suspected drug use

[duckyp0o77]

What is the name of your state? tennessee

My 5 year old said during a "drug" commercial "That's what my daddy does w/ S, He smokes weed". How do I go about getting him drug tested w/ out him suspecting it's me who's pursuing this? I'm wanting to stop visitation and I don't know how to go about doing it. When I asked her if he did it around her she said yes.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state? tennessee

My 5 year old said during a "drug" commercial "That's what my daddy does w/ S, He smokes weed". How do I go about getting him drug tested w/ out him suspecting it's me who's pursuing this? I'm wanting to stop visitation and I don't know how to go about doing it. When I asked her if he did it around her she said yes.

So, on the basis of a five year-old you are going to suggest to a court that they suspend your ex's constitutional rights and force him to submit to an intrusive search?

I don't think so. You can ask all you want but keeping your name out of it isn't going to happen. Or did you forget the OTHER part of the U.S. Constitution that allows an accused to know and face his accuser?

 

[duckyp0o77]

So, on the basis of a five year-old you are going to suggest to a court that they suspend your ex's constitutional rights and force him to submit to an intrusive search?

that's beside the point.. but it's ok for a child to be around a parent while he's doing drugs? yeah..@@

I don't think so. You can ask all you want but keeping your name out of it isn't going to happen. Or did you forget the OTHER part of the U.S. Constitution that allows an accused to know and face his accuser?

what about calling cps.. isn't the informer's identity confidential? i just wanna know what i can do. this came up this past Sunday and I've got two weeks before she is to go back over there. I got one of those at home drug tests for her that was negative.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? tennessee

My 5 year old said during a "drug" commercial "That's what my daddy does w/ S, He smokes weed". How do I go about getting him drug tested w/ out him suspecting it's me who's pursuing this? I'm wanting to stop visitation and I don't know how to go about doing it. When I asked her if he did it around her she said yes.

If it is done around her with frequency- it could show up in a hair follicle drug test. This has happened before and resulting in the parent losing custody.

 

[CJane]

What is the name of your state? tennessee

My 5 year old said during a "drug" commercial "That's what my daddy does w/ S, He smokes weed". How do I go about getting him drug tested w/ out him suspecting it's me who's pursuing this? I'm wanting to stop visitation and I don't know how to go about doing it. When I asked her if he did it around her she said yes.

Is this an ongoing desire to stop visitation, or did it just start when your daughter made this comment?

If it's 'only' pot, you're probably going to have to prove that he uses it when he has your child, not just that he uses it.

Just out of curiousity, how does your daughter (at 5) know the difference between a cigarette and a joint?

 

[duckyp0o77]

Is this an ongoing desire to stop visitation, or did it just start when your daughter made this comment?

If it's 'only' pot, you're probably going to have to prove that he uses it when he has your child, not just that he uses it.

Just out of curiousity, how does your daughter (at 5) know the difference between a cigarette and a joint?

She "rolled" her fingers when when my husband asked her what he (father) did w/ the "weed". and let me just say.. drugs have no place in my home, never has, never will. so i know she did not get that from here.

 

[duckyp0o77]

Is this an ongoing desire to stop visitation, or did it just start when your daughter made this comment?

If it's 'only' pot, you're probably going to have to prove that he uses it when he has your child, not just that he uses it.

Just out of curiousity, how does your daughter (at 5) know the difference between a cigarette and a joint?

Sorry.. Forgot to answer your first question. No, this has not been an ongoing attempt to stop visitation.

 

[casa]

Sorry.. Forgot to answer your first question. No, this has not been an ongoing attempt to stop visitation.

In order to change visitation in any way legally- you have to file to modify your court order. If that modification includes limiting, supervising or ending visitation with the other parent- You will need to PROVE in court that the child is in danger &/or that the other parent is habitually using illegal drugs. That proof is usually outlined in your state Family Law Code and generally includes: rehab history, police reports, DUIs etc.

 

[Buddabrother]

Have you thought about talking to him about it?

If what you think is happening really is, then talking about it with him, telling him your concerns, and asking him to stop (at the least from him using around your daughter) imo ought to be the first step.

Sure, if he denies it, now he knows you know...and if that doesn't get him to straighten up on his own, it's unlikely anything will...but dropping the CPS bomb as a first move suggests (to me) that there is more hostility on your side then a desire to actually improve the situation.

 

[casa]

Have you thought about talking to him about it?

If what you think is happening really is, then talking about it with him, telling him your concerns, and asking him to stop (at the least from him using around your daughter) imo ought to be the first step.

Sure, if he denies it, now he knows you know...and if that doesn't get him to straighten up on his own, it's unlikely anything will...but dropping the CPS bomb as a first move suggests (to me) that there is more hostility on your side then a desire to actually improve the situation.

And remind Dad that since child verbalized it to you, she's capable of verbalizing it in school and to her Doctors and neighbors and family....etc. If he's really smoking marijuana, maybe that will make him paranoid enough to stop doing it around your child.