suspend visitation?

[mothrscorned]

I belive my son is being molested-HELP

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina We think Gene (my son) has/is being molested in some way by his father who has court ordered visitation for 2 days and 1 Night a week..
We think this based on things he has said/done in my presence and at my mothers house. His pediatrician shares our suspicions and refered us to the ARC (abuse recovery center) who instructed us to file a police report
which we did yesterday, the investigator contacted us today and
refered us to the Dickerson Center for Children for an evaluation
and interview with a forensic psychotherapist next friday @
11am. Gene's dad is threatening to take me back to court for not relinquishing Gene for his court ordered visitation- he said that his lawyer said the judge would find me in contempt and I may have to serve jail time if I dont bring Gene to him. Which I do not want to do because of the allegations that have been made.
I keep kicking myself for dismissing things that
could be signs or could be something else, I trusted his dad not to
hurt him so the thought that something could be going on never
crossed my mind- there have been times that he has come home
from his dad's house with a sore bottom- it was red, irritated
looking, almost like he was pooping and not being wiped well, and
sore to the point of not wanting to sit in the bath tub because
the water stung him. But I dismissed it as just that he wasn't
telling his dad when he pooped so he didn't get wiped. Not until one
day at my mom's house did we suspect anything - he was playing
with TaCoy and he tried to put TaCoys finger on his anus, Jordan
and TaCoy were shocked and asked Gene who taught him that,
Gene at first said he couldnt say until they assured him that it is
ok to tell them and thats when he said his daddy joe did it. He has
said sexually suggestive things- smacking his bottom and saying
bare-back. He told his pediatrician that his daddy joe gives him a
bad touch with his mouth. I am just so sick and scared. I only
wanted what was best for Gene when I found joe and brought
him into his life-now I feel horrible.

 

[MichaCA]

Since there is enough concern about abuse that professionals have opened a case, you should go down to the court house and file a exparte order giving you full physical custody. Hire an attorney, or go to the courthouse and get the correct forms yourself, type up a one page stating the facts of what is going on.

In the meantime, even though it is in violation of your current court order, I would not return your son for visitation. Don't listen to dads threats or take anything he says as accurate legal advice. I cannot imagine a judge giving you a hard time for that...however, you really should file the exparte so you've done your part.

Have you hired an attorney? I believe the exparte motion should be done immediately, however...you need to look for an attorney for the hearing that will be set after the exparte motion is (hopefully) granted.

I was confused by your last sentence...that you feel bad bring J into son's life...is he not his legal father? (also, you should edit out all peoples names from your post)

 

[mothrscorned]

J- is his father, but he didn't know that I had gotten pregnant and had his son. I found him and introduced them- I thought every child deserves to know who their father is. Now I regret doing so. I have not hired an attorney-financially very difficult at this time. But thank you for the advice

 

[Frustrated59]

A few more steps

There are several things you can do. First, I would get an ex parte hearing asap. That will resolve the custody transition temporarily until a formal hearing date. This will give you appropriate time (generally 30 days) to properly investigate.

Secondly, you need to get your son in counseling. Counselors are great at teaching them appropriate boundaries and how and who to communicate to when those boundaries have been breached. Otherwise you seem to be taking the appropriate steps.

I am not an attorney and unfamiliar with your state's guidelines, so please investigate further but time is of the essence.

 

[Just Blue]

Bump********************************************************..

 

[gr8rn]

What has happened since 2/4 did you file for an exparte hearing?

 

[CJane]

So, what has happened in the last 10 days?

 

[divona2000]

Today, 05:57 PM
mothrscorned
Junior Member

Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: west columbia SC
Posts: 7

My child is going through the most horrific thing ever right now. I a trying to get help. Like I said before, if you had any idea the feelings of helplessness & guilt you wouldnt be trolling me and getting mad that I made more than one post. I need help and I will annoy the crap out of everyone until I get it.

Today, 06:38 PM
divona2000 divona2000 is online now
Member

Join Date: May 2006
Location: MI
Posts: 646

I am commenting "double post" and "triple post" to let the Senior members here realize that you have numerous threads open on the same subject.

This has nothing to do with you or your child.

I am not mad at you.

This is not trolling.

Annoying the crap out of people won't get you help. But hey, go ahead with your plan.

How do you know what myself, or anyone else, might have been through in our lives?

...and in a PM to me...

"really? You have nothing better to do than dog a mother searching for help during her darkest hour? What kind of a person are you?"

 

[Just Blue]

Today, 05:57 PM
mothrscorned
Junior Member

Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: west columbia SC
Posts: 7


Today, 06:38 PM
divona2000 divona2000 is online now
Member

Join Date: May 2006
Location: MI
Posts: 646



...and in a PM to me...

OP will have her other questions " likely" put on her 1st thread. Or she will be put on a "time out" for being so INCREDIBLY rude to you...

One would think that if one were to join a forum, and ask for FREE ASSISTANCE from VOLUNTEERS of said forum, then one could at least follow the TOS.

 

[mothrscorned]

sorry about all that......in a very messed up place right now-mentally, physically, and emotionally. Feb. 11th my son had his forensic interview- therapist said that she was documenting a full disclosure. In the time since I have been served with a rule to show cause, I have filed my response and an affidavit explaining my side as well as the timeline of which everything has happened--his father is claiming I have refused visitation since Dec 25th --which is completely untrue and I have text messages/voicemail to prove that. The invstigator on my case has called me and said that my sons age is working against him and she doesnt know if she will be able to press charges because he wont elaborate on where the alleged abuse took place. She said his father could easily explain it away by saying that it was during a bath/wiping his bottom. However tonight while I was folding laundry my son started talking about what happened to him again (he was helping me put clothes away) and I quickly grabbed my phone and turnd on the camcorder- I asked him to please repeat what he just said-he did, basically the same as before 'daddy J put his finger in my butt' then I asked him where this happened, he said in his room. He also began talking about his father saying he was going to shoot him with a shot gun. My question now is since I have my son on video talking about abuse can investigator use it? I apologize for my attrocious punctuation and spelling-using my mobile to post.

 

[mothrscorned]

As for my son, he has started going to counseling. We have our second session on Monday with a wonderful play therapist. Hopefully we will be able to work out his fears and anxiety. He seems to be relaxing the past couple of weeks. I can see in him a sense of relief. I dont know what I will do if his father is not charged and allowed to continue his visitation.

 

[Ohiogal]

You were the only one there to hear your son say that and you had him repeat it and this was after receiving an motion to show cause? Yeah, I can see you being accused of trying to prompt your child to say this to get you out of trouble. And if it is believed you are COACHING the child, prepare for a judge to be extremely ticked with you and disbelieve everything else said.

 

[mothrscorned]

We had our second meeting with his therapist and he is starting to talk to her. He is still scared though; he talks to me and my fiance sometimes- usually randomly, we never ask him about it. The investigator is not going to press charges and is closing the case- although she did say that if he says more in therapy she can re-open or we can file another incident report. The fornsic psychologist says that she is reccomending that if his fathers visitation is not suspended that he should atleast have monitored visits for the next few months while my son is in therapy- then she wants another opportunity to do another forensic interview with him to see if he will come forward with more details. I am just sick about all of this and I cannot stop myself from thinking the what-ifs... I am so scared that I will be found in contempt even though I kpt Gene away from his dad for his own protection.