supervised visits????

[junior76]

What is the name of your state?FL,
I recently had a child out of wedlock, he is 9 mos. and we have had mediation and a Partial settlement. As I understnd it the CS is what it is so there is no disputing that. I have been giving her 100 dollars a week without paternity and since before he was born. Now the judgement is for twice as much (which I am fine with) and starts the 1st of the year. Unfourtunatley My ex believes she can take me back for the adjusted amount from when he was born. Please confirm. Also she is insisting on Supervised Visitation....on the grounds that in her opinion I am a danger to the welfare of my son. She claims I am a druggie alcohloic and am hostile . May I add that I have never been in any trouble with the law regareding any of this. I do drink moderately but would never compromise the safety of my son. she also insists that I cannot share my time with my wife. (just recently married the right one). does she have any ground in court? obviously her issues are more of spite than her really caring about his(my son's) wellbeing. thanks

 

[Zephyr]

you need to file for joint legal custody and a visitation schedule through the courts

 

[junior76]

reply to visitation

as i said above this has already been arranged through mediation but we couldnt agree on the visitation. we are in fact goint to trial in a few mos. but I do not feel the need to be represented by counsel, this should all be straight foward. am I missing something?

 

[Zephyr]

as i said above this has already been arranged through mediation but we couldnt agree on the visitation. we are in fact goint to trial in a few mos. but I do not feel the need to be represented by counsel, this should all be straight foward. am I missing something?

does mom have a lawyer? do you want have supervised visits with your child indefinitely?

 

[junior76]

reply

yes mom has a lawyer. of course I dont want supervised visits indeafinately.I dont want them now!!! there is now reason for it and I cant stand trying to bond with my son with her rolling her eyes at me. I agreed since he was young to maybe have a few weeks so she was comfortable knowing I can take care for him. I went to parenting class and child cpr. she is just trying to control the situation.

 

[Zephyr]

yes mom has a lawyer. of course I dont want supervised visits indeafinately.I dont want them now!!! there is now reason for it and I cant stand trying to bond with my son with her rolling her eyes at me. I agreed since he was young to maybe have a few weeks so she was comfortable knowing I can take care for him. I went to parenting class and child cpr. she is just trying to control the situation.

get a lawyer... if she has one, you need one

 

[junior76]

reply

A lawyer for what? How far can she go with this?

 

[SingleMom67]

yes mom has a lawyer. of course I dont want supervised visits indeafinately.I dont want them now!!! there is now reason for it and I cant stand trying to bond with my son with her rolling her eyes at me. I agreed since he was young to maybe have a few weeks so she was comfortable knowing I can take care for him. I went to parenting class and child cpr. she is just trying to control the situation.

Why would you go in there without an attorney representing you then? Buddy, this is just my opinion and your certainly welcome to take it or leave it, but you need to do whatever you need to do to retain counsel. This is for your child. Just because you don't think there is a valid reason for supervised visitation, I have seen it time and time again where it's ordered. Doesn't make it right. It is what it is. So do yourself a favor (and your son) and get a lawyer.

 

[stealth2]

If she's represented, you'd be very foolish to walk into court without an attorney.

 

[junior76]

Reply

I did meet with one. The lawyer could not make any guarantees on anything so what am I paying for. I the judge say its 6 mos supervised than thats what he decides. also my wife does not want me going to see her alone. If I am going to be supevised by my Ex. than my wife wants to supervise her.. tough situation.

 

[SingleMom67]

I did meet with one. The lawyer could not make any guarantees on anything so what am I paying for. I the judge say its 6 mos supervised than thats what he decides. also my wife does not want me going to see her alone. If I am going to be supevised by my Ex. than my wife wants to supervise her.. tough situation.

Okay. Then obviously your just here to vent. Good luck to you. Her attorney's going to steam roll right over you.

 

[Zephyr]

I did meet with one. The lawyer could not make any guarantees on anything so what am I paying for. I the judge say its 6 mos supervised than thats what he decides. also my wife does not want me going to see her alone. If I am going to be supevised by my Ex. than my wife wants to supervise her.. tough situation.

and this whole wife thing- not cool, however you can ask for a third party supervisor like your mother perhaps

 

[junior76]

you mean to tell me the law is different whether I have counsel or not?

 

[haiku]

oh where do we start!

some things people just don't learn until they experience it themselves.

in a nutshell.

even if you cant afford it, you can't afford NOT to have a lawyer. (a lawyer does not have a crystal ball, and a good lawyer won't promise you the moon, but he can get you some stars, any lawyer who can promise the moon likely isn't a good lawyer)

The new wife is not a party to this no matter how much you love her or how much she loves the baby. The best bet is to act like she has no input when ever you are around your ex, or anywhere near a court room (if your lawyer is a good one she will tell you that too). It makes the ex happy, and a happy ex is a quiet ex. (what you and your wife discuss and decide in private is your business-thats part of a good marriage)

I am a mother and a step mom, and a former CP, I know of what I speak...LOL

 

[Zephyr]

you mean to tell me the law is different whether I have counsel or not?

no, but the lawyer knows a heck of a lot more than you do about the law, do you know off the top of your head some valid legal points to bring up regarding anything her lawyer might say?


and it is very easy for a lay person to become overwhelmied and frustrated during court then they start not communicating as effectively, and it just gets worse from there