the NCP2B is working) get 48 hours every two weeks. Twice a week for your X is more than "adequate."

 

[LdiJ]

I guess logistics can be worked out. I don't know if coming to our home would sit well with my ex, I suppose the where can be ironed out, I'm also just curious as to the when. Don't know if the court would think the twice a week adequate for her supervised visits.

It would certainly be easier on your mother if you can convince the ex to visit at your house.

 

[NYdad88]

Normal parents who have done nothing wrong except be named noncustodial parent (oh, usually because the NCP2B is working) get 48 hours every two weeks. Twice a week for your X is more than "adequate."

Thank you all for your input. I can talk to ex and mom about what would be comfortable for them.

 

[NYdad88]

One More Question

The Ex is arriving today and has already started texting continuously through the day about her seeing our daughter. What are thoughts on blocking her number from my phone, if after I set up her hours of visitation with her, she continues to text me. I don't know if this is something that will be frowned upon. I just know throughout the past few months, she would text me 8 to 10 times a day wanting to skype with our daughter even though I had certain times we would do it. I am working all day, it's disruptive at work.

 

[Zigner]

The Ex is arriving today and has already started texting continuously through the day about her seeing our daughter. What are thoughts on blocking her number from my phone, if after I set up her hours of visitation with her, she continues to text me. I don't know if this is something that will be frowned upon. I just know throughout the past few months, she would text me 8 to 10 times a day wanting to skype with our daughter even though I had certain times we would do it. I am working all day, it's disruptive at work.

Silence your cell phone and...voila!...no more disruption at work.

 

[Ohiogal]

The Ex is arriving today and has already started texting continuously through the day about her seeing our daughter. What are thoughts on blocking her number from my phone, if after I set up her hours of visitation with her, she continues to text me. I don't know if this is something that will be frowned upon. I just know throughout the past few months, she would text me 8 to 10 times a day wanting to skype with our daughter even though I had certain times we would do it. I am working all day, it's disruptive at work.

I do not think it is appropriate to BLOCK her number from your phone. She has a right to contact you regarding her daughter. Turn your phone off or to silent.

 

[NYdad88]

I do not think it is appropriate to BLOCK her number from your phone. She has a right to contact you regarding her daughter. Turn your phone off or to silent.

Ok. I have the boss calling me while I'm on a job, but I'll see what happens. Do not want to do anything I shouldn't. I wanted to check here first.

 

[Zigner]

Ok. I have the boss calling me while I'm on a job, but I'll see what happens. Do not want to do anything I shouldn't. I wanted to check here first.

Silence the text portion of your cell phone.
If you have Android, you can download a texting app that allows you to choose different methods of notification for different senders.

 

[BL]

In NY , the oder(s) must say specifically , or actions can not rise to contempt.

having said that, visits should be reasonable w/ supervison.

you might want to take it back to court for modification.

 

[NYdad88]

Custody Order Wording

I am here to see what you guys think. My custody order states that "XXXX (respondent) is awarded supervised visitation only in the State of NY, unless otherwise agreed",

I'm here to see what your interpretation of "Otherwise agreed" would be. So far since my ex has moved to NY, she has seen my daughter once or twice a week, my mother is the supervisor and tries to accomodate her (my ex's) working schedule.