Take my child out of the country?

[moynihan1129]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

My ex and I recently split up and have joint custody with me having physical placement. Currently, my ex's priorities in life are being young and going out with her friends. She has no job and is just staying with random friends. For this reason she only has visitation 3 out of every 14 days on a repeating cycle at a specific location. Our court order does not say anything about either one of us moving. My employer just offered me a temporary assignment to be on a team to design and implement a new system globaly. The only problem is this assignment is for 2 years and in Ireland. It is a great opportunity and I would be back in the states before my daughter is of school age. Work will pay for all expenses while out of the country including daycare. My question is as follows: Is there any chance I could even have a shot of petitioning to take my daughter out of the country for 2 years? I would agree to a few weeks of visitation and arrange all transportation...I just wanted to see if there is a remote chance before persuing with my lawyer. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by moynihan1129

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

My ex and I recently split up and have joint custody with me having physical placement. Currently, my ex's priorities in life are being young and going out with her friends. She has no job and is just staying with random friends. For this reason she only has visitation 3 out of every 14 days on a repeating cycle at a specific location. Our court order does not say anything about either one of us moving. My employer just offered me a temporary assignment to be on a team to design and implement a new system globaly. The only problem is this assignment is for 2 years and in Ireland. It is a great opportunity and I would be back in the states before my daughter is of school age. Work will pay for all expenses while out of the country including daycare. My question is as follows: Is there any chance I could even have a shot of petitioning to take my daughter out of the country for 2 years? I would agree to a few weeks of visitation and arrange all transportation...I just wanted to see if there is a remote chance before persuing with my lawyer. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

When was the order made?

(why exactly didn't you ask your attorney yet? S/he is the one with all of the facts of your case - not us)

[Proserpina]

Never mind - just read your post history.

When would this new position take effect?

[moynihan1129]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Never mind - just read your post history.

When would this new position take effect?

Order was only officially issued 10/27. I am not entirely sure when the new position would take effect. I will find out the specific's next week. It was brought up to me today as an item to be thinking about. It would likely be after the 1st of the year.


To reply to the other post-I found out after his office was closed today. I left a message for him to call me back next week.

Court has decided that it is in her best interest to be with me. I am willing to do anything for her so I have no problem passing on this for my daughter's sake, but I do believe it is a "few and far between" career opportunity, and, at this point am considering it.

[Hisbabygirl77]

Originally Posted by moynihan1129

Order was only officially issued 10/27. I am not entirely sure when the new position would take effect. I will find out the specific's next week. It was brought up to me today as an item to be thinking about. It would likely be after the 1st of the year.


To reply to the other post-I found out after his office was closed today. I left a message for him to call me back next week.

Court has decided that it is in her best interest to be with me. I am willing to do anything for her so I have no problem passing on this for my daughter's sake, but I do believe it is a "few and far between" career opportunity, and, at this point am considering it.

Visitation 3 out of every 14 days...How much time does she have those days? Is it overnight? What do you think your ex will think of this move? Would she be likely to contest it or do you think she may consider having longer periods of time less often in exchange for short periods of time but more often? Also if she is wanting to party and be young have you thought about offering to pay for her to come and visit child in Ireland? Then she could party in a new country...that might appeal to her.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by Hisbabygirl77

Visitation 3 out of every 14 days...How much time does she have those days? Is it overnight? What do you think your ex will think of this move? Would she be likely to contest it or do you think she may consider having longer periods of time less often in exchange for short periods of time but more often? Also if she is wanting to party and be young have you thought about offering to pay for her to come and visit child in Ireland? Then she could party in a new country...that might appeal to her.

Frankly if the order was made less than a month ago I just cannot see any judge approving any substantial change at this point.

This time next year? Absolutely.

But now? Just can't see it.

And as it's Friday evening it's probably just as easy to wait until Monday morning and ask your attorney, OP.

[moynihan1129]

Originally Posted by Hisbabygirl77

Visitation 3 out of every 14 days...How much time does she have those days? Is it overnight? What do you think your ex will think of this move? Would she be likely to contest it or do you think she may consider having longer periods of time less often in exchange for short periods of time but more often? Also if she is wanting to party and be young have you thought about offering to pay for her to come and visit child in Ireland? Then she could party in a new country...that might appeal to her.

She does get overnight on the 3 nights but only at a specific residence. She would likely not agree to longer periods of visitaion less often. She keeps saying,"I am going to drag you back into court for custody when I get my life together." Our relationship was actually good while it lasted. She suddenly changed over the past few months when hanging with a new crowd. I have actually requested that we go to counseling together to reconcile our differences especially for our daughter's sake. Honestly nothing went wrong with our relationship until she started hainging with a new crowd...almost like a screw came loose and I see a different side of her that I have never seen. Several of her lifelong friends have told me that they don't agree with the decisions she is making in life and will regret it as soon as she realizes what she is doing to her own life and our daughter's.
Funny you should ask about taking her to Ireland. We were engaged. I actually asked her if she would be willing to start working on our relationship slowly and possible come along since it is a once in a life time opportunity. She said, "I don't want to leave my friends."--that she has known for all of 2 months. She also commented on how she likes being single and "able to mess around and have fun." Her friends also say she will want to come back to me when she is ready to "grow up again," however the damage will be done at that point. I do not want her to think that everytime she wants to go off on a fling that I will put my life on hold and take her back whenever she wants. Anyway, apologies for rambling.

[Hisbabygirl77]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Frankly if the order was made less than a month ago I just cannot see any judge approving any substantial change at this point.

This time next year? Absolutely.

But now? Just can't see it.

And as it's Friday evening it's probably just as easy to wait until Monday morning and ask your attorney, OP.

I agree that is why I was asking about if ex might agree. If she only had daughter a few hours maybe she would think having longer periods of time but less often would be worth it. But honestly OP it chances dont look good that you will get this move approved unless she agrees to it.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by Hisbabygirl77

I agree that is why I was asking about if ex might agree. If she only had daughter a few hours maybe she would think having longer periods of time but less often would be worth it. But honestly OP it chances dont look good that you will get this move approved unless she agrees to it.

Even if they submit a stipulation I'm not convinced it will even be reviewed, yet alone ordered, at this point, y'know?

But hey - anything is possible!

[moynihan1129]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Even if they submit a stipulation I'm not convinced it will even be reviewed, yet alone ordered, at this point, y'know?

But hey - anything is possible!

I agree with the anything is possible comment. A few weeks ago I was being told by several people that Dad's never get custody. From the very beginning my intentions were only to that of my daugther's best interest. Was very glad to see the judge was on the same page. Her argument in court was, "I am her mother and I need her in my life."

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by moynihan1129

I agree with the anything is possible comment. A few weeks ago I was being told by several people that Dad's never get custody. From the very beginning my intentions were only to that of my daugther's best interest. Was very glad to see the judge was on the same page. Her argument in court was, "I am her mother and I need her in my life."

It would be just as foolish to presume that "Dads never get custody" as it would be to presume "Moms always get custody".

I still, however, believe you will have a very difficult task ahead of you should Mom not agree to your request.