Support For Child From Affair

[babe'kid]

I live in california. I am a single mom with a child from a married man, who is now back with wife and two minor children. I've tried to do what is fair, but don't think father is being fair with child support. I have been patient for 4 1/2 years. He can get child whenever he wants, but child only goes over maybe 5-6 weekend per year unless I ask him to. My child goes to a daycare. How is support in this situation calculated. father, mother, and stepmother all work, however dad said he can't help any more because stepmom is going to take a year off work.
I make about 26,000 a year dad makes about the same. Stepmom makes about 33,000 a year.

Please help I want to do what's right.

 

[tigger22472]

I don't want to seem harsh however... even in other situations the other woman's income DOES NOT COUNT toward HIS child support. Secondly... I find it rude of you to expect the wife of the man you had an affair with to support your child. YOU AND HE were in the wrong not her... I'm sure she's already paid enough....Regardless of if she works or not only his income is considered.

 

[Grandma B]

While it's true that his wife's income cannot be used to calculate child support, I don't see how she could consider taking a year off work if he only makes $26,000 and they have two children of their own. In CA???

You need to set the wheels in motion to be sure your child gets deserved support from the father. First step is to establish paternity through the court. Once that's done, you file for child support.

 

[FKNA]

"First step is to establish paternity through the court. Once that's done, you file for child support."

If you do as Grandma B states above, just keep in mind the adultery laws in California and the penalties that could be involved.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

"First step is to establish paternity through the court. Once that's done, you file for child support."

If you do as Grandma B states above, just keep in mind the adultery laws in California and the penalties that could be involved.

My response:

FKNA is an idiot. California hasn't recognized "adultery" as a crime since the early 1960's. If brains were dynamite, FKNA wouldn't have enough to blow himself up. So, don't listen to that fool. FKNA is just a drunk that comes to these Forums looking for assistance to get out of his many arrests for DUI and Public Drunkeness. That's about it.

As a matter of fact, adultery isn't even a ground for divorce in California. Being a stupid fool like FKNA is, however.

Grandma B's suggestion was not only sound, but it's required prior to any support order.

IAAL

 

[FKNA]

babe'kid.......IAAL brings up a point that there are no adultery laws in California. Which very well may be true since I don't keep up with the laws for that state. There also may not be any "emotional distress" or "alienation of affection" laws in California either.

Point being, regardless of what the laws are for your state, one sometimes need to use common sense. You had an affair with a married man and had a child with this man. Per your post it appears that he is paying child support, but now 4 1/2 years later you don't feel that he is being fair. Whatever further action you decide on taking may have dire consequences. If you take legal actions, this could piss the ex-lover off and he in turn could contact a lawyer to see what kind of legal recourse he has against you and/or his present wife could do the same.

 

[tigger22472]

I'm proud of you FKNA.. I've seen posts where you and IAAL go back and forth and yet no comment made and even pointed out that he was correct....THAT'S CLASS!!!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

"babe'kid.......IAAL brings up a point that there are no adultery laws in California. Which very well may be true since I don't keep up with the laws for that state. There also may not be any "emotional distress" or "alienation of affection" laws in California either."

MY RESPONSE:

There are no such laws in California, i.e., adultery, alienation of affection. Really FKNA, you've got to stay out of the Family Law arena on these forums. Why would you bring up Alienation of Affection anyway? Even if it were a viable cause of action, didn't you read our writer's post ? She was NEVER married to the guy ! And, in the States where AofA is the law, there must be a marriage to "alienate" - - first !

And then, you talk about "emotional distress." For what purpose? And, under what theory, or law, are you referencing by making such an outlandish comment?



"Point being, regardless of what the laws are for your state, one sometimes need to use common sense. You had an affair with a married man and had a child with this man. Per your post it appears that he is paying child support, but now 4 1/2 years later you don't feel that he is being fair. Whatever further action you decide on taking may have dire consequences. If you take legal actions, this could piss the ex-lover off and he in turn could contact a lawyer to see what kind of legal recourse he has against you and/or his present wife could do the same."

MY RESPONSE:

And, just what is your "point" ? Oh please, you've got to stop. All you're doing is misleading people. It doesn't matter to the State why the child is in existence - - the fact remains, the child is here. Therefore, under California law, our writer is entitled to have her child support adjusted to State Guidelines once each year. As a child grows, it requires more of everything (much like the alcohol you need more and more of each year).

The State couldn't care less if the "ex-lover" gets "pissed off" and neither should our writer. If the child support is not within guidelines for the age of the child, it will be adjusted. Period.

His wife has no legal standing to "do the same" of anything to our writer, in California. Where are you coming up with this bullcrap ?

You've got to stop trying to justify yourself. In doing so, you are misleading and misguiding our Family Law writers, and causing people to be concerned about things that are of NO CONCERN ! Since you are brainless in the area of Family Law, then your stupid comments cause me to have to follow you around the boards to make corrections to your absolute stupidity. Stay off the Family Law boards so I don't have to waste my time on you and your kind.

You're such an idiot. Go back to drinking at the lake in the middle of the night. You do that quite well.

IAAL

 

[Grandma B]

Per your post it appears that he is paying child support, but now 4 1/2 years later you don't feel that he is being fair.

In the original post, she stated, "dad said he can't help any more because stepmom is going to take a year off work."

You see, the child has many years to go before coming of legal age, but dad wants to stop paying support at age 4-1/2. She needs to get court-ordered support so that he can't do that. Got it?

This man fathered a child while married to another woman. Just because his wife is enough of an idiot to remain with him doesn't mean the poster should also be an idiot. She needs to protect the interests of her child.

 

[FKNA]

tigger....I have found that you can ignore IAAL and his true colors will still show.

Grandma B...."You see, the child has many years to go before coming of legal age, but dad wants to stop paying support at age 4-1/2. She needs to get court-ordered support so that he can't do that. Got it?"......babe'kid started a new thread and states "Also court wasn't my idea, but his in response to saying that he can't increase the support even though child care will go up."

To go forward blindly would not be prudent.

 

[MarlaR]

I know this may not be the place but I would like to thank FKNA and IAAL for the laughs that I got by reading your replies back and forth. I am very sorry for the original poster but I have been going through a Hell all of my own about my unborn child and to be able to laugh is like a gift from Heaven....thanks FKNA and IAAL...